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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

802 replies

Bumpingbumping · 23/08/2019 13:15

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

OP posts:
Hmmmbop · 30/08/2019 19:40

DungeonDweller but it's not the pain that kills them.

Hopefully OP has had her baby and knows now.

Blankiefan · 30/08/2019 19:43

It's 12 hours of your life and then you move on. They have some pretty good drugs.

I didn't have the best time but so be it. Meh...

hopelessatthinkingupusernames · 30/08/2019 19:51

I didn’t think my first was that bad, despite him getting stuck and ending up with forceps.

My second I was induced and he shot out in record speed. It was so fast it was actually really traumatic and I felt upset everytime I thought about it for weeks after (I don’t get upset easily and never thought I’d feel like that about birth when things rarely go to plan!).

Definitely be warned that induction can cause very intense and fast contractions. I had no idea and my hour long Labour was easily the worst hour of my life

Delatron · 30/08/2019 19:55

It’s not necessarily 12 hours of your life? That would be a good outcome. It can be days. And yes a few hours of pain is much more bearable than 40 hours. And back to back labours (I’ve had 2 despite doing all the sodding yoga and ‘active birth’ shit) are far more painful.

It’s different for everyone but I wish I had known how bad the pain would be, like my stomach being ripped out for 40 hours, then I would have gone for an epidural. Nothing to do with pain threshold and everything to do with luck. So hopefully you’ll be one of lucky ones!

Louiselouie0890 · 30/08/2019 19:59

I'd avoid an induction like the plague. My second I went naturally and I'd definitely it all again, I enjoyed it

blahblahblahblahhh · 30/08/2019 20:00

Completely honestly my labour which was an induction was absolutely fine. Just had gas and air.
Yes it did hurt but no where near what I thought it would and mine was 9lb!

Inkstainedmags · 30/08/2019 20:00

It's 12 hours of your life and then you move on.

Or 32 hours and 6 weeks to recover from an emergency c-section but sure.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 30/08/2019 20:02

It's 12 hours of your life and then you move on. They have some pretty good drugs.

75 hours of dc1 trying to rip his way through my sciatic nerve...and whilst they might have good drugs, they wouldn't give me any. I was fully dilated before I got a working epidural and even then it didn't take all the pain away. They put me on the drip for the last 12 hours and warned me that the contractions might get more painful. They didn't even when it was turned to full so 75 hours worth of agony with the added bonus I could barely walk because each contraction went to my thigh muscles after my back and locked them up.

4 and a half years and another child later I still have nightmares about his delivery.

Gottoloveabagel · 30/08/2019 20:10

Breaking my elbow was more painful than giving birth! It hurt but was ok for me. All births are different. I loved being pregnant and giving birth!

ohnoitsnot · 30/08/2019 20:12

I loved (almost ) every second of labour . Have had worse toothache ! To be fair I was off my tits on pethadine for the first but nothing at all for the second . I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I have a conspiracy theory that (most not all) labours are pretty enjoyable but it's not talked about as it can always be used as a one up to men .

FumingMrsJustice · 30/08/2019 20:16

have a conspiracy theory that (most not all) labours are pretty enjoyable but it's not talked about as it can always be used as a one up to men

That’s quite a disrespectful theory that makes most women sound like liars and their pain dismissed.

You think PTSD is also a tool to manipulate men?

Attitude like yours are so undermining to women its insulting.

I hardly believe what I’m reading.

Delatron · 30/08/2019 20:23

So 75% of this thread are making up the pain? Yeah right. Enjoyable! I’d have shot myself in the head if there’d have been a gun to hand....

Delatron · 30/08/2019 20:25

There’s always an air of supremacy (mainly) from those that have easy labours. Like they have higher pain thresholds, prepared better, did the hypno birthing so it must be that...It’s pure luck.

