Just been shouted out by funeral party...

[Pinklady1982]

Aibu to be feeling really upset by this? I was just driving along and a funeral car pulled out slowly from a turning. They had about 10 cars behind it which were possibly all part of the party, so I slowed down and let a load of cars through. Now this was a residential road and I could see some other cars had joined the back of the queue. I started easing forward a bit as if I kept waiting there letting all the cars out I would be there ages and needed to get home, also I wasn't to know if they were all part of the funeral. I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out. I just put my window up and pulled over as I felt a bit shaken. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable anyway at the moment and I hate confrontation. I know that at these times emotions will be heightened, but was I really in the wrong here? They were going to then be pulling out onto a main road where I'm sure they would be seperated by other cars, so you can't all expect to stay together surely?

Why can't she be serious? Assuming that the deceased is not a significant figure that requires road closures then the world keeps spinning.
I would choose picking up my child, making an appointment etc over allowing all those cars ahead of me.

I do think that people who whine on and on about no one showing them 'respect' tend to be the ones who don't understand that the world doesn't revolve around them. Death happens all the time, everyone will suffer bereavements - and no one has the time or the head space to interrupt their day for the funerals of random strangers. If you live anywhere near a crem or a cemetery, you could be getting held up five or six times a day, every day.
The living matter, too. Your own kids' wellbeing (not having to worry about why no-one's come to fetch them from school), that interview you're going to which is for your dream job (and being late for it will probably cost you the job), your sick friend/relative who needs you to get their shopping or fill their prescription... all of these and many other things are quite rightly more important to you than some completely unknown family's funeral parade.
Being bereaved isn't a free pass to have absolutely everyone prioritise you over their own, equally important, daily business.

Exactly

Mathsanxiety- one poster on here mentioned her mother getting held up by a funeral procession on her way to hospital to have chemotherapy - surely you cannot think that a funeral should take priority over that?

I would have shouted "it'll be your funeral soon if you don't shut your fat cakehole". But I'm not the most sensitive of souls

Are there really cunts people who would actually say such a thing (3rd poster in) or are they merely keyboard warriors?

H - ‘cunts’ was supposed to be strike through, not underlined

It behoves people who are traveling for important appointments to give themselves plenty of time to get there, accounting for predictable delays.

If the route to your appointment runs within a couple of miles of a crematorium or cemetery, or a grade level railway with traffic lights, or you know there is roadwork and detours, then plan accordingly.

If your appointment is that important then take the trip there seriously and leave early.

How is a funeral a 'predictable delay' unless you spend all your free time scouring the obituaries?

I was driving past a church where people were gathering for a funeral when my car horn sounded out really loudly (as they do). Cue the evil eye and shocked, open mouths of the assembled throng. I was so embarrassed and flustered because it obviously looked like I'd done it on purpose. I didn't, and to this day I don't know how it happened!

@mathanxiety and in the same sense mourners can't expect drivers with right of way to let them through. So they need to ensure that they 1. Get over themselves and 2. Familiarise themselves with their destination.

It behoves people who are traveling for important appointments to give themselves plenty of time to get there, accounting for predictable delays.

If the route to your appointment runs within a couple of miles of a crematorium or cemetery, or a grade level railway with traffic lights, or you know there is roadwork and detours, then plan accordingly.

Oh ffs there are churches all over my city, any one of them could have a funeral at any time, and then the mourners could be on their way from church to crematorium or grave yard, there is no way everyone else should have to leave massively early on the off chance they get stuck having to give way to a massive funeral procession.

Some people on this thread are bonkers- burying the dead does not trump the needs of the living.

It behoves people who are traveling for important appointments to give themselves plenty of time to get there, accounting for predictable delays.

A Kennedy-esque funeral procession featuring more wheels than the Austrian Grand Prix is not a “predictable” delay.

And anyway, sometimes people have to make unscheduled journeys. Such is life (and death).

It behoves people who are traveling for important appointments to give themselves plenty of time to get there, accounting for predictable delays.

I’m the poster with the mother who missed the train to her chemotherapy appointment. At the time she was travelling there was one train per hour on the line she needed for the hospital. For someone who didnt have cancer I’m sure it is fine to leave home an hour early and then, if the journey goes to schedule, just kill the extra hour with a spot if shopping or a cup of coffee but my mother HAD CANCER! When she was told she was not going to live she made us promise that the hearse and single limousine (all other cars went to the crematorium and met us there - it wasn’t hard to give them the address and a map) would travel at normal road speeds as she WAS DEAD and other people might have important things to do.

