To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Love it, below this thread right now is another that says 'my children have sucked the life out of me'.

Good luck op

The gas and air doesn't take away the pain but gives you a 'ah fuck it' feeling

It is amazing stuff. They forgot to take it off me after they finished pressing my belly which was good because I was still hurting a lot so I was sucking hard on it but with no contractions to pace me I was out of it and kept drifting off into dreams and they realised when I suddenly asked where the baby was and told them about my dreams.

Haha thank you @Milicentbystander72 phew I was worried then that people would think it was me 😂

As someone who hasn't yet been through labour I am in AWE of all of you who have and think you're brave and powerful.

Glad other people think that post was utterly ridiculous too!

People who belittle other people's pain and tell them they caused it? Dickheads.

People who belittle other people's pain and tell them they caused it when they haven't actually done it themselves yet? Massive dickheads!

1st labour was a total serene relaxed mostly pain free 12 hours from the first twing. I had a bit of gas and air. I honestly can say I had no pain. It was spontaneous labour. I did however have a 3rd degree tear and lost 800ml but still the stitching up was all done while numb so felt nothing.

However baby 2 flip that hurt! It was a longer early labour and then just went really intense. They didn’t think I was far enough along as contractions were spaced out when I arrived at the hospital. Left me in the corridor for 10 minutes. By the time I was examined I was already 7cm. Baby arrived 50 minutes after we arrived. They also made me birth on my back (1st time I kneeled) and slowly because of the previous tear and that hurt like hell! Got no gas & air as just too quick.

So it’s possible to have a calm fairly pain free birth but it does seem the exception!

Good luck! You will be fine. And it’s totally worth it!

It isn’t so bad (I had one with gas and air) but it is like a hurricane moving through your body for 72 hours (my experience)
It was painful but psychologically you know that the pain doesn’t indicate that somethings untoward and you’re also SO excited to meet your baby that you tolerate it.
It’s intense though (understatement!)

Seconding PP about induction contractions. I thought I had a pretty high threshold for pain but those contractions were off the chart. And no break in-between them either, it went from zero to 100 in minutes

Ended up having an emergency c-section though, had a contraction on the bed whilst they were sticking the needle into my back and I had to keep very still. That was the absolute worse..... once I was numb it was blissful! C-sections are great for whipping the baby out, but the recovery period afterwards takes so much longer.

I wish you all the best for your upcoming birth, it's totally worth all the trouble in the end :) (she says as she is collapsed on the couch after chasing an over-excited 16 month old around the house)

It was awfully painful but so amazing!
I’d do it again in a heartbeat ( obvs with drugs) but would even be a surrogate!!
It’s amazing

Oh bless you, good luck, hope it goes well. Some people do have a wonderful experience, I hope you do too.

I was in labour for 48 hours with my first, 40 hours of it was 'slow' labour, 8 hours in established labour I think. I had a third degree tear which they had to stitch under a spinal anesthetic.

My second was a lot shorter, I think I was in labour 5 hours with him, 1 hour in established, well, went from ready to push to giving birth in an hour, that was the scary one, as I had a monitor on me as his heartrate dipped with every contraction, and also had a drip in my arm as I needed fluids. 2nd degree tear with that one which I can't remember all that well, but I do recall even with local anesthetic was quite painful.

Third labour, even shorter, natch, went into hospital at 2am, for reduced movements, sat on monitor for an hour. Given a quick sweep, sent home, I was back at about 8:30am ish, gave birth by 9:30am.
Tore again (!) 2nd degree, but oh my lord, I had two full syringes of local anesthetic, and it still hurt, I remember screaming and cursing the poor nurse stitching me up, it was extra painful as I was told I had tore through my clitoris. Not fun.

Buuut you get a lovely squishy baby at the end of it, so there is that!

I know people are gonna flame me for being so graphic, but I wish someone had warned me just how bad it can be before I had any of my children! I walked in to hospital having my first knowing absolutely nothing, I thought I was just going to hold baby to my breast and they would latch on, it would be beautiful and they'd feed like a dream when the reality is so much different in some women (not all! I know! I'm one of the very few awkward ones!)

I came here thinking it was going to be a 'oh Jeremy Corbyn' thread ,but it's 'oh get the baby out' thread. Any parallels?

I do think it’s incredibly naive to say it can’t possibly be as bad as people make out, some poor women have awful experiences. Of course it’s vastly different from woman to woman.

Personally, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I got through most of my early contractions without realising that’s what they were, I quickly got to every 15 minutes the next day, then a brief walk got me to 3 in 10 minutes. Silent breathing through them helped and whilst it was bloody painful (like a vice around my hips and thighs is what I remember thinking), 7 hours of gas and air, bouncing on a birthing ball, and getting in and out of the birthing pool, and she arrived pretty easily!

My partner was amazing, really talked me through it, which I think helped, and I was very lucky to not tear at all. I don’t even remember pushing hurting at all to be honest. I did bleed a lot afterwards and definitely think I wasn’t 100% conscious for a bit, but I was very lucky to have it all go smoothly.

