To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

What an understatement. That made me laugh out loud

Not read the whole thread, sorry, but from the first couple of pages I already think it was a bad idea to start this thread! I hope it hasn’t made you feel worse or scared, OP.

If it helps, I am the biggest wuss ever and didn’t have any pain relief, just me and my tens machine! They offered me gas and air when I was pushing and I said no way! Got this far on my own I’m not having anything now. All my friends say if I can cope anyone can.

I won’t lie it was hideous and I did ask DH to kill me at one point. BUT that was probably for an hour I felt like that max, and it’s only because everyone kept saying I had hours to go when actually I was ready to push! DD born after 20 mins of pushing and I actually loved that part, it was so satisfying and made all the pain have a purpose. I loved the feeling of her coming out. I wasn’t prepared for the placenta though that did feel weird, it was absolutely massive! But it’s over so quick and you have your shiny new baby to focus on.

Best of luck to you I hope the induction goes well x

You'll always get horror stories, but each pregnancy/labour is different. My first was fine, bit painful, lasted about 26 hours, slept through most, wet myself, a lot of vomiting, but not too bad, took 10 minutes to push him out and then I went back to sleep while they stitched me up and such.

Second baby was 6 hours, a lot more painful, no pain relief worked and I hate to admit, I cried like a little baby during the last hour.

You may have a quick, easy and not so painful labour or it might be bad. Just don't work yourself up about it.

Good luck

The good bit: my labour was fairly short, baby and I were healthy at the end, didn't need intervention like ventouse, though it got close.

The not so good: induced via drip, baby was back to back, epidural didn't work, baby got distressed during pushing, had to have episiotomy. MWs didn't realise I was dilating quickly, so looking back, I was being given an epidural when I was about to go into transition. Like a PP I had to beg to be examined again, and was fully dilated.

Not a fan, only did it once

I have a high pain threshold and I got induced, and those contractions made me act in a way I never thought I would.
I imagined myself as a proper earth mamma in labour. Ha ha ha.

Hehe me too I thought I would be a ‘breather’ but I made a lot of noise - it helped and made me feel better!

I was in slow labour for 3 days at home and I found it manageable with a tens machine and 500 baths and paracetamol I wanted the pain to get worse because I was desperate for it to be over. They ramped up a bit on day 3 and I realised day 3 evening that I'd not felt/recognised ds kick in 3 days as I'd been focusing on the contractions so we go in to the mat unit and ds heartbeat is dropping and he's not moving much so they try induction. omg! The difference in contractions was like night and day. They were more painful and fucking useless. Anyway I had a cat 1 emcs as his heartbeat kept dropping, I won't tell you the rest but he was born perfectly healthy.

From what I've learnt from friends and baby groups everyone seems to get pain/contractions in different places during labour. My sil had contractions in her back, her labour was 10 hours but the pain she described was nothing like mine, hers was continuous and she was in agony. Mine was more like a wave starting at period pain and increased up then dropped down, all in my abdomen. It was manageable because it didn't take me by surprise and I could prepare for the high point in it.

@whattodowith Thank you for the reply.

Has anyone pood in childbirth? Like, how do you NOT shit when pushing that hard? I fart a lot so worry one will slip out

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it.

It seems to be the women that lose control.

I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!). It seems to have a lot to do with your outlook and how scared you are. I've been practicing calming breathing techniques and hypnobirthing, and feel quite calm and will hopefully manage to remain in control of the process.

I'll come back after to report, hopefully I wont be eating my words!

The crowning of the head is a pain you will never forget..... The rest was OK with gas and air.

OP here is the thing -

1 labour is individual. Individual to the woman, to the position of the baby, to the birth canal through which the baby will pass, to the circumstances that arise at birth. No two experiences are the same.

1. You can attempt to stay calm, seek support and be prepared for a range of Circumstances - but the notion that you might control the actual circumstances is false. Of course it may turn out that the birth takes the exact form you intended - but that is unlikely to be because you succeeded in controlling the precise course of everything in Point 1 above.

1. There is very little, if any, value in catageorisong birth experiences into “horror stories” and “positive stories”. First, most births fall somewhere in the middle. Second, dividing up women into the two camps is not helpful as it often serves to shut up those who are deemed to have horror stories to tell, and it leads to non useful comparisons as to how positive your birth was.

1. Having done it once, and currently in the process of doing it again in a few months - my biggest lesson is: what will be, will be. I will, this time, be walking into labour without a birth plan. And I didn’t even have what one might call a horror story birth.

