Parents next door neighbour asking for money towards new fence

[SunburstsOrMarbleHalls]

My mum and dad are in their 80's and live in a housing association house, they live on their state pension and don't have have any savings.

Their next door neighbours are a nice couple in their 30's who own their home and have made lots of improvements with a view to selling their property. As part of the improvements they have replaced their back garden fencing, this was more of a cosmetic improvement as previously the old fence was not broken or damaged but was about 10 years old.

Last week after the fence had been replaced the neighbour knocked on my parents door and asked if they would contribute £100 towards the new fence. The neighbour on the other side of their property who is currently in the process of purchasing their home of the local housing association has already agreed to pay £100. The person at the back of their property has not been asked to contribute as the neighbour has said they don't know them. My mum was a bit flustered and said she would have to discuss it with my dad and no further conversation has taken place.

I completely understand that it is common for neighbours to decide to share the cost for things such as this however my mum and dad really don't have the money. Mum feels really embarrassed at having to explain this to their neighbours. I have said she doesn't have to explain her decision and can just say no with no further details needed but she doesn't feel she can do this.

The neighbours will see a return on their investment when they sell their property but my mum and dad won't. The neighbours are aware that my mum and dad don't own their property.

Mum and dad are keen to keep a good neighbourly relationship and don't want their to be any animosity over this issue. At 86 my mum does tend to let things like this worry her and she is fretting that if she does not contribute it will cause some bad feeling.

I'm sure that the neighbours didn't mean to cause any issue but by knocking on my mum and dads door to ask directly for the money after the fence was already fitted it has placed my parents in an awkward situation.

WIBU to go and see the neighbours on my parents behalf and politely explain that my parents will not be contributing £100 or any other amount to their new fence?

Without being dramatic, a lot of people would take a very dim view of people in their late 80's being approached like that for money.

Elderly people are very vulnerable to financial abuse and being imposed upon.

I could well imagine your parents fretting about this. Many would.

I would be very firm with your neighbours and I would tell them very calmly that they were never to approach my parents again for money.

They should know better than to do that. It's not difficult to understand.

I definitely think they were chancing their arm and to do that to an elderly couple is very poor.

It needs to be pointed out to them clearly.
If they are mortified, maybe they are not the worst.

If not, then you have a clear measure of who they are.

Absolutely not cheeky fuckers. They should have asked before they did it and even then the answer would have been no.
I did pay to replace my neighbours fence because it was a massive eyesore and I wanted it - he wasn't bothered. But that's a totally different kettle of fish.
God some people have a real nerve.

100% no need to contribute - if the neighbours want to change the fence that's their choice.

I like my ivy covered fence.

Oh @SunburstsOrMarbleHalls

My heart goes out to you and your parents. I am actually upset for you all reading that .

Please don't let them have a penny .

And exactly at what @billy1966 said.

YANBU.
Neighbours should have asked if the people either side were willing to contribute BEFORE getting the fence done, and then assessing whether they would go ahead alone or not.
How ridiculous of them to get a new fence and then ask for money?! CFs.

I've had a quick look on the local housing association website and it appears that it is the tenants responsibility to maintain fencing.

The old fence panels were structurally sound with no visible damage. It was about 10 years old and the previous neighbours erected it along with new posts so it probably was a little shabby looking but it was still sturdy and even in bad weather there has never been any issues with it.

I will be polite but firm and tell the neighbour that my mum and dad are not in a financial position to contribute.

If they get a bit argumentative I will remind the neighbor that as far as my mum and dad was aware the old fence was in good order and that there was no prior consultation or agreement to financially contribute to the new fence. I will also tell them that my mum and dad felt very uncomfortable with essentially being doorstepped with an unexpected request for £100 and if they wish to take this issue further then they can deal directly with me as my parents are elderly and vulnerable (this is not a lie they do get quite confused and for many years I have dealt with all official financial and medical stuff for them)

If they've replaced the perfectly good fence that belonged to your parents then that was their choice and their debt. If it was the other side then it's their fence and again they need to pay. Either way your parents don't owe anything. Different if the fence was broken and there had been some dialogue.

If its the neighbours fence then they are responsible to replace it. If it's your parents fence I would tell them they had no right to touch it as not their property. Then tell them to contact housing for payment as had it been damaged it would be there job to replace for you parents as the landlord of the property. The other neighbour is buying so will be responsible for up keep. Your parents are not so do not pay. Even if the neighbour gets funny what does it matter they are selling up and moving.

I don't think the neighbours are moving in the immediate future as they are currently planning their wedding first. My mum and dad are just keen to maintain a friendly relationship with the neighbours as they want a quiet life and at their age don't want any problems or to feel awkward. My mum has spent nearly her entire life on the estate and likes to be able to wave hello or have a brief chat with people when she pops to the local shop.

Did you speak to the neighbours?

If nothing wrong with fence and neighbours wanted a new one

Then they pay

Not your parents

How much was the fence

They should have asked first. Just to go ahead and build what they want and then ask for contributions is wrong.
I'd do as you are suggesting.

Well you're obviously a nicer person than me because if anyone had gone round to my parents asking them for money I'd have been straight round, telling them politely (at first!) but in no uncertain terms they were never to ask my parents for money again, and in future any requests were to come to me. And any arguments from them and the roof would have come off. The cheeky tickets, that's outrageous!

Ha, fuckers, not tickets!! Auto correct is obviously nicer than me too 😂😂😂

Mmm so actually it looks like the neighbours had NO right to remove the fencing, as it wasn't theirs to remove, it belonged to your parents property.

If they do get stroppy, I think I would raise that point.

I hope you have got this sorted OP

"I'm sorry, you'll have to speak to the housing association."