Exclaim loudly you are going to make "yourself" something to eat or drink. Ask no one else if they want anything.
Go into kitchen, using the 12 steps it takes to get there to work out the smallest snack possible that takes the most utensils, saucepans, bowls, jugs and cutlery to prepare. For example, Tuna and sweetcorn sandwich with mayonnaise and a bag of crisps if done properly should take the three jugs, four chopping boards and an entire set of kitchen knives. And at least three plates, one that was too small, one that was perfect until you decide to have crisps. Finally the large plate you settled on.
Walk quickly away from debris, it's virtually important that you don't look backwards at any point. Instead, create a diversion by screaming loudly "who the fuck put Dad in charge if buying crisps and fizz again, you know he gets the shit stuff".
Then strop out of kitchen, and flounce up the stairs. Kick the dog, insult younger sibling to the point of tears and spilling your drink on laminate floor is of course mandatory.
Leave plate to fester under bed, but denying knowledge of its existence for at least a week.
Sneak plate down to kitchen once mouldy, and gently place the plate in dishwasher complete with mouldy debris.