Parents next door neighbour asking for money towards new fence

[SunburstsOrMarbleHalls]

My mum and dad are in their 80's and live in a housing association house, they live on their state pension and don't have have any savings.

Their next door neighbours are a nice couple in their 30's who own their home and have made lots of improvements with a view to selling their property. As part of the improvements they have replaced their back garden fencing, this was more of a cosmetic improvement as previously the old fence was not broken or damaged but was about 10 years old.

Last week after the fence had been replaced the neighbour knocked on my parents door and asked if they would contribute £100 towards the new fence. The neighbour on the other side of their property who is currently in the process of purchasing their home of the local housing association has already agreed to pay £100. The person at the back of their property has not been asked to contribute as the neighbour has said they don't know them. My mum was a bit flustered and said she would have to discuss it with my dad and no further conversation has taken place.

I completely understand that it is common for neighbours to decide to share the cost for things such as this however my mum and dad really don't have the money. Mum feels really embarrassed at having to explain this to their neighbours. I have said she doesn't have to explain her decision and can just say no with no further details needed but she doesn't feel she can do this.

The neighbours will see a return on their investment when they sell their property but my mum and dad won't. The neighbours are aware that my mum and dad don't own their property.

Mum and dad are keen to keep a good neighbourly relationship and don't want their to be any animosity over this issue. At 86 my mum does tend to let things like this worry her and she is fretting that if she does not contribute it will cause some bad feeling.

I'm sure that the neighbours didn't mean to cause any issue but by knocking on my mum and dads door to ask directly for the money after the fence was already fitted it has placed my parents in an awkward situation.

WIBU to go and see the neighbours on my parents behalf and politely explain that my parents will not be contributing £100 or any other amount to their new fence?

Just adding my agreement. We have fence panels andagree in advance when one needs to be replaced. Especially with older people on a fixed income it would be totally reasonable to have needed advanced warning. I think the issue now is, if your parents had aged (sounds like they wouldn't have thought it necessary) then would they now contribute. A courtesy might be to contribute a quarter or half. It's good for them that you are taking on the discussion.

Just tell them they don't own the property and responsibility for such maintenance lies with the Housing Association and give them the phone number. They were neither consulted nor their agreement to the work obtained - ergo no one owes CF neighbour anything

YANBU.

I wouldn’t even bother talking to them unless my parents wanted me too.

Yanbu. Our neighbour asked us if they could take our joint hedge out and put a fence in. We explained we didn't mind but there was no way we could contribute. They've done it and it's so much better and I feel bad that we couldn't pay but they seem happy so all is good. Hope they are reasonable when you go round.

Go and see the neighbours and speak on behalf of your parents, telling them no way.
The fence wasn't broken, they own their own home and your parents didn't ask for a replacement fence CF's, preying on old folk.

Also, it being HA or whose boundary or fence it is, or what the deeds say is largely irrelevant. The neighbours wanted the new fence so it’s their responsibility to pay.

The answer is no, the neighbours have no right asking for the money or indeed putting a new fence up without permission first.

They should have asked before, not after doing the fence. Your parents can say no, they'll get over the embarrassment and the neighbours will be moving anyway.

Your poor parents. No wonder your DMum has been fretting, and your DDad would rather try to find the money.

I think your decision of a quiet word is definitely the best idea.

However, I think the neighbours are BVU to discuss this with your parents after the job had been done.

Good luck!

I would be absolutely furious if this happened to my parents and would be hotfooting it to their front door immediately
They are utter bastards hassling elderly folk like that. They will know your parents are not responsible for the fence and are just trying it on.

Big bullying bastards what they are.

Yanbu, if your parents agree see neighbours on their behalf or write a letter.

Your parents are under no obligation to replace the fence as they don't own the property and pp said they won't reap a benefit from cosmetic changes as they can't sell in future. Direct the neighbours to the landlord if they want recompense, they're CFs!

No way, they’re taking the piss.

No way should your parents pay a penny.

We recently replaced the fence between us and our elderly neighbour. However we gave her lots of notice in case it impacted any plants on her side and told her that we would be paying for it in full.

She was a bit of CF though because she asked if the "good side" could go on her side. Needless to say it did'nt.

Some people just try their luck.

Deeds don’t always say who own fences, ours don’t. We replaced our fence jointly with a neighbour after it blew down in a storm.

The difference with your situation is it needed doing and it was arranged together before discussion of payment.

So yes I would go round. If I was paying I’d want to know details before and have some input in choosing the product and builders fitting it. I would also only ever replace a fence if it needed doing.

They should have approached your parents before replacing the fence.

As PP's have said, this was a conversation that needed to take place in advance. We once considered replacing an ugly fence that bordered our neighbours' property (not actually sure who the fence belongs to), but we discussed it with them before doing anything. They didn't want to contribute and we eventually decided not to bother.

Our neighbours on the other side did the same thing when replacing a fence and the previous owners of our house did go halves with them - but again, everything was discussed in advance.

Just have a word with your parents' neighbours and explain that your elderly parents don't own the property and really can't contribute to the cost. Unless they're complete CF's, they'll understand and drop the subject.

If it is a HA house, can't you just say that the neighbours need to approach the HA about it?

When we moved into our family house as a child, my mum and dad asked both sets of neighbours if they would contribute towards a new garden fence. One side said yes, the other no ( both owned their homes) It didn't create any bad feelings as the neighbour that said no still lives there and gets on very well with my parents. They shouldn't have asked after the fact and I personally would not ask people who rent.

A Housing Assoc property? Refer it to the H.A.

The neighbours probably know The housing association won't agree to pay towards the fence ( which is probably why they have approached Op,s parents directly) my housing association have just replaced my very low fencing as a one off using their own company, and they only did this as it was a safety issue due to my severely autistic child constantly trying I climb the fences and we had to have an o occupational therapist assessment recommending it ( also took nearly a year)

Deal with the CF neighbours yourself. Tell them that if they want money paid towards it they have to ask the HA for it as they're the owners, not your parents. Drop in casually how nervous & confused being asked made your elderly frail parents feel, as they began to think they had to pay something when they have no money, getting by on just a little pension as they do.
Tell your parents that the CFs got it wrong.

Your mum, like mine, needs to learn that "fuck off" is a complete sentence.

@Tooner
Exactly how I would feel.
I would be very annoyed.