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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

802 replies

Bumpingbumping · 23/08/2019 13:15

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

OP posts:
CoolWivesClub2019 · 23/08/2019 20:42

Ahahahahahahahahaha please do come back after the birth and let us know how it went

This.

I’m sure if I’d only remembered my calming breaths that would have stopped all the haemorrhaging and stitches and so on. Silly me! 🙈

Pardonwhat · 23/08/2019 20:43

Newbie1981
From what I can see nearly all of the bad birth stories are in response to the idiotic poster saying that bad births are the fault of the mother for ‘not preparing’.

StarlingsInSummer · 23/08/2019 20:43

Yes, I'm sure if I'd done more calming breaths it would have prevented my pre eclampsia.

Claire90ftm · 23/08/2019 20:46

65 hours... without sleep and in awful pain the majority of that time until I got a wonderful Epidural. And then you don't have time to recover the lost sleep before you have to take care of a baby who needs you every couple of hours. I made the decision to switch to formula feeding the day after giving birth but I SERIOUSLY thought that it had been several days since giving birth. I was so out of it...

Lindtnotlint · 23/08/2019 20:46

IF GETTING INDUCTION DRIP, HAVE AN EPIDURAL FIRST.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that. It honestly made me want to die. (I also had a non-induced birth which was a walk in the park - people who say it all depends are truly bang on. It’s not about you and your degree of pain tolerance or preparedness, it’s about the random nature of the birth you are given).

ThatCurlyGirl · 23/08/2019 20:51

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it. It seems to be the women that lose control. I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!

Wait wait wait - I've scrolled back but can't find the original post in bold above but is it actually from someone who hasn't gone through labour yet?!

I haven't gone either and it even made me lol!!! That might be the most ridiculous post I've ever seen on mumsnet 😂😂😂

Imagine being a woman condemning and blaming women for their most painful and vulnerable moments when you haven't even been there yourself... what a lovely person 🤭

I'm excited for her to report back with an honest review of the pain!

Pardonwhat · 23/08/2019 20:54

ThatCurlyGirl

Page 8 Grin

MaryShelley1818 · 23/08/2019 20:54

I absolutely loved giving birth! I’d happily relive it every single day - I honestly don’t know why more people (who are able to) don’t opt for better pain relief such as an epidural.
I was induced, the worst part was the actual pessary and when they broke my waters but that pain only lasted 30 seconds or so. After breaking my waters they gave me an epidural. I was so relaxed I fell asleep during my contractions and they woke me up when it was time to push. I had zero pain, because of this I could really focus and concentrate on the Midwives instructions and had no tears at all. It was such a lovely and calm experience. Very special indeed. DH watched him being born and within 30-40mins I had all feeling back and could shower. It’s not always so bad luckily x

xJune88 · 23/08/2019 20:54

Inductions are horrid. Well mine was. The drip is pure evil. Pessary made me over contract then had to sit for 4 days until a bed was available for me at labour ward, waters broken, nothing, drip on and things ramped up very quickly got to 4cm and then needed an epidural which stopped working by 8cm even with top ups. Been stuck to a bed catherterised and hooked up to monitors (you have to be once induced) did 23 hours and 2 hours pushing and ended up been told I was going to theatre for forceps and an episiotomy. That failed so emcs. Baby to nicu. Me with a spinal unable to move. 6 weeks hardcore recovery, infected wound. Not bad at all was a laugh. Be ready for induction to require more pain relief and intervention.

sheshootssheimplores · 23/08/2019 20:58

I thought the same. Oh how wrong I was 🤭🙈

FlorencesHunger · 23/08/2019 21:00

Honestly? No one can really say how it will be for you, painful yes but it doesn't have to be horrific bar any emergencies or interventions. Being induced is noted to cause more painful contractions for some reason but all going well it wont be horrific for you.

I was induced at 35.5wks and contractions were really painful, pfb was back to back which added to the horror but due to nature of the labour I didn't get to feel anything for the last few moments of the birth due to having a spinal and forceps delivery in anticipation for emc. The least intervention you have the better but if its needed then take it. Good luck

Smelborp · 23/08/2019 21:02

I’ve always vowed never to share my birth story with a naive mum to be, so I won’t. However your post was quite irritating so I will say it took 3 years for the post birth injuries to start to improve. For the first six months after the birth I would vomit with pain on every bathroom trip. I still get twinges 7 years on.

FlorencesHunger · 23/08/2019 21:03

My induction featured what I can only describe as a long hook that went up and broke my waters, rather than the drip method, which seems to be the more common. Pain was immediate.

