To think the way I spend my child's DLA is fine and does benefit them?

[Catoninetails]

Bit of background, I'm a single parent with 2 DC, my youngest who is 7 has ASD and ADHD with sensory processing disorder as well. They haven't been able to attend school full time for over 12 months. As a result of this I had to cut my working hours significantly. I get child and working tax credits and partial housing benefit, and I also claim DLA on behalf of my disabled child (low rate mobility and middle rate care, which adds up to £327 a month plus a child tax credit premium for them).

I use this as follows:

-Seam free pure cotton clothing (needed for sensory reasons)
-Music lessons (recommended by occupation therapist for improving coordination and getting both sides of body working together better)
-Saving for an appointment at BIBIC (for assessments and therapy that the NHS can't afford to provide)
-Running a small elderly camper van so we can spend nights at the seaside etc (they cannot cope with sleeping in strange places so this gives familiar surroundings, these nights away are the only holidays we ever get and my child loves them, it's not a luxury motorhome by any means, just a van with beds and a cooker fitted into the back and it's our only vehicle)
-Buying items like a laminator (for making social stories and signs and lists to go around the house), a docking charger for their tablet (to stop the charging port getting fucked AGAIN from being carelessly plugged/unplugged), the sort of things that makes life that bit easier for them and therefore us!
-Magazine subscriptions for them (expensive special interest magazines that they love)

All of this is stuff that I couldn't afford if not for the DLA. And IMO it all benefits my child. But the DLA also goes towards the general running of the house now that my earnings have dropped - bills (higher now we are in the house more rather than being at work/school all day on weekdays), takeaways when we've had an awful day and I can't be arsed to cook, taking my older child for a treat day every couple of months when my younger child is with their dad (older child is classed as a young carer so they need to have that sort of time made for them). The camper van is also used as our daily vehicle for shopping trips etc.

I've seen posts on a DLA for children Facebook group saying that DLA should only be spent on the child it's paid for. Some parents saying they write down every penny of it and how it's spent, or have it paid into a seperate account in their child's name to keep track of it, or take it out weekly and keep it in an envelope and account for how they spend it all. They seem to think it's tantamount to financial abuse and fraud to do what I do 😕 and now I'm worried that I'm not spending it appropriately or keeping records of how it's spent etc.

It's fine. I've supported several families in their DLA application and there's often a feeling of having to justify even applying in the first place. I always tell them that they deserve the money because having a SN child can be expensive. Apart from all the important items you have listed, your SN child means that you can't earn as much as before, so it's perfectly fine for some of the money to pay towards household costs.

I don’t get DLA or anything like that, but I would imagine that DLA is meant to offset the extra costs of having a disabled child and the more limited working options for the household. I think you are using it entirely reasonably. To be honest, if you chose to use it to go to the spa once a month so you could have a mental break and be a better parent, then I would think that was justified too, so long as your child had their needs met.

I have no experience of this but sounds to me as though you're doing a great job!

It's like Child Benefit- does anyone write down what they spend that on ?!!

Evem if the op.did have a range rover Dorset nd home it wouldn't mattress DLA is non means tested so if a child meets the criteria they get it if they live but n a high rise council flat or a sprawling country mansion,

Check that you are also receiving the disability element of child tax credits.

Yep another one who thinks you are doing a completely fantastic job. (Which you wouldn’t be able to do if you didn’t spend the money as you do. It’s what it’s meant to be for. To help your child. You ARE helping your child.) Good luck to you OP.

I can’t see anything on the list that doesn’t really benefit the kids so I think your fine!
Keep doing what you are doing

DLA is paid to help towards the extra cost of disability and therefore you spend it on whatever you need to which includes household expenses

Exactly this, i don't use my disablity benefit directly on stuff for my disablity, i use it for living, ie i use a meal box service because i cant use supermarkets, i buy a bus pass to go to work cos i don't drive, i'm pretty sure some of it goes towards my rent and electricity.
Anything thats costs because of the disablity, putting a roof of a childs head is a cost because of a disablity, sure you'd have to do it if he wasnt disabled but you could work more if he wasn't so its a cost you wouldnt have so much if he wasn't disabled. And i'm absolutely sure your child is benifiting from having a home, food, water, heat amd light.

so if a child meets the criteria they get it if they live but n a high rise council flat or a sprawling country mansion

Exactly didnt dave camerons son get DLA???

