To think the way I spend my child's DLA is fine and does benefit them?

[Catoninetails]

Bit of background, I'm a single parent with 2 DC, my youngest who is 7 has ASD and ADHD with sensory processing disorder as well. They haven't been able to attend school full time for over 12 months. As a result of this I had to cut my working hours significantly. I get child and working tax credits and partial housing benefit, and I also claim DLA on behalf of my disabled child (low rate mobility and middle rate care, which adds up to £327 a month plus a child tax credit premium for them).

I use this as follows:

-Seam free pure cotton clothing (needed for sensory reasons)
-Music lessons (recommended by occupation therapist for improving coordination and getting both sides of body working together better)
-Saving for an appointment at BIBIC (for assessments and therapy that the NHS can't afford to provide)
-Running a small elderly camper van so we can spend nights at the seaside etc (they cannot cope with sleeping in strange places so this gives familiar surroundings, these nights away are the only holidays we ever get and my child loves them, it's not a luxury motorhome by any means, just a van with beds and a cooker fitted into the back and it's our only vehicle)
-Buying items like a laminator (for making social stories and signs and lists to go around the house), a docking charger for their tablet (to stop the charging port getting fucked AGAIN from being carelessly plugged/unplugged), the sort of things that makes life that bit easier for them and therefore us!
-Magazine subscriptions for them (expensive special interest magazines that they love)

All of this is stuff that I couldn't afford if not for the DLA. And IMO it all benefits my child. But the DLA also goes towards the general running of the house now that my earnings have dropped - bills (higher now we are in the house more rather than being at work/school all day on weekdays), takeaways when we've had an awful day and I can't be arsed to cook, taking my older child for a treat day every couple of months when my younger child is with their dad (older child is classed as a young carer so they need to have that sort of time made for them). The camper van is also used as our daily vehicle for shopping trips etc.

I've seen posts on a DLA for children Facebook group saying that DLA should only be spent on the child it's paid for. Some parents saying they write down every penny of it and how it's spent, or have it paid into a seperate account in their child's name to keep track of it, or take it out weekly and keep it in an envelope and account for how they spend it all. They seem to think it's tantamount to financial abuse and fraud to do what I do 😕 and now I'm worried that I'm not spending it appropriately or keeping records of how it's spent etc.

I’m in a couple of DLA groups on Facebook and they are utterly crazy at times. Just don’t ever mention reporting a change of circumstances (you’ll just get stories of children with profound disabilities having their award removed completely) or people banging on about how diagnosis is irrelevant (of course it bloody isn’t).

Of course it’s fine. My mum claimed higher rate disability when her disability forced her to give up her job. It just went on household bills.

It sounds like you are a great parent

In 20+ years of benefits advice work I have never known the DWP or its predecessors ask a recipient of DLA what they spend their money on. It is intended to cover the additional costs of disability whatever they may be.

Crack on my love you are doing a great job 💐

You sound like you've put a lot of thought into doing the absolute best for your family on a very tight budget. Wanting to give them holidays and fun is healthy and normal, and your campervan idea is just brilliant. Don't let some nobs on FB worry you.

I thought you were going to say you spent it on clothes for yourself or something daft! What you've listed sounds exactly like what it should be spent on, improving the standard of your children's lives!

If it helps, my Dad's Attendance Allowance (old person's equivalent of DLA) got spent on higher heating bills, higher washing bills, buying him nice food to eat and paying off their credit card debts. Apart from the washing which was endless, my DM benefitted from all of these things too - she liked having the heating on and shopping at M&S Food!

Like Iloveantiques I've never heard of anyone being asked what they spent their award on in 15 years of helping people get the benefit. Once it's yours, it's yours.

I think you are worrying for no reason.

I don’t know anything about DLA at all so have nothing helpful to say, but I wanted to say that it sounds like you are doing a great job for your kids.

Catoninetails Agree with other posters that you are making good use of the DLA although you could take a look on Entitledto www.entitledto.co.uk/ to see if there are any other benefits you could claim. For instance, you might be entitled to Carers Allowance if you have given up work to care. DLA was introduced to cover the costs of disability - whether this was taxis, special food, whatever so there never was any expectation people kept records of how they spent it. I wonder if the parents on the Facebook group you mention have mixed it up with Direct Payments. Direct Payments come via the council and different councils do have different policies about how recipients (or those supporting them) spend it. With Direct Payments, you would need to keep a record of what it is spent on.

