To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

I didn’t find it that bad at all actually. I had quick labours at home with some minimal tearing that healed well. I was out of the house within a few days. The contractions were uncomfortable but I could manage with gas and air. I don’t want any more than 2 children but it’s not because of the labour. However, everyone’s different and birth is very individual.

Wait until you need to poo afterwards. I heard it christened as 'Tentative Terror' once. Yep, sums it up.

As for 'opt for a c section' used to insinuate that's easier. Until you've had one, you don't get an opinion, sorry. It's major abdominal surgery. No driving for six weeks, barely walking for at least three. A cocktail of drugs. Permanent scar...

Source: failed induction, failed epidural (twice) and eventual EMCS (with spinal block because apparently 2 epidurals are the max) with DC1. DC2 was an elective section only because the consultant scared the hell out of me and told me that I wouldn't be able to have the water birth I hoped for and could well end up on the induction drip of doom again. I'd sooner claw my own abdomen open with a spoon that go near that drip again.

Good luck OP. I genuinely do hope it goes smoothly for you.

I'm not gloating but I too was worried, it's normal.
Ds1 in labour 2 hours, had more pain at the hairdressers.
Ds2 labour 1.5 hours, even less pain, but had to have manual placenta
removal.
DD 30 mins, was already at the hospital.

I have friends who had horrendous times and went on to have more. My dil had a bad time and they plan on trying for no2.

It's a strange feeling but you can cope with so much when you have a beautiful baby at the end.

Hope it goes well, Good luck. x

People’s experiences are different.
During labour, I honestly wished for death. But stitches were a total non-event.
Other people say stitches are worse than labour!

I found both my labours empowering. It felt natural and I felt in control. I'm lucky but it really can happen.

I felt exactly the same as you after hearing nothing but terrible stories all the time.
It IS painful but I didn’t find it was as bad as people had said.

I think it is really bad that people can’t wait to tell pregnant ladies how awful it is, the most body splitting pain ever, etc etc. This not true - don’t listen to them.

For this reason I always make sure that I tell mums to be (only when asked), that it’s nothing to be afraid of (fear is so bad for their minds, bodies and can pass negativity to the baby). That it definitely wasn’t as awful as i was led to believe and of course so many people do it multiple times that it really isn’t so bad.

Last, but positively not least, look at the amazing outcome. Your gorgeous baby, who is worth any amount of your discomfort ever.

Many congratulations to you, try to enjoy your last few days without worrying about the birth.

It fills like someone is ripping open your vagina soooooo yeah

Personally, I had one labor induced and one started naturally. I thought induction contractions were much worse than natural ones. Take the epidural.

When I saw the title of your thread, I thought it was going to be about the political party Labour ... now that’s a totally different response.

Not going lie OP, first induction wasn't pleasant by all accounts.

However, I look back fondly on all of my three inductions. Child birth is a wonderful thing.

That said, don't be a hero OP, take any pain relief on offer!

The people that had bad labours tend to want to talk about it understandably. I think those of us that had ok births feel like we can only talk about them in private .
The first few posts saying ‘ birth is horrific’ are typical of what you hear in public. I think there all kinds. I was prepared for the worst , 24 hour labour etc but then it was time to push after a couple of hours of contractions . I could bear the pain , like bad period pains except not constant so you could get some relief. So much better than I thought .

It might be horrendous or it might be easy - there’s no way of knowing until it happens because it depends on so many things (position and size of baby, size of mother’s pelvis, etc, etc).

For what it’s worth, my two were fine. The second in particular was very easy and almost no pain at all. Walked to the hospital while having contractions, was 8cm dilated when I arrived and out popped baby about 1.5 hours later. Very little pain from contractions, no screaming or shouting and was able to chat to the doctor and midwife throughout. I hope you have a similarly easy birth. Spend the next ten days walking as much as you can to get the baby in the right position and the rest is down to luck.

I thought the prospect of labour seemed completely variable, running the gamut from (a)not so bad, straightforward recovery to (b) completely horrific with long-lasting damage.

