To think labour can’t be THAT bad?

[Bumpingbumping]

Potentially being extremely naive, and of course this is excluding exceptional circumstances/emergency situations.

But aibu to think labour can’t be as horrific as people make out? I’ll be giving birth in 10 days time following an induction and everybody keeps asking me if I’m terrified and telling me how awful it will be.

Surely if it was THAT bad people just wouldn’t do it? Or would opt for a c section?

Again, feel free to hit me with the facts because I’m possibly being naive. But does anyone have any nice birth stories? Particularly following an induction?

Resize.. ur friend is still in her state of euphoria...

I remember after birth I was almost fainted And I was saying that wasn’t so bad..

But when I left euphoria and went back to norm and had the time to relive the experience in my head I remembered just how I was feeling.

And now that I’m close to my delivery it’s quite vivid in my mind..

My mother said it was soo easy.. but only after she saw me in labour did she remember how extruciating it was..

If baby is out and mum is able to recover well then the trauma gets overshadowed with euphoria and there is no reminder of those details to ruminate on... until you are ready to process it and feel like a hero..

But I do think your friend is still in a state of euphoria.. unless she can describe to u the events of her labour in detail I would take it with a pinch of salt..

Sorry !

My first-hell on earth I thought I was going to die-I screamed so loud they could hear me in the next floor
2nd-has Quincy’s (a really bad form of tonsillitis) so that was worse than the labour pains
3rd-thought I had really bad backache and needed a poo-gave birth on the landing floor while standing up
4th 5th 6th-has worse period pains to be honest the worst bit was them coming out and the after pains where out of this world

It was no where near as bad as I thought it would be, especially during the end, I didn’t feel much at all. I didn’t feel the ring of fire either. The most pain I can remember is being stitched up after a small tear afterwards. For me, it genuinely was fine. I went into it with a laid back attitude like you, that might’ve helped.

I had a back to back induction, after my waters broke five weeks early, my body wasn't ready, the epidural didn't work and my baby got stuck. At one point I actually thought I was going to die. My DM has said to me since when she first saw me the day after I looked shell shocked. DS will be a one and only. Come back in two weeks and tell us it wasn't that bad.

I have two words for you: splay tearing. I’ll leave it to you to decide if having sustaining multiple tears including to your clit and urethra and on either side of the flaps is the sort of pain a bit of hypnobirthing would solve. You’re probably right that those of us with multiple sets of stitches in our front bottoms are all being a bit overdramatic. 🤷‍♀️

For some people it's not that bad. Hopefully you.
For some of us it is indescribably awful. I was traumatised after my first. Back-to-back baby meant 24 hours of the worat pain I had ever experienced. I found it terrifying. The epidural was amazing, but after it I did lose a lot of blood, need an episiotomy and ventouse. It was shocking. Some of us are really not made for it amd would die without medical intervention. Survival of the fittest
Birth 2 was much more straightforward but no time for pain relief and the pushing stage was out of this world, off the scale painful. For 45 minutes.
Birth 3 was the worst as she was back-to-back again, but too far down for a c-section and no doctors around. So although my body and mind desperately didn't want the pain, I had to push until I ripped and out she came. Blue lighted to hospital and repaired in theatre. I would rather die than do that again and I mean that. 4 hours of unbelievable agony.
How we do it completely confuses me. For me, childbirth was the most terrifying, gruesome, excrutiating thing, far beyond my wildest nightmares.
Sorry, but you did ask.

I feel the same when pregnant. A little cocky - how bad can it be?!

Turns out it's horrendous - I actually wanted to die. Agonising pain - I even tried to bite my partner.

I'm really surprised how many people say "it's fine" when that will literally have no bearing on whether it's fine for you or not

I expected the worst, and was pleasantly surprised, easier than I thought it would be. Don’t listen to the scare stories.

Oh and DH said it looked like somebody had tipped buckets of blood on the floor

Ds1 - 37.75 hours in labour, pushing for 90 minutes, ended up having an episiotomy (with no pain relief either when it was done or when it was sewn up ). Ds2 - 24 hours in labour, much shorter second stage, one small tear. Ds3 - a mere 20 hours and one small tear.

And contractions can be bloody painful - I had pethidine part way through labour with ds1, and had gas and air with the other two because they were home births, so I couldn’t have pethidine (as far as I recall, it was policy in our area that you couldn’t have pethidine unless 2 midwives were present, and only one was available).