We use DLA (and tax credits) to cover the cost of having a parent stay at home. Household income before disabled child was £80k. It is now £25k. We can't make up the shortfall even with DLA, but it allows us to bridge some of the gap and have a parent on hand at all times.

In reality all parents spend all their money on their children regardless of where it comes from.

Yes because DLA isn't means tested. It's there to pay towards some of the costs of having a disabled child.

Spend it however you see fit.

I don't know much about DLA but I'm a single parent on a low income, I get tax credits, child benefit and child maintenance from my ex. I don't reserve any of these specific payments for specific things, it all goes in the same pot with my wages and I use all of it for household costs, other necessities for DS AND for luxuries.

No, DLA (underv16s) and PIP (16+) are to help with living expenses. You are using it for that. DLA and PIP are not means tested so better off parents have the luxury of just saving the money. You don’t, you have to use it for basic needs of your child. I think it’s admirable how you are using the money.

I get DLA for my daughter who has autism. It just gets used for my general life expenses (e.g, food, bills, buying food, running a car, odd days out), which I think do benefit DD.

The only time I would really judge someone for how they spent DLA is if they were spending it all on alcohol / cigarettes etc, or something else that really did not benefit their child at all.

ds1’s DLA was spent mostly on household bills as both dh and I reduced our hours so that one of us was always available for him. This benefited him and also his younger brothers who sometimes missed out when activities weren’t suitable for ds1. He now has a university degree and a (albeit very part time) job that he wouldn’t have managed without the extra support.

so if a child meets the criteria they get it if they live but n a high rise council flat or a sprawling country mansion

DLA is not means tested. But if you are on a low income, you can get other disability related benefits on top of Dla (tax credits disability elements, carers allowance etc). So someone 'poor' will end up getting more in disability benefits than someone 'rich' if that makes sense.

It's still too little to have a decent quality of life if you are not well off.

It sounds like you're spending it very carefully and wisely, you really don't have to justify yourself , it's not like you're blowing it on drink and drugs and meeting the general expenses of running a household does benefit your DC.
I'd come off that FB page if I were you, it sounds crazy.

Yes the Cameron's ,did get it for their profoundly disabled child, which is exactly how it should be ,I guess if some people are more well off than they can use the DLA to directly benefit their child, but if your on a low income often it goes to general house hold stuff and helping to have at least one parent at home

My DS has been in receipt of DLA for 25 years (he's 28 now and lives with me). I have NEVER been asked how it's spent. Neither have I kept a record. Are you sure these parents aren't getting confused with direct payments? - money from social services that does have to be accounted for.

I know it is Badcup as I'm one of those less well off with a disabled child however I was replying in a poster who made reference to range rover in the drive and a second home, explaining it wouldn't matter if the Op did have those things as DLA is non means tested

I think some people simply aren't intelligent enough to realise that you don't need to spend money directly on a child in order for that child to directly benefit. Ignore those facebook posts, they're talking twaddle.

I have anxiety and recently became VERY anxious about how I was spending DS's DLA (MRC), it goes into my account same as my wages and is grouped in with mine and DP's income. So obviously with it being in with all the other money I suppose it goes towards everything that leaves my bank. I had visions of people coming to question me and all sorts. But he gets what he needs, special cutlery, plates, bowls, chewies, he gets absolutely everything he needs so surely that's good enough.

Firstly, don't listen to Facebook!

Secondly, the money is to help you manage the financial difficulties presented by your child having a disability, such as having to work less hours, go to appointments and use resources you would not need if your child did not have the disability.

I don't think it would be unreasonable in anyway to use some towards days out for your other child who is also impacted by their sibling having a disability.

Ultimately it is for you to use for your family in whichever way helps the most.

I would second what others have said about making sure you are receiving everything that you are entitled to re housing.

×2boys i wasnt doubting their right to claim it. I'm actally really pleased they did they were entitled to it. To me it showed exactly what DLA was meant for making a disabled childs life better no matter who his arents were. people are often put off claiming because well "you don't need it" when they really do and their entitled too.

I reallised my response sounded a bit sneery. I was just using them of hlw not means tested it is.