So, don’t compare and contrast. It is unknown. And beyond a point unpredictable.

@Vilanelle that was my first question after she was born 🤣 “did I shit myself” they laughed and said no actually you just got weed a lot! And I did because I hadn’t been able to go all day. Baby was blocking the way.

I had ventouse due to baby being back to back (only found out when I was pushing and her head kept coming and going back) and episiotomy and hardly felt both and my stitches were fine. It’s not always as horrific as people say. DH said Dd came out face up blinking like a little alien 😂

Mine was ok. I had to go in for induction because my waters broke 24 hours earlier but I had the pessary at 1pm and gave birth just before 8pm. Labour was about 3.5 hours and I managed with a Tens and a bit of gas and air. Nothing for pushing. I had a wee'un though, 5lb8oz. I don't want more but not because of the labour!

everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it.It seems to be the women that lose control.

Have you given birth before? Even if you have, so you truly believe you have evidence from every other birth you have known of - that labour and birth is down entirely to individual preparation and control? Do you genuinely think this is true? If so, I do not even know where to begin.

I had two emergency sections after 14 hour labours, believe me, they aren't the easy option. Plus they're very expensive, the NHS won't simply let someone elect for one without reason.

I did do hypnobirthing. Thought it was bunkum and hadn't worked but I found myself doing really helpful long slow breaths during transition. I didn't really feel the crowning and episiotomy.

I think you do sound naive.

People are different - the way they feel pain, the way their bodies react to labour, physiology.

Some people find labour easier to manage than others and bully for them.

You don't know how you'll react so hope you do have a good birth, genuinely.

But that doesn't mean people that have more challenges aren't valid to have those feelings about their experience. They don't need others telling them them they've failed, should have meditated, didn't manage well.

Do epidurals (when they work) completely take the pain away?

Yes. It’s a dream! With mine I had a button I could press every 15 minutes to top up so I was in control. Towards the end I didn’t press so I knew when to push, I felt a tiny sting but that’s it. I loved the pushing stage!

The pain can get absolutely horrendous, it’s a bit scary. Never felt pain like it but as others have said - it was totally worth it for the gorgeous little baby you get at the end of it. I’m about to do it again any day now, my 2nd is due 5th Sept. I feel a little nervous but also incredibly excited!
I wasn’t induced with my 1st but I had a really great birth (very lucky I know!) and I think a big part of that was due to being as relaxed as I could be and just going with the flow.
Good luck OP, you will be okay.

The most pain ever but I was induced and it was back to back. Never got to push as had c/s. Was all worth it in the end... I had planned c/s for no.2!!!

I gave birth with minimal pain relief (gas & air) and it was ok. But I had a rather short labour (waters broken at 4pm, daughter born at 9pm). I don't know what I would have done if it had gone on and on, like it was for some of my friends. It was very, very painful, don't get me wrong, but not the horrific experience some others describe. (Except for the internal tearing that the idiot doctor overlooked because he was flirting with the midwives - it meant that I lost a lot of blood, passed out a few times and had to be stitched up a second time. But by then I had my DD and didn't care much anymore.)

Interestingly enough, one of the midwives once asked me if I knew how my mother's labour was, as she had often observed that there were similarities between mothers and daughters. I have no idea if this is true, but it actually applied in my case. My mother always said she arrived at the hospital around midnight (four days overdue - my DD was three days over), had her waters broken and I was born at 4.15 am (so it was a little faster for her).

I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!). It seems to have a lot to do with your outlook and how scared you are.

Yeah, right. Have a baby in the back to back position with contractions 5 minutes apart for 24 hours. So painful that you can’t sit down. Then report back.

I think opinions like this will only set you up to fail if things don’t go to plan.

I can’t wait to get back to this once you’ve had the baby

MockersthefeMANist Fri 23-Aug-19 13:21:34
....Oh.

Sorry

Thought this was another Corbyn thread.

Exactly what I thought

@PuffsMummie hahaha! Yes please come back and let me know. I very nearly refused my induction and went home as I really didn't want that kind of intervention but you've got to make choices quickly and when you're looking at a heartbeat dropping on a screen you have no choice but to let go of the 'control'.

One of my nct group was doing the whole breathing thing and they managed to do it at home until she was 8cm! They took it a bit too far and had the baby more or less straight away when they got to the hospital but it worked for them. She is from a family of women who all seem to have very quick labours as well.

I have 2 kids my first was natural and my second was induced. I found being induced was worse as my body didnt have time for well anything, they broke my waters and 1.5 hours later he was in my arms.