The sensation of the baby descending through the birth canal is pretty intense too - it can me pretty painful, as you might imagine.

BUT, whilst it is painful, I found it helped me to think of it as a productive pain - there would be something amazing at the end of it, and there would be an end to it - it’s not like chronic pain that you know you have to just live with.

@Bumpingbumping - I don’t want to scare you, ahead of your first labour - and it is true that it can be fairly easy/tolerable for some women - but for others it is jolly painful and sometimes it is horrific - and I think it is better to go into it with realistic expectations - then if it is easier, great, and if it is worse than you expect, at least it is not too much worse, if that makes sense. Ie. if you expect labour pain to be. 0 out of 10, and it is a 7 out of 10, that is a lot worse than you were expecting, and that would be hard for you to deal with. But if you expect 5 out of 10, and it is 3 out of 10, you feel great, and if it is 7 out of 10, that is not too much worse than 5/10.

@Yogagirl123
They're not 'scare stories' how dismissive, they are the experiences of actual women. Just because you coughed and a baby fell out, it isn't like that for a lot of women.

It can be not so bad but even straightforward labours can be very hard. My first was a straightforward labour and it felt like hell during it, transition feels like you have the worst case of norovirus you've ever had but can't shit it out (I did actually insist I needed to go to the toilet and the midwives kept telling me I didn't but I didn't believe them until I went to the loo and realised I couldn't poo) but in retrospect it was fairly easy.

My second however was hell, absolute hell. And it does not end after baby comes out, afterpains are a thing (although they aren't as bad with your first) and with my second they were really bad because my uterus wasn't contracting properly so I had to have repeated in and out catheters and have my belly pressed on very very hard by the midwives, I had a major PPH and they pressed so hard I needed the gas and air again.

I would go in with very low expectations and hope to be pleasantly surprised rather than go in with high expectations and be very disappointed.

They're not 'scare stories' how dismissive, they are the experiences of actual women.

Agree. I have seen hundreds of women in labour. The level of pain and difficulty varies massively. If you had an easy labour, it's not because you 'have a high pain threshold', it's because you had an easy labour.

I was so scared about labour, to the point I think I was annoying in going on about it so much. And I can honestly say it was NOT as bad as I thought. I think if you fear the worst it just can't be that bad. Honestly if my labour is the same next time then I'll welcome the day. I should add.... I took all the drugs available 😜

it’s the stage when I felt completely surrdered to death and it’s the state that I remember the most

Yes! I relate to this very much.

OP, every birth is very different. Every woman feels a bit different. I had an epidural for my first so don't remember much.

With my second birth, I was induced early and everyone told me the pain from induction would be horrendous. It actually felt very bearable to me. It was a very quick labour (60 mins from first contraction to birth). I found the contractions the hardest to bare. The actual pushing was a blur, maybe I was in the 'death state' then? Whatever it was it was doable. I mean, there was no other option!

First time, gas and air had no effect on me at all. Second time I sucked on that pipe like a baby with a lollipop it was GREAT! The gas and air doesn't take away the pain but gives you a 'ah fuck it' feeling.

Good luck op. It will be fine and you will have your own unique birth story to add

Number One, difficult. Gas and Air, Pethidine, Spinal Block, Forceps and stitches.
Number Two, not UK. Epidural as soon as I arrived. Absolute doddle.
Number Three, no pain relief as no time. Indescribable pain.
Would I do it again if I was young enough? Absolutely.

Expecting to get absolutely flamed for this comment, but everyone I know thats had a horrible/traumatic labour, did little to nothing to prepare for it.

It seems to be the women that lose control.

I'm of the same opinion as you, OP. I dont think it will be that bad (I'm due soon!). It seems to have a lot to do with your outlook and how scared you are. I've been practicing calming breathing techniques and hypnobirthing, and feel quite calm and will hopefully manage to remain in control of the process.

I'll come back after to report, hopefully I wont be eating my words!

Ahahahahahahahahaha please do come back after the birth and let us know how it went.

It was horrific. I’m not going to go into any detail because I’m getting sick of listening to myself attempting to describe the indescribable.

And I will be getting a c-section next time.

Gish girls, way to go . Make sure you punish the stupid naive girl who thinks labour can't be that bad by telling her the worst stories you can think of 😳😳

#Gosh. Sorry for the typo.

Labour is worth than the actual giving birth - and that's saying something!!!!

But yes 100 percent worth it :)

I found it pretty easy and no drugs.