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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Buggy for 5 year old?

167 replies

IShitGlitter · 22/08/2019 17:42

We have just booked our first abroad holiday with the kids to lanazrote. Weve been aboard loads but weve not taken the plunge with the kids yet......anyway

AIBU to want a double buggy to take for my DD3 DS5 (ages when we go) am thinking at the end of the day he will be shatterd after pool fun evening entertainment ect. Just to be clear he is a fantastic walker and walks everywhere normally.

so AIBU putting my 5 year old in a buggy

OP posts:
whattodowith · 23/08/2019 11:23

YABU. It’s acceptable at three, not at five unless there are disabilities involved.

Rubicon80 · 23/08/2019 11:26

@Areyoufree Mine would still use one now, if I'd let them (5 and 7)! And we always walked everywhere - they just refused to walk most of the time.

I find it really difficult to believe that children who genuinely 'walk everywhere' would object. Mine are similar ages (8 and 5) and we don't have a car, so we walk to school and back every day, which is a 3.5 mile round trip, plus we often walk 5-10 miles a day at the weekend, either round town (London) or out in the countryside.

There isn't an option to refuse - they wouldn't get to school otherwise!

The idea of a non-disabled 7-year-old in a buggy is just wrong.

Chanandlersbong · 23/08/2019 11:28

I've done this before and would again. So long as your DCs are comfortable with it. If not I wouldn't force the issue. I like the mothercare jive buggies. Sturdy as you like and only around £40 for a single. Not sure if they do doubles.

Glitterfisher · 23/08/2019 11:32

My eldest was out of a buggy completely before he was 3 however when we went on cruises when he was5 he would go in the night nursery and after we'd been out we'd collect him and pop him in our 3 year olds buggy to walk him to the cabin (ships are huge so over a 5 min walk). He was fine for that distance as was the buggy. We would carry the little one.

Areyoufree · 23/08/2019 11:32

I find it really difficult to believe that children who genuinely 'walk everywhere' would object.

Well, am not lying! I don't drive, so my kids walked everywhere with me. My daughter would sit down and scream that her legs hurt - she would get incredibly worked up, and would sit there, hitting her legs, screaming. My son will just sit down and refuse to move. You can shout, take away privileges, cajol - nothing works. At the end of the day, when you have to get them preschool/school, you have to make it work.

The idea of a non-disabled 7-year-old in a buggy is just wrong. Okay, so we don't use the buggy now - haven't in a couple of years, although I would never judge someone in a buggy at any age. You don't know their circumstances.

LiveRightNow · 23/08/2019 11:35

I've done this before and the kids walk everywhere at home. It meant on holiday we could all relax and enjoy the holiday as I knew the kids had somewhere to rest if tired and we could stay out later. Some other kids happily stayed out late but they then napped during the day (very common in Europe where kids are happily running around at 10pm) or get up late. Mine don't like napping or late starts so it suited us best. It was also a godsend when one came down ill as we could still go out but they could rest as needed. I don't know why people are snooty about it on here. For some it suits, for someit doesn't, but there isn't anything wrong with it!!! I do loads of things on holiday that aren't super healthy that I wouldn't do at home. (Like laying by the pool all day) - why shouldn't the kids be allowed some slack as well?! Happy kids, happy holiday!

LiveRightNow · 23/08/2019 11:39

Though as an addition I wouldn't waste money on a new one. I got a cheap secondhand one online for about £20. Hiring sounds a good option. (If you don't need it you can always leave it at the hotel - just because you have it doesn't mean you are obliged to use it every night like some posters seem to think!)

Rubicon80 · 23/08/2019 11:42

@Areyoufree Well, am not lying! I don't drive, so my kids walked everywhere with me. My daughter would sit down and scream that her legs hurt - she would get incredibly worked up, and would sit there, hitting her legs, screaming. My son will just sit down and refuse to move. You can shout, take away privileges, cajol - nothing works. At the end of the day, when you have to get them preschool/school, you have to make it work.

I didn't mean to suggest you were lying, I'm just surprised - and sorry that it's so difficult for you.

