My relationship with my ex ended 5 years ago. Little one was 8 months when he left, we got back together for a few very unhappy months until I discovered he was cheating. I never want him back. Fast forward to now and we are friendly, I was always pleasant to him in front of my daughter and over time and co-parenting we are friendly. That is all. He has a long term girlfriend (the other woman from back then). I have had a boyfriend since the ex for 2 years, it didn’t work out.
So....
New boyfriend has never met my ex but he HATES him. He hates him for what he did to me and when he messes me about with childcare. I like that he’s protective of me and on my side but he so strongly thinks my ex is a terrible person that it’s difficult for me to mention him (usually only talk about ex when I’m talking about when I do/ don’t have my daughter) but he thinks I’m far to soft on him and that ex takes advantage of my kind nature.
So...
I’ve been in Turkey for a week, my ex has a delivery on his route that brings him near my rented house (just me and my daughter) I asked ex to feed the fish and gave him a key. (Didn’t ask the boyfriend as its 20 mins there and back from his work and we were in a rough patch) but I knew new boyfriend wouldn’t like the fact of the ex doing it. I didn’t tell him, but he asked when I got back and I didn’t lie. Therefore big argument. I’ve been co-parenting with ex for 5 years. I’ve been in this new relationship 7 months. I’ve apologised for being disrespectful to new boyfriend. But he can’t understand that I would even talk to the ex nicely, never mind being friendly/ asking for favours. To me it was just a ‘he might as well make himself useful’ favour but to him it’s giving him access to my house and trusting him.
The ex is obviously going to be in my life for a while and I thought we were co-parenting well but maybe I’m being too friendly and making new boyfriend feel insecure.
So....
Very long (sorry) story short
Was I being unreasonable asking my ex to feed my fish?