To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Hi Op - you have 10 days to go. The very best you can do for yourself is not to read the horrific stories and concentrate on staying as calm and relaxed as you can. You will be taken care of. Drugs if it all gets too much and a comfy bed. Tea / toast. And your beautiful baby to hold. 🙏

😂 Yes it's that bad and that's coming from someone who's had 2 very straight forward births, one pretty long one but still no complications and the second one basically fell out.
You will be fine though, that baby is coming out one way or another so no point worrying about it.
You don't forget the pain, it's just worth it.

Sorry, I'm normally the one who keeps my lips shut and smiles when people talk about labour so as not to seem like the uncaring one scaring pregnant women. Yes it is that bad. Induction is a gazillion times worse. Sorry but you asked. Start practising coping mechanisms now. Hynobirthing audiobook was a life saver for me during second labour back to back...

I think you will be fine. I was induced and the birth was then quicker. Pethidine ( I didn't like that much,) and gas and air ( I loved that and didn't want to give it up). If you have a painful accident, you have nothing to show for it, but after labour you have your gorgeous baby. Just think, in 3 weeks time you are a mum with a week old baby!

@IABUQueen

Ok so I only feel traumatised by almost dying because I didn’t take hypnobirth classes. Makes sense.

It’s bad . But it’s worth it . And you know it’s worth it because ppl do do it again .
You need the people who love you on stand by to give u strength . But the feeling of achievement and elation when your child is born , the relief and the peace is simply amazing . As soon as you give birth you are exhilarated ( and tired ) . You will know what I mean. But yes. Labour itself is very tough .

A lot of births go just fine. Just ask for pain relief if you want it. Nobody cares about your birth choices except one or two arrogant know-it-betters. Those are the people that you don't want in your life anyway.

It's a total lottery. It depends on so many random factors:
Position of baby.
Build of mother and baby.
Who is on shift and how busy they are and able to respond to your needs.
Energy level- long labours are draining
Time and frequency of contrations (too intense, and escalating rapidly makes it hard to mentally adjust; this is a common issue for induction and why they have a poor reputation. Rapid labours can also be traumatic as you don't get chance to process the situation)
Reactions to pain relief.
Your general state of health.
Complications that arise during labour/ birth.

etc

I got unlucky first time: heaving ward, long overnight labour, already beyond fucking knackered before 40 hours of contractions and 2 hours of pushing before EMCS and stay in HDU for complications because SPD and carpal tunnel syndrome had me immobile for months and waking hourly with dead limbs, pins and needles and chronic pain long before labour started. I'm small, baby had a big knobbly head and was in back to back. Reacted poorly to the pethadine which locked me into the pain so that I couldn't ask for anything helpful like an epidural.
I did hypnobirthing and that was helpful until my waters were broken and contractions went through the roof. Preparing with birth preferences/ plans and hypnobirthing etc have their uses, but if anything goes tits up, it all goes out of the window.

Second time was better. Shame about the remnants of my pelvic floor, but it was shorter, and at least he could be forcibly extracted from the main exit after all that effort. Borderline whether I'd go through the actual labour part of that one or the period pain og August 1999 again... the gas and air in a hospital is better than collapsing on a filthy stockroom floor at work and waiting for mefenamic acid to kick in. I never want to be sitting on frozen sweetcorn for a month again, and the forceps trashed my SPD leaving me crawling upstairs weeks later and struggling to walk for months after. It was much more painful than the EMCS recovery which merely left me too weak to carry baby for weeks.

The problem is you can only tell your own birth story. Mine aren't horror stories, just the experiences I went through to bring my babies into the world. Silencing the difficult ones, or the easy, sneezed baby out type stories does no one any favours. We need to be honest that experiences of labour and birth are very diverse.

It really is luck.

OP, what is the worse pain that you have suffered so far? Maybe that will help gauge your tolerance?

I found it incredibly painful, I've never known anything like it. That said, I've got friends who didn't find it that bad. As a PP said, it's a lottery. My advice? - If your hospital offers diamorphine, take it.

Well yes, it's not ideal that's for sure. Take all the painkillers they offer (whatever you put on your birth plan one fine day when you weren't in labour) and focus on the end result.

Labour is hell!!!! ....But your body produces happy hormones at the birth, and a beautiful baby pops out to make it all worth while! Plus you forget the intensity of it, that's why people have more.

It is really bloody painful though and one hell of an experience! You'll never be the same again :)

But it's worth it

Fucking awful. Absolutely worth it.

If I had a gun I’d have shot myself.

It is bad, but totally worth it.

C section isn't an easy option either.

Have all the drugs. Good luck!

It is an incredible pain, but in an uncomplicated labour you get breaks between the pain. There is always the option of pain relief so it is definitely not something to get unduly worried about-fear exacerbates pain.

