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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Need advice and ideas please women keeps feeding my cat

77 replies

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 13:47

I've had him since he was born as his mom was my cat, he is very much an out door cat he is ten and still very young looking and energetic. The lady down the road feeds the stray cats in the street but she will not stop allowing my cat the eat aswell she only feeds him packet food. I don't unless tablets and medicines are needed or as treats. all my cats have lived with no health issues and all lived till atleast 18 years old. She knows where he lives and still insists on saying I can't feed one without the other. it's got that bad he now sleeps outside and dosent come home, I've collected him thousands of times and kept him in evan for 3 months but I'm running out of patience. No idea what I can do about it if anything. Anyone have any ideas

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 17/08/2019 13:48

Cat proof your garden or keep him in? She sounds bonkers.

Pipandmum · 17/08/2019 13:50

Not sure if she can do anything either. Are there really that many stray cats around or is she feeding everyone’s cats? Better to call a cat rescue center get them homed rather than feed them.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/08/2019 13:53

I leave food out for strays. Tbh, I don't monitor which cats are eating it.

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 13:55

Feeding other people's cats is a total no no. It's just totally out of order.

You've obviously talked to her about it, more than once. So that's been done.

All I can think is to tell her your cat has developed some kind of illness that needs a strict diet with special expensive food.

Is she feeding them in her house? Or putting the food down outside.

She is way out of line you have my sympathies.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 17/08/2019 13:56

The cat will decide for itself I think.

We had a cat that disappeared regularly and I discovered it was being fed by a woman nearby. I tried to keep her in, but she wouldn’t stay and in the end I allowed the woman to keep her. Couldn’t do much else really, she simply wouldn’t come back.

A few months later the cat was unwell and the woman wanted me to pay the vet bill.

Browniebronze · 17/08/2019 13:58

Are there that many stray cats? If i left food out the fox or rats would have it.

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 13:58

Where do you live that there are stray cats, hunter?

I live in a city in UK so it's not a thing round here.

Are they stray as in breeding? Kittens and stuff?

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 14:00

And that's why feeding other peoples cats is a no no foxy.

They're trying to steal them is all.

My gran used to do it.

SconeofDestiny · 17/08/2019 14:12

You don't ever really own a cat, they're completely independent creatures so in your shoes, I'd leave the cat to continue to do what he wants to.

EachandEveryone · 17/08/2019 14:15

Its definitely a thing in London. Lots of strays near me.

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 14:19

Unfortunately cat proofing garden is not at option lol but thanks. Yes I've just been out again today and she's just come out and said yeah he's been fed today she outdoor feeds them. And proberly not all stray but the other proberly go home she keeps saying about she worries he's gunna get hurt and when it snows. But I can't stop him from going out forever. As he's allways been alowed to come and go as he pleases. I've said he refuses to come back at all because he's been fed there but it makes no difrence. I just don't know what to do it's cruel to keep him in for ages as 3 months didn't work. The only option would be to re home him somewhere eles but I don't want to and should not have to. She tries to say well there's something that's making him not happy and I'm like well nothing it's cause u feed him something he dont get often and cats are greedy And she already said she won't allow him in house as she has dogs not that my cat lives with dogs anyway.

OP posts:

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 14:22

I live in London, outer. No strays.

How do you know they are stray, out of interest?

Tbh wild breeding cats is not something we need in London and if you do have a lot of strays have you called cats protection league or similar.

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 14:23

I should not have to leave him to be homeless when all they have to do is stop feeding him. He will stop going then

OP posts:

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 14:25

I don't know they are stray she just said they are. She thought mine was untill I eventually seen her. I do not feed other cats just incase they do have homes and things nobody should and if they think they are they should phone rspca for them to pick scanned and checked

OP posts:

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 14:27

No of course you can't keep him in.

Yes cats go where they want and that is why you don't feed other peoples cats!

She is totally out of order.

Only thing I can think is previous illness / special food idea.

I don't know why you need to rehome the cat though? In the end, she wants your cat, continues to do so even when asked not to. So there's not a lot you can do. The vets bills thing is a consideration though. If she will not desist and cat goes where it gets all the treats then you need to say OK he's yours then, I suppose.

But she feeds him outside so would not agree.

What a nightmare.

My gran did this totally. It's an awful thing to do.

AND she had a male cat never got it done...

Some people are just arses I guess.

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 14:37

Only said about the re homing thing as maybe he has decided he is not happy hear as cats do that. (I know I had my freinds cat because she cudnt take him with her but he would allways runna away I rehomed him and he was happy.) but he's been happy for ten years so don't know. And yeah she will not have responsibility of actually owning them she has 5 of her own she has already said she don't let them in as they ain't hers. My lad is spade and microchipd he's bloody stubborn

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dottiedodah · 17/08/2019 14:38

Just say to her Ok fine carry on feeding him if you want to .Also OK with the worming tabs ?.flea treatments Pet Insurance ,and yearly check ups/shots ?.Should all come to about £500/£1000 P/A! and see what she says then !.

Bookworm4 · 17/08/2019 14:42

Contact the local Cats Protection to come and scan them, also you can put paper collars on them with your number asking an owner to call, this will sort out which are strays. This woman could be harming the health of someone’s cat by feeding them unsuitable food. CP could have a chat with her about her ignorant behaviour.

Wolfiefan · 17/08/2019 14:50

If she won’t stop feeding him then you have no choice but to keep him in or catproof the garden. Google how to do it.

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 14:53

I cant put paper collars on them as they are at oposite end of the street like 15 houses down. So I don't know what cats go to hers I only ever see her cats there when I am trying to get mine back. She tries to help me get him back but it's becoming impossible he has never liked been grabbed or picked up out side when in doors he's allways having fusses and can sometimes be picked up but not all the time. He's never come to me out side in the ten years I've had him he allways waited till I got in house and then he would come in. So it almost outside looks like he does not like me or want to know me but that's just the way he's allways been. She tries to help me get him to bring him home. But just can't get it though to her it's not going to do any harm to just shew him away when he tries to go and eat the food. I will contact an agency and see what they suggest

OP posts:

Bookworm4 · 17/08/2019 14:56

Ask her if for two weeks not to put food outside at all. If she genuinely cares about cats she’ll work with you. She sounds a complete pain.

HotPenguin · 17/08/2019 15:01

Complain to the council - leaving food out will attract rats and foxes. We once had a letter sent to all our road from the council telling people to stop leaving out food for animals because of vermin. (Or just send your own fake letter ...)

LittleLongDog · 17/08/2019 15:04

’Unfortunately cat proofing garden is not at option lol but thanks.’

For what reason? It might be easier than you think.

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 15:14

Well I dont know how I am going to cat proof the front of the house tbh it's a driveway and both cats go outside front or back. And the back garden has high fences already all has to be done is not feed him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 15:15

Good idea hot penguin

OP posts:

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