To think about leaving my DH because I had a lovely day without him without the kids.

[theClasher]

Today I took the kids out all day. I switched my phone off as I didn't want any disturbances and we had a lovely time. The kids had so much fun. But the thing that I really noticed the most was that I actually felt happy, calm and relaxed. The kids weren't getting told off my DH and I wasn't feeling stressed trying to get the kids to "behave" so dh wouldn't get angry. I also wasn't snappy with the kids as a result and I wasn't looking at other couples chatting and laughing thinking why can't I have that with my DH.

I've walked in and dh hasn't said a word to me about my day or even acknowledged me. I've only been upstairs 10 minutes and he's already told one of the kids off for something.

AIBU to rethink my marriage?

That’s a positive step. Did he say how he was feeling? Do you understand what’s happening with him? I’m wondering what’s stopping him from parenting his children? Does he know how to, do you think?
Also he might not want to separate, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t.

No, he won't change, he doesn't even admit to ignoring you, so he obviously doesn't think he's doing anything wrong, regardless of what he's said. He's just trying to keep you from splitting up, because he will have to look after himself, and will have nobody to vent his frustrations at.

Remember, you don't need his agreement to separate.

He's completely ignoring me now. Not acknowledging anything I say to him. A couple of word sentences if I ask him a question.

He's left it to me to decide whether to be together or not. But I don't want him to then throw it in my face down the line that I chose to break the family up and bring disruption to the kids lives.

He's told me that he will change and make an effort with the kids but I've told him that's great. You can still do these things when we're not together. What about our relationship though- ignoring me, treating me like crap. Those thingswont change.

Well hopefully we will try with the children. He does not appear to want to try with you, which is OK we are not bound until death us do part those days. I just wish he could be honest with you about it.

As I said, he doesn't want the hassle that a split will entail. It's obvious he doesn't care about you though, so go and see a solicitor and get the ball rolling.

He's left it to me to decide whether to be together or not.

I would take this to mean he wants to split. He can't even be arsed to make a decision and talk things through. It's sad but I think it's over.

theClasher that’s awful, I’m so sorry for you.

People can say all sorts of things, it’s what they do that counts. He’s treating you appallingly now. I’d see a solicitor and get some advice.

Yeah he doesn’t get to pass the buck on this one (but how predictable that he has tried)

Tell him that his behaviour is demonstrating his choice and as he has in fact ignored you completely then it’s clear he as chosen to end the relationship.

What do you need to do now OP? Can he leave or do you need to leave with the DC? (I would advice against that if you can avoid it) is the house jointly owned? Or joint tenancy?