Okay, so we don't use the buggy now - haven't in a couple of years, although I would never judge someone in a buggy at any age. You don't know their circumstances.

I don't judge IRL for exactly that reason, because I don't know if the child has special needs or disabilities. But on this thread there are people who are clear about their circumstances and that their 5/6/7 year-old children definitely DON'T have additional needs, and in those cases I think it is fair enough to have an opinion!

PumpkinP · 23/08/2019 11:46

Are the 5 year olds that don’t fit in buggies very large then? As My 5 year old still comfortably fits in my Icandy peach and went in the other day after a long walk, (it’s his sister’s buggy she’s 2) and he isn’t small for his age either. Yes I would take one, I wouldn’t hesitate.

Areyoufree · 23/08/2019 11:50

@Rubicon80
I didn't mean to suggest you were lying, I'm just surprised - and sorry that it's so difficult for you.

It's hard to tell tone from posts - wasn't offended. It's always been a frustration of mine, partly because I love to walk, and partly because every other bugger seems to have kids that love to run around. My nephew was walking up to 6 miles a day when he was two, so it's always been hard not to think that there is something I am doing wrong! To be fair, I think my daughter struggles with being around lots of noise and people, and this is why she gets upset. I find the additional needs thing tricky, because nothing is black and white - kids can struggle or tire easily without reaching any diagnostic criteria for SN (although, have no idea about my daughter, as it is impossible to get a referral in my area). I think that's why I try not to have an opinion about these things, because every situation is different, and most people are just trying to make things work!

MRex · 23/08/2019 12:11

@Areyoufree - you said your DD's legs hurt. Has she been tested for hypermobility / Ehlers Danlos? That can be a major symptom. It might not be obviously and sorry to butt in, just thought I'd mention it in case.

MrsWombat · 23/08/2019 12:37

Could one of you carry the 3 year old and put the 5 year old in the buggy if needed?

YANBU to consider it. It's a holiday for you all and there is no point in being miserable for the sake of a bit of metal. An extra seat in the buggy is always useful for all the crap you have to cart around with you on holiday. I've been to Disneyworld Florida where many infant school aged children were in hired double buggies and non driving parents of poorly kids sent home early from my school often arrive with buggies to take them home at the grand age of 7.

memaymamo · 23/08/2019 12:57

Wow, I think my DD must be the only 5 year old who'd love to be pushed around 24/7. She would think all her christmases had come at once if I let her sit in a buggy.

I say do it, you're on holidays. If I saw a 5/6/7 year old in a buggy with his sister I wouldn't bat an eyelid, I would just think they'd had a long day.

Areyoufree · 23/08/2019 13:01

@MRex Actually, I do think she is hypermobile. For example, if she puts her arms out straight, they don't lie at 180 degrees - they bend further back at the elbows. I never thought of actually getting her tested for it though - I didn't think there was a lot they would do, apart from telling us to encourage her not to overstretch. Maybe I should make a Dr.s appointment - thanks for your post!

MRex · 23/08/2019 13:09

@Areyoufree - my friend and another friend's DD both got referred for specialist physio to learn the exercises that are best to grow muscle that will protect their ligaments, or something like that. Anyway, both did very much better after physio and keeping up with the exercises so definitely worth asking your GP for a physio referral as one thing to try. I hope you find something that will help.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 23/08/2019 13:11

OP, I hope you’re managing to ignore the moralising here. I do think holidays can be different and it’s worth considering your options. In your case I would probably take a single buggy and carry one child if needed, but I am strong and have a high tolerance for carrying children - ymmv.

DS walked miles from a v young age (easily 10+ miles in a day at weekends, 3+ as standard during the week) but I was super thankful to have (read around in advance and) taken a buggy to Disneyland Paris when he was nearly 4 - not only did he need a rest sometimes, he actually took up napping in it! It made things easy rather than meaning we had to fight and struggle and cajole and take the shine off our holiday. A year later, he didn’t need it at all, but I wouldn’t judge you if yours did. Don’t wreck your holiday evenings with crabby children, that’s my view.