I am respectful of funerals but it is possible that any car being held up by the cortège contains a son trying to get to the hospital having been told his mother is slipping away, a husband taking his pregnant wife to hospital as her waters just broke, a woman who just got a call from school that her child has fallen and has been taken to the hospital with a suspected skull fracture..... these people NEED to get to their destination in a timely manner the dead do NOT need to travel at snails pace for respect to be shown.

I say all this is someone who has buried a mother, a loved mother in law, grandparents, dearly loved aunt, a cousin, a niece, a very close friend, a Woman who was like a mother to me.... my family know that my cortège is NOT to hold up traffic.

She was rude and disgusting, grieving is no excuse for her vile behaviour. You did nothing wrong.

It absolutely is a predictable delay if your route takes you past a crematorium or a cemetery, just as a grade level railway with gates that stop traffic is a delay you factor in when planning your important trip.

I make frequent trips to an airport using a route that bisects a railway whose gates often shut for freight trains. Hundreds of busy people just like me sit twiddling our thumbs while trains of 90 or more wagons pass slowly by, sometimes even stopping. Should I write to the railroad and complain? Or should I factor in what might be half an hour's delay? Problems, problems.

The same railroad bisects another route I took when my DCs were in school. No way could I go grocery shopping to a certain supermarket on the other side of the tracks after 2 pm and expect to be back for the DCs by 3.

I have buried plenty of family members too. My dad, my sister, all my uncles and aunts on one side and an uncle and aunt on the other, plus grandparents, and cousins. A child killed by a driver who no doubt had excellent reasons for driving at the speed she was driving at. Also a dear friend who died of cancer, and her husband who took his own life.

The idea that some self important person would expect their business to be considered more important than affording a grieving family a little time and space to bury a loved one says a lot about the culture of the UK right now. It's dog eat dog.

People driving in funeral processions are grieving too, and the last thing they need is to have to watch carefully for too-busy-to-wait interlopers cutting in or cutting them off while they drive.

People driving in funeral processions are grieving too, and the last thing they need is to have to watch carefully for too-busy-to-wait interlopers cutting in or cutting them off while they drive

Having been part of many funeral processions in my time, I would beg to differ. I genuinely couldn’t care less whether the procession is broken up or not. No shits given to the extent that the thought has never even entered my head until this thread.

Any of the processions I’ve travelled in might have featured the Glasgow Tour bus for all I know. I don’t know, nor care.

Buggeroffandgooddaytoyou Sorry about your mother

@mathanxiety the grieving family isn't anymore important than someone's own business.

The most important factor is right of way. Which the Op had. The bottom line is the Highway Code.

OP had right of way. Which means she doesn't need to give a damn about what they want.

The idea that some self important person would expect their business to be considered more important than affording a grieving family a little time and space to bury a loved one says a lot about the culture of the UK right now. It's dog eat dog.

Sorry but why does a funeral trump the needs of a person with Cancer needing to get to a chemotherapy appointment? I’d hardly say that going to a chemo appointment is being ‘self important’.

Only arseholes shout at strangers in the street.

It would be very helpful if funeral procession cars tied a black ribbon on their aerials so others knew.
No ywnbu

YANBU

Grief is not a license to shout at a strangers. Speaking as someone who is currently grieving.

Tbh the other funeral guests probably appreciated her being delayed a bit.

A funeral procession does not have right of way and has to abide by normal traffic rules - roundabouts, traffic lights etc so it is inevitable that the procession will be broken up. The usual procedure is for the undertaker to walk in front of the hearse at the beginning but after that it is inevitable that unless the funeral is just down the road the procession will have to be broken.

I think the woman was in the wrong to shout at you and to be honest if it was my loved one that is the last thing I would think of doing winding down the window and hurling abuse at someone who had just let the hearse and about 10 cars out. Think no more about it OP and sorry you were upset.

Maybe I'm being obtuse, but why wouldn't the funeral procession drive at the normal speed or thereabouts? My son's nursery was near a funeral home and whilst they did stop traffic for a bit while the hearse got out, they then kinda blended into normal traffic.

I can understand why everyone would like to stick together though that prove tricky in practice.