You can spend it on what you want. No one will ask how you spend it!
Your FB friends can write down everything they spend it on if they want but there's no earthly need for them to do so.

Other people's opinion is irrelevant. We used to get it for DC2 and it just went into the bank along with all our other income.

I removed myself for a few groups based around DLA/ASD after being in them for months and realising that they didn't bring anything positive into my life at all.

It sounds like you are doing a great job of knowing your DC. People on these groups are trolls who like to scare people and think they know it all. Highly recommend leaving the group.

X posting here with AnnaM and Iloveantiques

My ASD Ds is now 22 and has had DLA/PIP since he was 9.
It still gets paid into our household account, with his permission.
It allowed me to work a schedule that meant I could pick him up from school as he couldn't deal with childcare.

It still pays for me to do most of his organisation for him, despite him being a Uni student now. He's gets anxious while travelling unless it's a very familiar route so I take him to most places he needs to go. He won't talk to strangers in shops, barbers etc so I take him to those places.

He's never had a job as he struggles to talk to people so he's never had to pay any board here, despite being nearly 23.

Basically, I'm his assistant and the PIP money has allowed me to be that and for my career (nurse) to take a back seat as I couldn't work the full time shifts that I might have otherwise.

There are a 100 reasons for the money and 100 ways to spend it. Everyone is different. Don't worry.

@Catoninetails

As long as the money is benefiting the kids, and you and the family, and the quality of life of all of you, then crack on lass! You sound like a fab mother!

I taught a boy whose parents spent every penny on their DLA on their second holiday home and told him this openly, as part of their emotional abuse of him but they were nasty abusive shits
Clearly you do not own a rangerover on the driveway or second holiday home in Cornwall so rest assured if you were investigated there would be no paper trail to form a case against you.

You don’t need to justify this at all and never should feel as though you have to.

Yeah it sounds like it’s being used for exactly what it’s for. I get it paid into a separate account purely so I don’t “lose” it in the main account. Clothes replacements (he chews through his stuff), wooden floor (hates the feel of carpet), a weighted blanket, all come from the dla. It’s bloody difficult to get DLA so if you’re getting it you’re elgibible as far as i am
Concerned.

rest assured if you were investigated there would be no paper trail to form a case against you

I'm sorry but please don't add fuel to the idea this happens. It doesn't.

*eligible 🙄

DLA for my DS goes into our joint account and is spent on family and household expenditures.

I didn’t work at all for 3 years when my child was going through diagnosis and out of school for some time. I work less hours than I would now because there is no childcare that exists for a child with my DS’s needs.

Don’t feel guilty or justify it.

There are no rules on how DLA and PIP is spent. I use mine for therapy and things that make my mental health better. Ignore those parents that accuse you of financial abuse as its daft.

We've been receiving DLA for our son for just under ten years, have never been investigated and suspect it only happens when the parents are under suspicion for benefit fraud for other reasons. Our son's DLA goes into the family pot of money and there's no way I could delineate its spending from other funds. If we need to buy something for him, we simply do so; he is not left wanting because we've spent "his" money on ourselves.

Op you sound like your doing a fab job.

I find it weird that you feel the need to justify where the money goes. At the end of the day you probably operate one current account that all cash goes in and out of.

Who can argue that the £20 you spent on petrol was out of the allowance or out you wages?
Who can argue which drop of fuel was used to run you to work vs which drop was used to take DS to an appointment.

Sometimes people want to 'boost' (Not sure that's the right word) that they are doing more for their kids than others.

Totally fine and I've had to give up my job due to caring for my son and him constantly being sent home from school etc. I now also claim carers allowance which isn't much compared to my previous part time salary but better than nothing. Are you eligible to claim this too if you work less than 16 hours a week I think?

I spend dla on an annual pass to trampoline park as our garden isn't big enough to have our own and he benefits this. Also things like swimming and other sporting activities for both him and his siblings (who deserve a treat and some time off from the stress of having a sibling with additional needs) and days to the zoo or seaside in the holidays which I wouldn't be able to afford now I'm not working.

I have no experience of DLA but I just wanted to post that you sound like a fabulous, thoughtful and considerate mum. They're lucky to have you!