I thought the odds were more likely that you’d have an experience closer to (a) than (b) but that if the gamble didn’t pay off, an experience more like (b) could have devastating consequences. Accordingly I went private and had two elective C sections, both really positive experiences, no side effects, quick recovery, pretty much zero pain.

The right decision for me, almost certainly overly cautious in terms of the risks of labour, but the only way I could guarantee avoiding forceps or an emergency c section was to have an elective CS! Plus I had hideous pregnancies with hyperemesis/SPD which coloured my decision.

Two years post and my PTSD is still rife. Therapy is useless in my case. Good luck, OP!

If it helps - an older friend who used to be a midwife told me they were taught that when they had to do an episiotomy, if there was no time to sort out pain relief, they would try to aim to cut on the peak of the contraction "wave", as the woman was already in so much pain, it wouldn't register as much. So there you have it, it hurts to the level that someone taking a pair of scissors to your fanjo wont register, due to the pain you are already in.

I was going to post this exact thing - I had an episiotomy without pain relief but as it was at the height of contraction I had no pain relief for it. That how much a baby crowning hurts. The 24 hours of excruciating pain and exhaustion that led to that moment weren’t much fun either.

DCs 2 and 3 were fine though, reasonably quick, home births, the usual amount of intense agony but only for a few hours. DS had paved the way so DD pretty much just fell out

I love how people are saying they had “some tearing but it wasn’t that bad”. Can you imagine a bloke having “some tearing” to his ball sack and thinking “it’s not that bad, certainly nothing to moan about”?!

Women are fucking legends.

My first labour was long and slow and I was very chilled out, obviously it was painful but as far as labours go, it was quite enjoyable. I felt really in control as it was so paced and slow. So I was excited to give birth to my second baby as my first was such a positive experience. Well, my second labour was a hell of a lot faster (established labour was just over two hours) it was so much more painful, the contractions were so much more intense and I was just so uncomfortable and felt really out of control. If it was my first baby it would have put me off doing it again I think!

One back to back baby induced and then c section - pretty horrendous but mostly because the people around me were idiots.

Twin birth with second twin breech - no pain relief and the worst bit was at what I thought was the ‘beginning’ of labour - I had a contraction that was painful and thought ‘oh - if this is the beginning how much worse is it going to get’ - turned out I was already 8cm and pretty much ready to go.

So dependent on circumstance!

It’s not that bad. If you’ve got a good team of professionals around you or on the ward (inc obs midwives but also doctors, consultants, anaesthetists etc) they can deal with any possible scenario quickly and calmly, no matter what transpires. Just take it moment by moment, ask for help when you need it and believe in yourself! X

It's different for everyone and for each baby.

Personally it wasn't that bad and I don't think I've ever felt as intensely the pure joy and love I felt when each of mine was born.

I had water births which I think helped.

Take it as it comes and best of luck.

Yeah... you don’t get to just “opt for a c-section” on the NHS. You can request one, but they can turn you down if they don’t feel you really need it. And given that c-sections cost more than natural births, you can imagine how few women get to “opt” for one.

30to50FeralHogs This is the sort of analogy I used to describe to my DH the reasons why I refuse all vaginal examinations during my births!!
So they say passing a kidney stone is the closest thing to labour pain that a man can relate to right?
I told my DH “So imagine you are passing a massive kidney stone with no pain relief, and then a doctor just strolls in and rams a couple of finger up your arse....” that’s what a vaginal examination during labour is like. (Well it was for me with DC1. And is why I had DC2 without a single examination, and plan to do the same for DC3.)

Wheresmrlion

so the midwives don’t belittle you

Eh? If you’ve had a midwife belittle you then I’m sorry but you can’t make out like it’s commonplace. Midwives do a fantastic job as a whole and I actually find it a little offensive almost the hard time the profession gets on here.

It's not as bad as I was expecting. Bearable 'period like' pain. I didn't even realise I was in full labour (husband said it should hurt more!) and left it until 20 mins before giving birth to arrive at hospital. No time for any pain relief. The worst bit was the stitches afterward...and oddly enough how rough I felt for a month or two post delivery. But the burth(s) themselves were totally bearable.