Parents next door neighbour asking for money towards new fence

[SunburstsOrMarbleHalls]

My mum and dad are in their 80's and live in a housing association house, they live on their state pension and don't have have any savings.

Their next door neighbours are a nice couple in their 30's who own their home and have made lots of improvements with a view to selling their property. As part of the improvements they have replaced their back garden fencing, this was more of a cosmetic improvement as previously the old fence was not broken or damaged but was about 10 years old.

Last week after the fence had been replaced the neighbour knocked on my parents door and asked if they would contribute £100 towards the new fence. The neighbour on the other side of their property who is currently in the process of purchasing their home of the local housing association has already agreed to pay £100. The person at the back of their property has not been asked to contribute as the neighbour has said they don't know them. My mum was a bit flustered and said she would have to discuss it with my dad and no further conversation has taken place.

I completely understand that it is common for neighbours to decide to share the cost for things such as this however my mum and dad really don't have the money. Mum feels really embarrassed at having to explain this to their neighbours. I have said she doesn't have to explain her decision and can just say no with no further details needed but she doesn't feel she can do this.

The neighbours will see a return on their investment when they sell their property but my mum and dad won't. The neighbours are aware that my mum and dad don't own their property.

Mum and dad are keen to keep a good neighbourly relationship and don't want their to be any animosity over this issue. At 86 my mum does tend to let things like this worry her and she is fretting that if she does not contribute it will cause some bad feeling.

I'm sure that the neighbours didn't mean to cause any issue but by knocking on my mum and dads door to ask directly for the money after the fence was already fitted it has placed my parents in an awkward situation.

WIBU to go and see the neighbours on my parents behalf and politely explain that my parents will not be contributing £100 or any other amount to their new fence?

My mum is in a HA property and has in the past been told (by the HA) that it’s her responsibility to maintain the fence to the left and rear. Right fence is neighbors responsibility in her particular case.

That aside, if there was nothing wrong with the old fence and the neighbors replaced purely for cosmetic reasons then of course your parents shouldn’t contribute towards it. Even if the fence had needed replacing, the discussion should have been had before it was replaced as to who was responsible and what it would be replaced with.

YANBU.

Yanbu. I’d be keen to nip this in the bud ASAP before your parents just pay out of shame.

Your poor parents, that's extremely cheek. I'd so go round and speak on their behalf. Nice and simple with no emotion, just a no, they won't pay and to no ask again. Fuck neighbour relations with them, they are selling up and moving on so it doesn't matter. Cant believe the cheek of them.

Yanbu definitely CFs

Hi, CFNeighbour. I understand you've asked my parents to contribute £100 towards your fence. If you think this is a shared cost between the owners then you need to contact the HA. I appreciate people of our generation are more comfortable talking about money but my parents are more reluctant. To avoid any awkwardness in future, could you contact me first please?

I was going to suggest you speak to the neighbours so I'm glad you thought of it. Yanbu to do that, your parents are elderly and shouldn't be worrying about this.

No CF. They chose to get the fence replaced (which wasn't broken). They pay for it.

If they wanted money towards it from neighbours they should have discussed it with your parents before putting the fence up.

We share a boundary the responsibility for the fence is ours the neighbours are adamant we are not to take down the rotting fence covered in bloody ivy. To keep the peace we have agreed so just painted it green but hacked back the hated ivy so we could paint. Who the heck wants an ivy covered fence.

Blimey, if he's got a job in the Middle East as a personal protection, he can afford fences for the whole street. CF.

of course yanu have you checked that your parents are claiming all the help they are entitled to?

I’d be keeping an extremely close eye on this. Billing elderly people for work not asked for, needed or done (properly) is a well known scam.

I wonder if you have a PCSO or a community police offer you could discuss your concerns with? Make sure it’s not something the neighbours are known for?

I’d also go and speak to the other neighbours. Has one paid it or is that just a ruse to get your parents to pay? It makes my spidey senses tingle that your elderly parents have been asked and not a younger man.

TBF, that ‘Oh he is away working in the Middle East’ sounds like a cover excuse for prison to me.

Worth noting that rules can be different over fences in different places - I've owned two ex HA properties, one in England and the one I live in now in NI. In England the boundaries were clearly defined on the deeds, in NI we are leasehold (v v common here) and there is no specification on the deeds as to who owns each boundary

To ask retrospectively isn't on.
If it was me, I was be nice, and apologetic that my budget couldn't cope with the unforeseen expense.

Blimey, if he's got a job in the Middle East as a personal protection, he can afford fences for the whole street. CF.

This is what makes me think he’s in prison and not the Middle East.

In your position I’d be straight round the neighbours’ to make absolutely clear all the points that have come out in this thread. I wouldn’t have my 86 year old Mum fretting about it. Height of cheek.

Get the housing authority involved - the area your parents live in will have a housing officer or neighbourhood manager responsible for it, and they should be able to reassure your parents.

The fence (if it's on your parents' land), may not be their responsibility to keep up, but the HA's, anyway. In which case you can tell the neighbours to chase the HA for the money and see how far they get.

You don’t own a boundary it it between to houses and although you may have responsibilities to that boundary you don’t have to place a fence up, you could put two pieces of wire if you so wished.

Ibiza2015 I really don't think it is a deliberate scam but just sheer thoughtlessness on behalf of the neighbours. I believe that they just have not realised how awkward this is for my mum and dad, they have probably just assumed that mum and dad have the money to contribute.

Female neighbour is a nurse and male neighbour is a decorated ex serviceman who was briefly mentioned in the newspaper for his numerous tours of duty in Afghanistan. He is frequently away with work and is very candid about his new career as a bodyguard.

Hopefully they can see this issue from my parents perspective and realise that they have been a bit cheeky.

Just refer neighbour to HA.

It doesn't matter about perspectives. It is legalities. Your parents do not own the house and are not responsible for the fence. That is what they pay rent for. Just refer them to the HA.

Who the heck wants an ivy covered fence

Me.

Wrens nest and feed in it.

NFW! Fucking chancers. 'You should have consulted our HA first if you wanted money. We don't own this property. You can try our landlord, but well, there you go.'

If your parents live in a housing association property then the HA will be responsible for the fence not your parents, so I’d direct the neighbours to them.

It depends on the HA Linnet. In our area the tenants are responsible for their own fences