Aibu on flight

[perroy]

I was on an plane today. Family of four were travelling. One child with father in the seat in front of me and mother with another child in the seat behind me. Children were shouting, beeping a fictitious horn, making motor noises all through the flight. The parents were tickling them and making them squeal with laughter. It was a plane full of children and this family was noisy throughout the flight. All the other children had settled down in some time.

After the fifth time the child with the mother had got up on his seat and squealed in my ear I turned around and said SSSh quiet to the child.

The mother used profanities, showed me the finger and told me her child was only two.

Was I wrong to address the child when the parents were not taking any efforts to settle the children?

I don't understand why a toddler can't be told off. Isn't it like training puppies? Particularly if they're being a fucking nuisance, then yeah, absolutely not unreasonable to tell them so. You weren't rude or anything, you didn't exactly say will you STFU you little shit, so what's the problem? The parents clearly lacked manners and weren't going to control their kids. Trust me if you didn't tell them off someday they've taught a lesson by someone else.

*would have been taught

Ok this is what OP says and maybe I am interpreting it differently

After the fifth time the child with the mother had got up on his seat and squealed in my ear I turned around and said SSSh quiet to the child.

To me, that reads like the toddler stood on his own chair and giggled. The OP complains about the giggling and says it is a squeal in her ear. I feel like OP is being over dramatic because if the child is standing on his chair, his face is not near OP's ear, she is exaggerating the scenario otherwise she never would have brought up giggling in the first place.

Now, I feel like the reaction from the mum was not right but maybe she felt scared. We don't know how abrasive and intimidating OP looked when she turned around. People are emotional creatures who panic irrationally, maybe the mum thought OP was going to do something to her son because she confronted him? I don't know. It's hard to say. I don't think swearing at OP was right as a response.

Some people are carrying on like the op screeched "shut up you noisy little fucker".

She just said shhh. That's all.

If your son reacted badly in public, I hope people would show you more sympathy than you are showing now rather than to publicly judge you.

Oh get over yourself! If I’m publicly judged for my child’s behaviour, it certainly won’t be because I’m sitting on my arse letting her do whatever the duck she wants. I will be attempting to manage her behaviour and that would be obvious to other people. In this case the mother was doing fuck all except encouraging her child to do whatever it wanted. Being the parent of a disabled child is difficult, but at least we TRY to lesson the impact on others.

I'm with you OP. Nobody wants to listen to your toddler or child folks, no matter how cute you think it is. Get some manners and raise your children not to be so antisocial.

Do you really think having a word with the mother would have had any different response?

I’d have shhhh’d you back if you’d done that to my 2 year old. For heaven sake, a child especially at 2 doesn’t have a mute button. I suggest you travel outside of school holidays with earplugs in future, oh and stop shhh-ing other people’s children. If you really can’t stand children have a polite word with the parent’s, maybe they could ask to seat the child on the wing?!

As usual more child-hating, mother-hating, sentiment in here than not. This is mumsnet, you know? Maybe we should cut each other some more slack and remember that it’s really hard looking after small children. And if you can’t relate, maybe think about whether this is the forum for you. Unless you’re just here to blow off some mother-hating steam...

I wonder how many of the bleeding hearts and the "they are only 2" brigade will be back here on the teens board complaining that their teenager does whatever they want and and they can't control them?

I this exact argument with a neighbour who's 4 year old thumped my DC (age 4.5) hard enough to leave a mark and broke a toy they had. She didn't think any discipline was required because he was "only 4" and my reply was, "yes, and next year he'll be 5 and the year after he'll be 6 and he'll still be hitting and breaking things because you aren't dealing with it" . Teenage child is now a nightmare and well known to the police - funny that.

S1naidSucks

But wouldn't it really suck if some people thought you were doing nothing when in fact you were using every tool you had to calm him down? But instead, they labelled you a bad mum and him a brat, rather than wanting to accept that some people's brains are wired differently? If they rolled their eyes, because their children never acted like that? The more we encourage people to be judgemental, the harder it is for people like us especially when some people don't even want to recognise that autism exists.

You could have asked to switch seats.

Making your child laugh so a plane journey is fun rather than scary can be a tall order.

however if you shushed my kids I'd karate chop you in the throat

And

And fwiw shush my child and you won't know what's hit you

^ And this is what's wrong with the world today. God help us.

I wouldn't expect a plane to be quiet or silent. It's not a library so I think YWBU to shush the child.

Goodness- what a revelation this thread is

@SleepIsForTheWeeak
Seriously? Travel outside the school holidays? So those without kids aren’t to travel in the summer so your brats can scream and misbehave? How about you teach your child to behave?

The OP clearly says in her original post that the child squealed in her ear five times.

And I cannot believe parents on here are saying they'd 'Shh' the OP back.

I this exact argument with a neighbour who's 4 year old thumped my DC (age 4.5) hard enough to leave a mark and broke a toy they had. She didn't think any discipline was required because he was "only 4" and my reply was, "yes, and next year he'll be 5 and the year after he'll be 6 and he'll still be hitting and breaking things because you aren't dealing with it" .

I just want to say that you are not wrong but it's really hard to "discipline" your child in front of people these days. I have said to my son before "we don't do that" and have brought up time out before to his nursery (after he bit someone), and we got this shocked face from the manager who told us they would never recommend putting a child in time out. I felt like I don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore... Parenting is such a minefield of judgment and reporting.

Siberian. My youngest just turned 18. Maybe people in general weren't so shy about it when I was raising mine. I don't have a problem with telling off DC in my street for things e.g. kicking a ball against the fence or car etc. It doesn't affect my relationships with my neighbours as I also happily treat the DC to stuff I come across in my house such as books and toys etc that my DC grew out off, loan them movies, pet sit, water plants etc. If a parent is about and tells their own DC off then fine, but if they aren't about or aren't taking any action, I don't see anything wrong in putting them straight. I wouldn't have had a problem with them doing the same to my child either. I'd rather someone told them off at the time than came to me telling stories.

But that is not what the poster said. In fact. It is the exact opposite. So a totally different scenario.

Ok, if I told you maybe a parent knew that their two year old child would have 2 settings on a flight like this:

1. Loud giggling without volume control (since the 2 year old doesn't understand volume control yet)
2. Shrieking and crying

Which option would you go with? Do you think it's not possible that loud giggling was the chosen path and that the parent was doing everything she could to keep the child laughing so path #2 would be avoided?

I suggest you travel outside of school holidays

Do 2 year olds go to school where you are from?