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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Need advice and ideas please women keeps feeding my cat

77 replies

Steph2541 · 17/08/2019 13:47

I've had him since he was born as his mom was my cat, he is very much an out door cat he is ten and still very young looking and energetic. The lady down the road feeds the stray cats in the street but she will not stop allowing my cat the eat aswell she only feeds him packet food. I don't unless tablets and medicines are needed or as treats. all my cats have lived with no health issues and all lived till atleast 18 years old. She knows where he lives and still insists on saying I can't feed one without the other. it's got that bad he now sleeps outside and dosent come home, I've collected him thousands of times and kept him in evan for 3 months but I'm running out of patience. No idea what I can do about it if anything. Anyone have any ideas

OP posts:

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 16:38

I mean I'd think 'outdoor cat' was default in uk

But maybe has changed, or have I misunderstood and some people don't let their cats in?

thecatneuterer · 17/08/2019 16:39

@Fraggling

In London there are believed to be more stray and feral cats than there are owned cats. It was research done by a respected source but unfortunately I can't remember which.

Before I got involved in cat rescue I would never have believed it. Now I'm in cat rescue I have no doubt that it's correct. I don't think there is a road in East London, Ilford or Dagenham where either I, or the rescue I'm with, hasn't had to take away strays or neuter feral colonies. Most are in back gardens so are largely hidden from view. The average size of a colony is 35 (that's the number it has to get to before people mention it to charities it seems) and there is barely a street I drive down where I don't know of at least a small colonies in each block of terraced back gardens.

Every day our charity gets at least 20 calls reporting strays and ferals. Unfortunately we only have the resources to deal with about 10 to 20 per cent of the calls that come in.

The stray and feral problem in London is off the charts. If you don't believe me go and spend some time in a rescue - it will open your eyes.

Bookworm4 · 17/08/2019 16:40

@fraggling
It’s not law the chip but very useful for us tracking an owner down.
Usually an owner cat only roams within a small radius of its home so if it is run over an appeal on local SM normally finds an owner. Many cats are unclaimed and suspected strays can be monitored to establish if they are.

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 16:41

That's really interesting.

I'm going to start keeping my eyes peeled when out and about, thank you and got looking after them :)

Fraggling · 17/08/2019 16:41

Got =for

LoafofSellotape · 17/08/2019 16:43

We had this but my dh told our neighbour he needs special food as anything we makes him ill, fortunately they listened and stopped it.

I leave food out for strays. Tbh, I don't monitor which cats are eating it

They won't be strays ,they will be 6 Dinner Sids. Please don't feed cats that aren't yours.

thecatneuterer · 17/08/2019 16:43

Fraggling - no, nothing has changed. It isn't the law to have your cat chipped unfortunately. A stray cat is a cat without an owner. A feral cat is a cat that was born on the street (or more likely in a garden) and has never known human contact.

Most unneutered and unchipped cats are stray for a variety of reasons. Many owned cats are neutered but not chipped.

HeyYouWhatToDo · 17/08/2019 16:58

We had a neighbour start feeding our cat, our cat started to not eat the food we have her.
She had been on dry food since she had been with us and suddenly stopped eating and wanted to be out all day. I eventually saw her strolling out of a neighbour's house licking her lips.

So we bought the tastiest food with fishy chunks and it Soon tempted her back home...and the neighbors moved not long after I am sure they were trying to claim her.

We managed to wean her down to just one pouch a day and the rest dry food which she seems happy about.

Can you buy tasty food to temp him back? Even as a short term thing and wean down to normal food once he's got the message that you are where the good stuff is?

SirJamesTalbot · 17/08/2019 16:59

Try feeding your cat before you let him out. If he's not hungry, he's less likely to pick. Our big cat is a bit of a scrounger, so he's not let out in the morning until his breakfast has been put down.

squee123 · 17/08/2019 17:28

if he prefers pouches why not just feed him pouches?

Teddy2541 · 17/08/2019 17:35

As stated it ruins there teeth and end up realy bad and having teeth pulled out and when he has one he gets the runs so it oviasly does not agree with him

Hotterthanahotthing · 17/08/2019 17:39

We have a feeder down the road but she always feeds at the same time and just once a day.
One of my cats snack there but comes home for tea.Both cats come running for dreamies.

thecatneuterer · 17/08/2019 17:48

They won't be strays ,they will be 6 Dinner Sids.

They most likely will be strays - please see my post above. Strays need feeders to survive.

JacquettaW · 17/08/2019 18:48

One of the reasons both of mine are house cats.

