To wander round in bra and pants with wet hair?

[Scissor]

Of course I'll drop all the towels I've been using on the floor and leave a half eaten bowl of coagulating cereal next to the sink. Having great fun staying at my daughter's first proper flat and she has a fab sense of humour. What else could I do?

Knock on her door at 10pm asking for help with an impossible work project that you've just remembered is due to be done by tomorrow.

Don’t empty any bin ever.

And on repeat say ‘Sophie’s mum isn’t like you. She’s cool with stuff - you know’

Whenever she serves you food or drink - cry, because the plate/cup is the wrong colour. This must be done at least three consequetive times before the appropriate plate emerges.

Spend hours in her bathroom doing "science experiments" with her expensive toiletries. This essentially involves mixing them with water and leaving them in cups festering on the side. Cry when she throws them away.

Declare that you hate everything.
Everything.

Poo in a cupboard. Deny its you.

Write your name on the wall.
Deny its you.

Burst in on her whilst she's on the toilet and make unbreaking eye contact whilst just standing there.

Lick her.
Best if done in front of friends.

Throw up down her back.
Best if done in front of friends.

Declare loudly that you need a poo.
.... Best if done in front of friends.

When you come in to the flat next - kick your shoes off by the front door in an optimum ‘someone’s going to trip over them’ position, then take off your jacket and fling it on the stairs, then go into the kitchen and scatter your scarf, keys and handbag on various different surfaces, before finally going in to the living room, lying on the sofa, taking off your socks and chucking them wherever you feel like it.

I think definitely I need to wake her up making snacks at about 2a.m.

This is hilarious

Am now dreading my 5 year old DD growing up. I have THE FEAR!!

Say "don't worry I KNOW how to do my own clothes washing" while turning machine on with tissues left in jean or trouse pockets

Also - do a "load" of washing (hottest wash!) consisting of one pair of knickers and a snugly-fitting tee-shirt.

Scream the house down when the tee-shirt shrinks.

Omg I love this thread I'm going to do all of this when DD leaves home

Crisp packets stuffed between the sofa cushions and/or thrown behind the sofa.

If you feel like going further back - muddy shoes, and run right through the flat, then bounce on the bed!

Make sure you leave hair grips in your pockets for the washing machine engineer to find as the cause for the buggered washing machine and then declare “well I never use hair grips” before leaving the house with your perfectly hair gripped “messy” bun to go go and buy more bastarding hair grips with the cash you took out of her purse.

Go to university long enough for her to get things nice again and so that everyone else starts smiling at each other instead of hiding and then announce that you are coming back for a few weeks “won’t that be nice”. Within two hours of being back the fridge must be empty, the house must be full of wet washing, the bathroom filthy, no hot water, DH locked himself in the shed and seriously considering taking up fishing while DS rocks in a corner asking when she is leaving.

This is so funny. Cry because you asked her to draw a circle but when you did it it wasn't upside down like you wanted.

Wait til she's in the bath then burst in, throw cheerios in the water and have an enormous poo all the while asking non stop questions about what her book is about.

Go shopping together, ideally clothes shopping, must be a big shop, as soon as you enter, run away as fast as you possibly can, squeeze yourself behind a row of clothes, ignore all frantic calls of your name, when found make sure you've had a very large, very smelly shit!

Block the toilet
Leave loo roll tubes on the holder
Block the sink with bits of food
Drop dirty dishes into a sink of cold water and just leave them
Use scourers on nonstick pans
Buy loads of yellow sticker veg and leave them to rot in the bottom of the fridge
Store used mugs under your bed
Spill sugar over the kitchen floor and do a bad job of brushing it up
Leave hair in the plughole
Leave straighteners on until they melt the laminate surface of the dressing table.

Get her to buy you some overpriced that from Topshop. Stain it with make up the first time you wear it.

Leave the front door unlocked so any random can come in.

Leave the empty cooker running.

Sprinkle cornflakes over the carpet and tread them in.

Put fake tan on ( ask her to do your back ) then sleep in nice clean white sheets

Cut her hair when she's sleeping.

Waken her up at 6:00 am by forcibly lifting her eyelids and tell her you need your bum wiped.

After she’s painstakingly checked every one of your pockets for tissues, chuck a hoodie with an entire packet of tissues in the wash before she notices. Deny any involvement when she opens the washing machine to find little bits of white tissue bloody everywhere.

Oh my god....whine that there's nothing to eat and then sob ostentatiously in your bedroom until she comes in to find out what's wrong.

Then tell her you hate her.

Sneak into her bed for a cuddle and then wet yourself her.

Get wasted. Vom in her handbag and car air vents.

Oooh, ooh! Invite a load of your friends round at 10.00pm and eat all the food in the house!