Would you like another woman taking over your kitchen?

[feellikeanoldbag]

Long story so won't bore you but a situation arose last week where one of my kids - all 4 kids still at home and over 25 - told me his Gf was cooking for us that evening - she'll only eat certain foods shall we say! Anyway, I became very unreasonably paralytic with rage (without showing it) as I didn't want another female controlling my kitchen. I don't mind anyone just helping a little but not taking full control. Have only told Dh who thinks I'm unhinged so he doesn't count but AIBU?

Sounds great. You need to relax are you always so controlling. And it's not your kitchen it's a communal space.

“Female” ?

Yeah that’s pretty unhinged. You’re making a drama out of something that is supposed to be a nice gesture. YABVU.

I see it as the family kitchen so wouldn’t have a problem with this.

Eh?? No cooking? I'd bloody love it!

Bloody hell, did you actually say something to her? Op, this is very odd, would you be so upset if it was a man running your kitchen?

Yeah, that's a really weird attitude. I'd have been happy to have someone cook for me. And I don't see it as 'my' kitchen, it's a family kitchen.

Even if you didn't like it, to feel actual rage is just so odd!

Send her round here.

Anyone who comes to my house is perfectly welcome to cook anytime they like. Getting possessive over your kitchen is just weird.

Me (and DP who also owns half the kitchen) wouldn’t mind - as long as it wasn’t one of those situations where she’s saying: “Where’s your sieve? Do you have fresh basil? How do I turn the oven on? Where are the sharp knives?” And generally asking for so much assistance we might as well cook it ourselves.

Your reaction is so extreme, if one of your children had a boyfriend and he offers to cook would you mind or is it just females?

Is your worth just wrapped up on being the female provider of food?

Also... quite sexist? Calling women 'females' always puts my back up anyway, and there's a weird suggestion that you think kitchens are exclusively in the woman's purview.

gawd, I love cooking, it's What I Do, but ds1's gf cannot wait to get in there and turn out a meal for us all.
I think she is worried I may feel she cannot feed him and is unsuitable! :o :o

Loosen the reins a bit OP, and get yourself a drink and relax.

is GF busy tonight/toorrow night? I asked the fam and we'd be delighted if she cooked for us. we like everything. pm for address.

I don't care who cooks in my kitchen if it means me not having to do it! But then I hate cooking.

Perhaps she's worried that you find her a burden if she's a fussy eater and wants to be seen doing her share.

I don't like other people in the kitchen when I'm cooking but if someone else offers I'm out of there 😂

That would be a dream come true.

I didn't want another female controlling my kitchen

Can you tell us a bit more? What does it mean to you to have another woman controlling your kitchen?

You sound utterly mental.

YABVVVVU, and completely unhinged, as your dh suggests.

Would you like another woman taking over your kitchen?

Yes please, well, or a man, - how do I apply ?

This is literally a MIL thread waiting to happen.
My MIL was like this when we moved in for a short while. We moved straight out and to another country.
You need to explore why you're so threatened by another 'female'...

What if she wanted to hammer some nails in a piece of wood in the shed, would your husband quietly loose his shit over that ?

Very extreme reaction - what’s really going on OP?

Is your identity enmeshed with being the ‘caregiver’ and food is how you demonstrate that?

Internalised misogyny?

Feel threatened by son’s GF taking over primary female role in his life?

If they go the distance, will she be posting on here in ten years about her MIL?

None of the above?

Anyway, I became very unreasonably paralytic with rage (without showing it) as I didn't want another female controlling my kitchen.

WTF did I just read?!