I loathe people that feed other people's pets when it's not necessary. We have a street cat here that a few of us feed. He does have owners, but he's never allowed inside and he's not cared for or fed. The family who own him don't acknowledge he exists. They didn't even take him to the vets when he was clipped by a car and was limping (I took him myself and cat's protection footed the bill that came to over a hundred pounds!)

JacquettaW · 17/08/2019 18:48

As for the feeder, there's not a lot you can do unless you keep him in

sueelleker · 17/08/2019 18:57

Could you tell her he's on a special medical diet, and if she keeps feeding him she'll have to pay the vet's bills when he's ill?

Bookworm4 · 17/08/2019 20:07

@JacquettaW
Will the owners allow him to be rehomed? If not maybe you could get him a shelter to sleep in or would anyone let him in?

makingmammaries · 17/08/2019 21:22

Well, he’s presumably going into her garden to eat food that she provides, on her property, for strays. I can’t really see how you can dictate whether she gets to feed other cats in her garden. If she had her own cats and fed them outside the problem for you would be the same. Sorry, OP, but I think it’s up to you to do whatever it takes to keep your cat out of her garden if you don’t like what he’s eating there.

HangryPants · 17/08/2019 21:37

Cat owners seem to want to have their cake and eat it. Their cats must be free to roam and shit everywhere because they are free spirits, but when it comes to food they are pets that must be kept on a special diet so that they don’t stray.

Lunafortheloveogod · 17/08/2019 21:48

Feed him something better?
Do the dogs chase n annoy him?
My cats a 6 dinner sid, our takeaway place once told us he sits on their bin begging for bits like a stray, he couldn’t believe it when I opened the door with him at my feet (he had a really noticeable scar till his fur grew back). Neighbours have had him steal raw fish they were thawing for the dogs.. on their back step I could only advise them to put it in their shed if they didn’t want it indoors. He’s a cat he doesn’t know who’s fish is who’s and why it was directly next to his back door 😂.
He’s a naturally slender spayed Tom n very vocal so people assume he’s hungry. For a while he had a collar tag that said “I’m not lost I’m just looking for snacks”. You can just let them out the back unless there’s a flap, but usually even 6 dinner sids come back unless there’s something putting them off.

akmum18 · 17/08/2019 22:27

She’s being very selfish, she jumped to conclusions assuming your cat was a stray, no idea if your cat has allergies/health problems and yet still feeds him.
My first thought was to start feeding your cat at home the same food she is feeding him so he realises he doesn’t need to go to her for it. It might not be the food you want him to have but it will ‘train’ him for now.

Are you able to stick those fence tacks on your fences? It can deter cats going in or out as it’s uncomfottable, but he still gets to be outside. Or perhaps tell her he has a sudden health problem due to the food and she will have to foot the bill, bet she stops feeding him then!

This happened to us a few years ago so I know how you feel, we moved house a few months later (unrelated) and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. My boy is also 10 and mainly stays home or in the garden these days. Hope you get it sorted.

WarmthAndDepth · 17/08/2019 23:27

My neighbour is a feeder of local cats, and my boy cat just can't get enough of her food (girl cat thankfully not interested). I feed him a great diet, in just the right quantity for his size and age, but he gorges himself silly on cheap crap at my neighbour's and I get told off about his weight by the vet whenever we go for check ups. It makes me so cross. Neighbour puts saucers of food (and milk!) out outside her back door, and then a few plates 'leading in' to her kitchen, where there is more food laid on. The back door is always open and I know she isn't able to monitor who comes to eat. Short of stopping my boy from going out altogether, there's little I can do. Grrr.

JacquettaW · 18/08/2019 02:24

@Bookworm4 I doubt they would even notice if he wasn't around to be honest. He's actually part feral because of lack of care. At the moment he seems happy and he has a very good and solid shelter in my garden where he sleeps at night.

I'm a bit reluctant to approach the owners as they are not very nice people

Bookworm4 · 18/08/2019 02:41

@jacquetta
I’m glad he’s looked after, maybe Cats Protection might rehome him.

Beldon · 18/08/2019 20:47

I had a neighbour who came to have a stern word with me as my cat was ‘being starved’ and would cry at her door everyday. The cat had food out constantly at ours, but the neighbour was giving her tins of tuna twice a day for about a month apparently, so of course cat was going to keep going back asking for more. She was shocked when I pointed out her bowls on kitchen floor. Luckily she did stop. Really annoys me though, if genuine stray then call rescue centre, otherwise they could be causing health problems by feeding someone else’s pets

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