Aroundnabout1 · 30/08/2019 20:32

I was so scared about the birth. I was induced. The pain was horrible (groaning louuud groans type of pain) until I had an epidural and it was miraculous when the pain went. I sat and watched Corrie and had nice chats. Contractions were like a mild period pain after that, but I think I was one of the lucky ones where the birth experience was ok.

Aroundnabout1 · 30/08/2019 20:34

*contractions were like mild period pain because of the epidural btw.

Longlongsummer · 30/08/2019 20:35

I have a very high pain threshold. I’ve friends who can’t take a headache or cut on the hand and yet their labours were reportedly not that bad.

Everyone is different.

As I said I’ve a high pain threshold but my labour was unbearable. It went on for hours. I felt like I was getting hit by a truck. I couldn’t sleep or eat for nearly 3 days. I was vomiting. I couldn’t lie down with the pain it was so bad I had to pace about.

Sorry OP. Truly hope you aren’t like me!

It’s a serious business though, for most of us.

If you are one of the ones who has bad period pains, count yourself extraordinarily lucky.

Aroundnabout1 · 30/08/2019 20:38

Can I ask why everyone doesn't request an epidural when they are so great? (Honest question).

Longlongsummer · 30/08/2019 20:40

They carry a risk and can slow down labour.

Many do get them though. I don’t blame them. I did get one, after being told I basically really had to, the pain was so bad and I was being very intensively induced and back to back labour.

Amyheadache · 30/08/2019 20:40

I was lucky to have very quick labours. Sure they did hurt but I can for the life of me bring back any negative emotions. It’s magical x

elliejjtiny · 30/08/2019 20:51

@Aroundnabout1 they can slow labour down and make tearing more likely. Personally I didn't like not being able to feel my bottom half. Felt like I was being held down which really scared me. The next time I had the induction drip without pain relief for a couple of hours and then gas and air. There was no way I was having an epidural.

Sadie789 · 30/08/2019 20:51

Having watched young family members battle severe, prolonged pain and illness with quiet dignity it does grate a little with me when [some] women make a song and dance out of labour.

Thing is, it’s gradual. It doesn’t just strike you down out of nowhere with eyeball popping pain. It builds up slowly over time and each contraction that you get through you know you can do it, and you know the next one will be similar but one notch up.

I know [some] women have complications and it can become traumatic in some cases but by and large it’s a biological process the body has been designed for, and therefore can cope with, and modern medicine has eased things further with drugs and other pain relief options.

I know this is an unpopular view and maybe I have a high pain threshold, but some people (who didn’t nearly die) really do dine out on their “I nearly died” birth stories for years after.

TowerRavenSeven · 30/08/2019 21:00

Everyone is different just like everything else. Just don’t listen to horror stories. I had one crazy coworker (no kids) that started to tell me horror stories. I previously had a miscarriage and didn’t need more stress by this loon. I told her loudly to Stop It or I was leaving the room. Of course she continued. I got up and left and returned 20 minutes later (I was training her). She kept her hole shut after that.

BottomleyPottsSpots2 · 30/08/2019 21:04

My OH is a GP and he's described to me the sort of pain experienced by people with end-stage cancer and similar conditions.

It puts my experience of labour pain in some context - it is the most pain I've ever been in, but I know logically that labour is unlikely to be the most pain a human can experience. However obviously everyone's experience will differ and I am currently planning my 4th birth (the last 2 have been without any pain relief by choice) so completely accept that labour hurts more for some people than others.

Onlythelonelywelcome · 30/08/2019 21:14

Can I ask why everyone doesn't request an epidural when they are so great?
I don’t know this either. I knew I wanted an epidural from when I found out I was pregnant.

SewingWarriorQueen76 · 30/08/2019 21:16

I had to be transported fully dilated with no pain relief for a further 2 hours of excruciating pain. I genuinely thought I was going to die.

I purposely never tell first time mums the extent of my issues as its different for every one but it is not a walk in the park.
Never did it again and can only remember lying there afterwards, not thinking is my baby OK but "Thank fuck I'm not dead"