PumpkinP · 23/08/2019 14:08

Wow, I think my DD must be the only 5 year old who'd love to be pushed around 24/7. She would think all her christmases had come at once if I let her sit in a buggy.

Nope not just yours, mine would love it! And when you imagine all the 5 year olds that get driven in a car everywhere I don’t understand why people would judge it!

twinkletwinklelittlestar123 · 23/08/2019 14:23

YABU. Unless SN 5 is wayy too old for a buggy! I wouldn't even bring one for my 3 year old.... Bring a pushchair for your 3 year old if you really want too, but certainly not the 5 year old. Weird to consider it IMO.

AJPTaylor · 23/08/2019 14:59

Beg or borrow a single. Someone is bound to have one somewhere.

Rubicon80 · 23/08/2019 15:19

@Areyoufree
It's always been a frustration of mine, partly because I love to walk, and partly because every other bugger seems to have kids that love to run around. My nephew was walking up to 6 miles a day when he was two, so it's always been hard not to think that there is something I am doing wrong! To be fair, I think my daughter struggles with being around lots of noise and people, and this is why she gets upset. I find the additional needs thing tricky, because nothing is black and white - kids can struggle or tire easily without reaching any diagnostic criteria for SN (although, have no idea about my daughter, as it is impossible to get a referral in my area). I think that's why I try not to have an opinion about these things, because every situation is different, and most people are just trying to make things work!

Genuinely, in almost all families I know, if the parents are keen walkers - even more so if they don't drive - then the kids also walk long distances without complaining. The kids I know who moan and whine and refuse to walk are generally the ones who are driven everywhere.

That's why I was surprised, given that you sound (the same as me) someone who doesn't drive and loves to walk everywhere, to hear about the difficulties you're having with your daughter.

I do think that it might be worth getting some sort of investigation done (though I don't have any expertise about what it might be, but you've had some good suggestions here already I think) because it obviously isn't something you're doing wrong.

Like I said, I don't pass judgement on people I see out and about (unless they're stuffing their kids with Haribo, hitting them, or smoking in their faces) but on a thread like this (which explicitly asked for others' thoughts) I think it's reasonable to offer a view.

I hope things improve with your daughter soon. Flowers

Areyoufree · 23/08/2019 15:45

@Rubicon80
Like I said, I don't pass judgement on people I see out and about (unless they're stuffing their kids with Haribo, hitting them, or smoking in their faces) but on a thread like this (which explicitly asked for others' thoughts) I think it's reasonable to offer a view.

Okay, that's a fair point!

To be honest, I hadn't realised that perhaps my daughter's behaviour is a little more out of the ordinary than I had thought, so this thread has been an eye-opener for me. Thanks for the good wishes - she's doing a lot better these days. My dreams of long, lovely family hikes may still be realised!

ButterflyOne1 · 23/08/2019 15:48

Lazy parenting!!

Go out to dinner earlier so the kids are in bed at a reasonable time. There's no way a 5 year old should be in a buggy. The three year old I could maybe understand but it's still lazy. Pick them up and put them on your shoulders if they are tired.

GroggyLegs · 23/08/2019 15:59

Not RTFT but we've taken a knackered old Maclaren with a lascal buggy board for my 3&5 year olds for the last 3 holidays and it works very well, although they usually squabble over who gets to go on the board.

IMO it can make everyone's holiday a bit easier if young children can hitch a lift at the end if the day, in the midday sun or on longer walks.

LollyBmummy3 · 23/08/2019 16:23

I understand your reasons, but none of my children would’ve sat in a buggy when they were 5!

IShitGlitter · 23/08/2019 16:24

ButterflyOne1

Lazy parenting!!

Go out to dinner earlier so the kids are in bed at a reasonable time. There's no way a 5 year old should be in a buggy. The three year old I could maybe understand but it's still lazy. Pick them up and put them on your shoulders if they are tired

....yes am a lazy parent for wanting my child to not be a tierd mess at 7pm after a long day Its our holiday too why should we be cooped up in a room of a night while they sleep. He might not even use it at all but its there as an option.

The hire company are sending me pictures of the doubles they do if they arent suitable they hire buggy boards too as an option.

OP posts:
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