When my friends get pregnant for the first time I always tell them fiercely ‘take the drugs’. It’s the kindest, most useful piece of advice I can offer anyone, and I wish I hadn’t been so pigheaded with my first wanting to do it naturally and believing all the ‘mind over matter’ shit.

Take the drugs OP, they are there to help and make it a calm, bearable experience, and also stop you getting worn out.

Whatever your experience the lovely baby at the end is an indescribable joy, its totally worth it...

I assumed I could do a water birth. Tried it. No drugs. Forst 12 hours were fine. Next 8 were hell. Finally I got so stressed from the pain I tried pushing despite not being fully dilated. 40 minutes of pushing almost continuously, popping all the blood vessels in my eyes from straining so hard... I actually felt myself tearing from vagina to anus all the way up to the womb. I crapped that baby out and it was the worst pain I ever felt. Afterwards I was pretty shocked to find a) contrsctions don't end just because you gave birth already b) 4th degree tears cause loads of bleeding and require hours in surgery. My all natural drug free birth gave me ptsd and ended in an epidural and surgery. The damage it caused made sex hirt for a full year and meant I needed csections for my later babies. The stress it gave me caused pnd for my next child.

Everyone's dtory is different and everyone's story is valid. If you are one of the "20 mins and done" births, good for you. I ak genuinely happy some woman uave this experience. But it doesn't mean other women are lying when they say it was traumatic and agonizing.

My advice after 3 children? Take the meds. It didn't cause any negative impact on my csection babies and my sister gave birth and was able to sleep during labour and even just not push to let the baby travel down the birth canal because the epidural worked so well. Much better experience so she will be less scared for number 2.

Good luck. It is all worth it, whatever your story is. You will feel something you never felt before.

Unbelievable and excruciating pain. Like no other. And it's not just the labour, but the recovery, the stitches, the blood loss, the walking around like John Wayne.

Not to mention the things that can/do go wrong.

People who know you shouldn't really be giving you horror stories so close to giving birth, but neither should you assume it can't be that bad.

It is that bad. I wanted to die the pain was so awful.

BUT. Glad all done and dusted, 3 kids, very happy, but even happier because I will never have to go through that ever again.

Even if you get through it without issue (which I hope you do) don't assume it's the same for everyone.

Oh, and no breaks in-between pain for me. Back to back contractions from start to finish.

Can only echo what other people have said, it’s a lottery. I had two quick and painful births but managed with gas and air, one long but lovely birth with no pain relief and one that I nearly didn’t survive; which was horrifically painful and left me with life long physical after effects and PTSD. The standard of care I received, I think, directly correlates to my experiences.

Embrace the experience as a positive, go into it with no preconceived ideas about how it will or won’t be (babies haven’t read the birth plan). If you need pain relief, ask for it and remember to breathe. Good Luck for your delivery day

As above, everyone’s story & everyone’s labour is different - I was induced & severely could not cope with the frequency & severity of contractions & it all went downhill fast but the baby was fine. My mum was in labour for under an hour, waters broke on the toilet, barely any pain & pushed me out 20 mins after being admitted to the ward - not a bruise or stitch or problem. For me, I thought I was dying & if it wasn’t for the brilliant doctors & midwives we both would have, so it’s different for everyone

My labour was pretty terrible - prem, major stress, forceps, big episiotomy...but I honestly don’t think it was THAT bad.

The aftermath on the other hand...no one ever talks about that bit when your milk comes in and you have boobs like rocks with hot needles, and down below your insides are threatening to be on the outside and you can’t sit down without a sharp intake of breath for several weeks!

@IABUQueen

Ok so I only feel traumatised by almost dying because I didn’t take hypnobirth classes. Makes sense.

I don’t remember saying that?!

I clearly stated there are experiences that cannot just be managed by mentally preparing yourself..

I’m here to reply to OP who clearly stated in the first line that she wasn’t referring to complicated births with exceptional circumstances.

I was induced, and had a terrible moment of feeling I surrender to death.. but the mental preparation definately were a great help. And the OP was asking about induced normal births..

Not personal to you I’m afraid! Though I’m sorry you took it that way

First labour was the worst experience of my life.

Second labour (induction) was the best experience of my life. Because I had an epidural before it got too horrific. And I was much more assertive with the midwives who treated me much better second time round.

My advice to everyone now is ignore the NCT breathe it out crap and take the epidural. They exist because labour fucking hurts. And put on at least an air of strong confident woman so the midwives don’t belittle you.

The waiting game is the worst bit, the anticipation of the unknown is so stressful. Soon your baby will be here one way or another and I wish you all the best (take the drugs!!)

I think it's very individual and based on too many factors to call it. I was relatively lucky imo - short sharp shocks, painful but over relatively quickly. I would have struggled if it had gone on for more than a few hours. Others will feel different. The only thing you can be confident of is that the baby will do what it wants to do, irrespective of your plans etc!