Buddytheelf85 · 23/08/2019 21:04

I prepared for labour. Went on long walks, did yoga every day, practised my breathing, ate dates and bathed in clary sage. Didn’t stop me from getting a third degree tear. Also didn’t stop the midwives from diagnosing it initially as a second degree tear and stitching it accordingly, then a haematoma forming behind the stitches, then a trip to theatre to unpick me and evacuate the haematoma (when the third degree tear was discovered).

JollyJlly · 23/08/2019 21:05

Its really not that bad, focus on positive stories.

I was in labour for over a day and a half and had an episiotomy no gas and air. It is an AMAZING experience, all other friends who went through it the same time said the same through various issues, tears and different births. It was amazing not a terrible experience. You will be awesome!

tirednhungry247 · 23/08/2019 21:06

Birthing plans don't exists by the way be ready for ANYTHING to happen you aren't in control your body is so listen to it. Take what you need and don't be a Martyr. I'm never blown away that someone had a 24 hour pain relief free birth, it's just how their body handled it. You won't get judged for a c-section, forceps, etc

As long as baby comes out healthy and you are too that's all that matters.

So my answer is yes. It fucking does really really hurt with zero pain relief but you don't get a badge at the end for it.

laurG · 23/08/2019 21:07

It really depends on how it goes for you. I had a straight forward, fast (5 hours), labour. It was bloody agony. I remember thinking on the way to the hospital that I couldn’t imagine anything more painful or intense than this. But as soon as it was over (even with an episiotomy) I just forgot about. Felt so normal (at least until I stood up). If I’d had a long, complex birth I’d probably have been quite traumatised by it. Good luck. You will be fine x

Blueoasis · 23/08/2019 21:07

It's the reason I won't have children at all. I'm useless with pain, and it's the worst pain you can imagine pretty much. Of course it's going to be bad. But you get your child out of it so that's the good part and makes it worth it.

Milicentbystander72 · 23/08/2019 21:07

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it. It seems to be the women that lose control. I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!

Thanks for highlighting Curlygirl. I missed this too! Unbelievable attitude.

For what it's worth I did several months of fucking hypnobirthing and Reading 'Birth your way' and planned for a homebirth. Meant fuck all in the end.

Second birth I planned nothing really and it was easy and quick.

Saying every labour/birth is very different through luck is really the only thing anyone can say.

Milicentbystander72 · 23/08/2019 21:08

Obviously I know Curlygirl didn't say this at all.

Quail15 · 23/08/2019 21:11

@Vilanelle

I did Blush but I was in a birthing pool so the midwife student caught it in a net and got rid very quickly tbh I was to focused on pushing to be embarrassed.

Haven't rtwt but I thought I managed the pain of my induction really well ... DD was born with gas and air in the pool but she was big and tore me, lost 2.5litres and ended up in emergency surgery for 3 hrs and 3 blood transfusions .... After all that I asked my husband if I had made much noise ( in my head I was convinced that I had quietly groaned throughout the labour ) he asked me if my screaming was the point when DD tore me.

I really can't remember screaming but apparently I screamed almost constantly for the last 15 minutes Blush and I had been 'trying' to drown myself in the pool. Dh had spent a lot of the last hour holding me in a h

Untamedtoad · 23/08/2019 21:12

I think you'll regret asking this 10 days before you're due date...! In all honesty I really think it depends on how everything goes on the day (or DAYS in my case). I know so many people who have had "easy" labours, and others who've been to hell and back with it, but even the ones with nice easy straightforward births have said it was still the most horrendous thing of their lives. I had a 70 hour labour and an emcs with my first DC, so mine was bloody awful, and I couldn't have anticipated that, and had an easy pregnancy, so naively thought I would be fine in labour. It's the worst pain, for the best gain though 😂!! Opted for an elective section with my second though as like hell I was doing that again!!

Quail15 · 23/08/2019 21:12

.....Holding me in a head lock over the edge of the pool

Posted to soon - stupid phone

Kvothe · 23/08/2019 21:12

Hated pregnancy, loved giving birth. Had two ten pound plus babies, would give birth every week. Yes, it wasn’t all straightforward but the pain was working towards a goal so it was fine. I’d gladly do it again xx

Sallyseagull · 23/08/2019 21:13

I had gas and air and I survived ti tell the tale but everyone has different thresholds and tolerances, I just know I would have been worse if I had been pumped full of drugs as things just dont agree with me.

I want another child so 🤷🏼‍♀️