But that’s only my experience, I think whilst a positive attitude and confidence that you’ve got this is good, I would have a think about how you’ll react if things don’t go exactly to plan. Holding on to a rigid idea of how it’s supposed to go won’t make coping with anything unexpected very easy on you.

Good luck, I hope you find it’s a breeze!

Prep your DP for you shouting 'get used to being fucking celibate, I'm not doing this again you smug bastard'.
Apparently it causes hurtyfeels

I've had 3, the first was really slow to start which made it quite prolonged, the second two were really quick and intense- both back to back labours with baby delivered within 3 hours of first contraction and no pain relief.

They were all fine. Totally fine. The key is staying focussed, not panicking, trusting your body and mentally regrouping between contractions. It feels a lot worse if you let yourself panic, but if you can stay mentally in control it can be amazing and empowering experience.

I was more nervous first time and went for a midwife led unit, but actually having done it once gave the confidence that it really isn't that bad, I didn't need the hard drug options and I had the next two at home.

It wasn't exactly a comfortable experience but it was perfectly doable if you see what I mean.

Good luck with it! Maybe look at hypnobirthing (courses or even just online) and try not to focus on the negative stories.

I have to say I never filled in my birth plan because there really isn't any point. By baby number 4 (same midwife) she didn't even bother asking me because we both knew what will happen will happen. You can't plan your birth. A lot of women don't even get the choice of an epidural let alone any other pain relief. I've had 4 as per my previous post and have never been asked if I wanted any pain relief... Luckily I have a high pain threshold. I also laboured on my own for most of them. DH missed the first birth. Midwife said he could go home as I would be ages yet. DS was born 20 minutes later...
Ds2 I told him to go because just watching him was annoying. I had to be induced as contractions stopped but ds2 was born 4 hours after induction.
Dd1 home birth as we wanted. All fine. 8 hours and by far was the easiest but I was really relaxed at home. DH down stairs with kids. I went upstairs with midwife.
Ds2 same as ds2 had to be induced. DH dropped me off and went out with kids. I was induced. Ds2 born 1 hour later active labour was 20 minutes. I told them it would be quick. They didn't believe me. I nearly gave birth in the corridor.anaged to get to the room. I said to the midwife she will be out in a minute. She said mmmhmmm writing looked and said omg and had to catch her.

So be prepared for them not to listen. Your DH is your voice. Unless your are loud like me in that case you won't need him... Haha

Still wouldn't say it was bad for me. But I was lucky and have a high pain threshold. Everyone is different

A trauma and pain i will never forget.

Second time around I opted for a C-Section. Bliss.

OP good luck.

Depends if your darling baby comes out with it's arm up by the side of its head (like superman) - thanks DS!

See I surprised myself during labour and didn't get all sweary - despite being the first one to shout FFS at the slightest opportunity, I was all ' please DH don't do that, it's not helping'. "No I'm fine, leave me alone please' ' no I don't want to hear any of the lovely soothing music we chose together. thank you'. I was clearly not myself at the time

It's a bit like running a marathon or climbing a mountain, hellish at the time but you get a huge rush after. You can remember it was horrendous but can't remember the exact combination of feelings that made it so horrendous!

The contractions are pretty crazy, I don't think I would personally compare them to period pains, but on the other hand you have no sense of time and you'll be amazed at what your body can do, everything just comes naturally you just know what to do! I was in labour for 11 hours and it felt like it went quite fast really. I wouldnt listen to what other people say, just scare mongering that's all I got throughout my pregnancy. You'll just go with the flow, good luck! Xx

I didn't find either horrific. I wasn't scared either time. I loved giving birth and remember it fondly.

Everyone is different though.

What @tfoot75 said. The rush of adrenaline makes you forget completely. I had 2 easy births with g&a, if I thought I could hack the toddler years I would do it again!

The poster who said its women that loose control that get the pain,

I'm interested in why you feel that or how you have come to that conclusion.
I find it concerning because there was an nct lady going on about candles and stuff and making it seem like a candle flickering could change a baby who turned and became stuck mid labour, or one whose shoulder got in the way, or the scent from a candle would un wrap a cord from a babies neck etc.

It's bloody luck. My first labour was technically amazing, 6 hours, incredibly rare the mw said, no stitches.

I felt very calm because there was no where else to go, I was massaged... Had scents.

Gas and air.

It still hurt like being strapped into a chair and physically tortured. The pain was like nothing I could have imagined it to be I belive it's compared to breaking most bones in the body??

Whoever tries to blame women for Labour not going straight forward should be utterly ashamed.
We are animals. Our body takes over its nothing to do with us. It's bloody luck.

Mine was straight forward but so long and painful that I have never forgotten it and couldn't face a second birth, hence one child. Genuinely the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

Unlike any other pain, labour pain results in a very positive outcome. It’s very painful, but at the end of it all there is a real, new human. Your own baby to love, care for and endure many months lack of sleep for... and it’s all totally worth it.