Need advice and ideas please women keeps feeding my cat

[Steph2541]

I've had him since he was born as his mom was my cat, he is very much an out door cat he is ten and still very young looking and energetic. The lady down the road feeds the stray cats in the street but she will not stop allowing my cat the eat aswell she only feeds him packet food. I don't unless tablets and medicines are needed or as treats. all my cats have lived with no health issues and all lived till atleast 18 years old. She knows where he lives and still insists on saying I can't feed one without the other. it's got that bad he now sleeps outside and dosent come home, I've collected him thousands of times and kept him in evan for 3 months but I'm running out of patience. No idea what I can do about it if anything. Anyone have any ideas

How do the cats she thinks are strays look? The chances are they are pets like yours. Strays generally look unkempt with fleas and ear mites, and if they are genuine strays or a feral colony she needs to get them rehomed or trapped and neutered.

I don't think you can stop her unfortunately, the only hope would be to get a rescue to talk to her to see she could actually be doing damage.

I've never seen them so cudnt say how they look.

There isn't really anything you can do apart from keep him in. But if he's grown up as an outdoor cat then he might be very unhappy being kept inside.

Sorry this happening OP. People who feed other people's pets, especially after they've been asked not to, are total wankers. I despise them.

She shouldn’t feed him.
But you can’t police that.
You can cat proof the back garden and only let him out the back.
Or carry on as things are and he won’t come back.

But that's it i can't stop him from going out the front ethier.

There's no such thing as "my cat". Dogs have owners, cats have staff. If you think you own a cat, you don't. You are it's temporary foster parent and if it decides to bugger off down the road because someone has nicer food, even though you've lavished love and affection on it for a decade, then you just have to suck it up.

It's a cat, it does what it wants, went it wants, how it wants. That's the deal you should know you're signing up to when you get one.

The problem is that I strongly doubt any of the cats are strays - they are pretty rare in the U.K. in cities - far more likely to be cats that wandered/deliberately left due to new baby etc

Well yes lifecraft only this woman only wants the cat visiting and attention

She doesn't want the responsibility

I hadn't thought of vet bills until pp said what happened with their relative

I don't see stray cats in uk

The people feeding 'strays' in uk are either feeding other people's pets and need to stop

Or should get in touch with org like cats protection league if they really don't have a home

It’s horrendously rude to feed other people’s cats. I had to rehome my old boy with my SIL a few years back because one ignorant nightmare wouldn’t listen to reason. Yes he wolfed down the food she put out every day - then promptly came home and chucked it up every where. And it was me they had to clean up the shit when he had the runs. Keeping him in made him desperately unhappy to the point of over grooming.

You wouldn’t dream of feeding someone else’s dog or rabbit. Whilst cats wander, it’s still no different. A cat who is brushed, defleaed, wearing a collar and not thin (and properly thin - not just not fat) is highly unlikely to be a stray and doesn’t need fed so don’t bloody feed them.

@Fraggling really?!? There are SO many stray cats in the UK, cats protection and other rescues are overrun
Better fed, the one I took to rescue off the streets the other day would have been dead if someone hadn't been feeding him
My own cat was stray for 4 years, I constantly collect cats that aren't chipped or neutered and have been killed by cars and take to the vets

Cats protection estimate NINE MILLION stray cats
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiDr527lYrkAhUI1RoKHRFCDswQzPwBegQIARAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Finews.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fuk%2Ffirst-uk-cat-census-cats-protection-help-strays-neutering-programme%2F&psig=AOvVaw2kEiOUAu2RjL6XFxehO8Hc&ust=1566140316703761

Bad link
https://inews.co.uk/news/uk/first-uk-cat-census-cats-protection-help-strays-neutering-programme/

Obviously I don't feed cats that I know are owned, or have collars etc etc but I follow @thecatneuterer advice and feed if cat appears to be stray

could you get a personalised safety collar made up with "serious allergies do not feed" or similar on it?

If you really want him to be yours only & he prefers packet food why not buy it. My cat will only eat two flavours of dried Go Cat, fresh chicken or 'naice' ham. Anything else, even tuna, she'll leave: even if she's starving or has missed a meal or two. What's wrong with a mix of packet food plus fresh meat or fish?

Wow you just don't see them in this borough.

Well there was one a few years ago that was mad but that's another story.

Thanks for the link.

As an aside re cats with collars, the flat opposite me just moved & left their 12month old tabby, with his collar on, behind. I've started feeding him outside only so as not to upset my cat, as he was skin & bone. It broke my heart the first time I stroked him & felt every bone in his spine sticking out a mile. I'd noticed before they left he got breakfast left in their porch but then nothing else: & they were never there.

don't see stray cats in uk

Plenty of stray cats where I live (east mids), one area is particularly known to CP as a problem area, but there's only so much they can do. I've rescued several with the help of CP, some looked in a ok state until you checked them over and saw the scars, fleas and bones under matted fur. CP would need to camp out and open a new rescue to clear this particular area. Some of the residents do what they can.

No real advice for you OP apart from speaking to the woman and offering to speak to one of your local rescues together (not rspca).

You might have tried this, but could you make sure cat is well fed before going out each time? That won't help if he is a greedy chops though.

Or is there a food that he will refuse to eat? If the neighbour does care, she might agree to start only putting that food out and he will hopefully refuse

Someone in our village fed my cats, I went round and told them they were on a special diet from the vets and it would make them poorly if she continued to do it. Was true for one of the cats and not the other but it worked....she did finally stop feeding them.

Why can’t you stop him going out the front?
As evidenced above by the bonkers “you don’t own cats” comments you can’t stop people feeding your cat and tempting him away from home. You can prevent him getting near her. Shouldn’t have to.

@Fraggling
It is a problem in many areas, I scan and reunite list cats/dogs but sadly many are dead and very few cats are chipped, we do post on SM in the hope an owner is found but often the cat has travelled in a van and the appeals aren’t seen or more commonly people move and leave the cat behind. Anyone with an outdoor cat should neuter and chip but unfortunately many don’t.

If u read it I do but if they only eat packet food then they get teeth problems and have to have them pulled out and it gives him the runs constantly so he can not have it for everymeal

And can't stop him from going out a window when it is open or if I go out the door and he sneaks out the front door

I wouldn't think of a cat as a stray just cos it's not chipped. Did that become a law? Also do they have to be neutered now? My gran had a Tom, really irresponsible, it was 30 years ago though.

Do people have cats that aren't allowed out more here now? I know it's a thing in the USA, I thought that culturally it was pretty unusual to have house cats here and a general feeling it's cruel. Has that changed, maybe as more people live in flats, or something?