AIBU to think people who say they're 'only' having 2 children for environmental reasons drive me nuts?

[thedaisychain]

Surely, if you were genuinely concerned about the environment, or it was a big factor when considering the size and shape of your family, you'd have no children or possibly just one?!

Saying you're not having more than two children for environmental reasons really grates me. Given the total fertility rate for women in the UK is 1.9, it's not like they're doing anything fucking special! They're just the average!

People who say this, get down from your high horse!

(P.s. Prolific name changer)

[ControversialFerret]

DtPeabodysLoosePants that calculator is really helpful, thank you. It's given me some tips on where to cut back; my footprint is less than the UK average but still well above the world target. Some things I can't change - I have to drive for work - but there are others like diet that I can do something about. No DC here either, although I notice that the calculator doesn't go into detail there - presumably because it's such a sensitive topic?

[DtPeabodysLoosePants]

I'm not virus signalling before anyone says that. I've been veggie since 1992, I don't drive and can't afford to fly anywhere or eat take aways so that's why I don't. The environment wasn't a factor in my choices but I'm glad they help.

[Mumminmum]

@Dyrne Don't know how to tell you this, but it is so not a "new thing" to talk about the environmental impact of having children. I learned about it in school more than 30 years ago.

We would have loved to have 3 children and the environmental impact actually was a part of our discussion. If I hadn't had PCO, we would probably have ended up with 3. Oh well. Now I have learned that I can pretend to only have two children because I am holier than thou. Lucky me.

[thedaisychain]

Glad to know I'm not the only one!!

My eyes roll so far in the back of my head when people with 2 children say this.

I'm all for going green and if you genuinely want to save the planet, stop at 1! When you have 2 kids and say this stuff, you look like a right idiot.

[Dyrne]

Err Mumminmum that’s exactly my point? The environmental impact has been known for years; so the annoying berk on my fb feed with 3 grown up DC should have known better even back then and so has no right to be an annoying virtue signaller now when she’s picking and choosing what to virtue signal about.

You see it on Mn as well: “well I may have 4 DC but there’s NO WAY I could have known about the impact 5 whole years ago, so I can berate this poor woman now for daring to buy some pre-packaged hummus”

[thedaisychain]

@TapasForTwo your whole post wins 😂 ❤️

[ControversialFerret]

I'm infertile but our decision not to pursue invasive treatment was down to environmental and family factors. Climate change wasn't the primary environmental concern - more societal factors - but the state of the planet did feature in there. That's not to say we've congratulated ourselves on 'being 100% green'; far from it. We eat meat, we drive, we go on short haul holidays.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

From anecdotal experience, most people who stop at 1 or 2, do it for reasons of finance - cost (in the U.K.) of housing, childcare, etc. I haven't heard personally of anyone saying it's for noble environmental reasons.
I know of more than one couple who'd have loved 3 or more - if money wasn't an issue.

[DappledThings]

We have 2 and won't have anymore for a variety of reasons. Being uncomfortable with going beyond replacing ourselves in terms of numbers of people is one of them but I wouldn't go on about it being am environmental decision.

[Camomila]

Well if they were originally planning 3 or 4 but then decided not to because of environmental concerns then they are just being honest aren't they?

[ChildminderMum]

Well I wanted 5 children but stopped at 3, so to be honest I feel a lot more virtuous than someone who wanted 2 and had 2.

[Huntlybyelection]

Only read OP.

I'm going to have 6 children. It's for the good of the planet because I recycle and try not to purchase unnecessary things. So by instilling these virtues into my many Children, I will ensure they do their bit to protect the planet, educate others and generally be a shining light in climate change activism.

You are all very welcome.

[bluegirlgreen]

@thedaisychain

Any kind of smug, virtue-signalling pisses me off. Do something good and positive (or that YOU deem as good and positive,) by all means. But don't crow about it, and look down your nose at (and criticise) people who don't do the same; It makes you look like an arsehole.

YANBU.

[SleepingStandingUp]

I'd assumed this was a dig at PJ and MM with him declaring he wouldn't have more than two (unlike his terrible brother) because of Env reasons (Meghan age) only for it to be made public a few days later they'd had a private jet to Ibiza.

I'd say the more "environmentally conscious" families I know have more than 2 children, no flights, off grid as much as possible, no car, veggie / vegan.
The families I know with one or two by design have stopped at that in order to afford nice holidays abroad, a good car but not massive, plenty of room in their nice house, expensive childcare etc

I planned two but now there's three, oops. Not planed or my fault 😂

[thedaisychain]

@ChildminderMum so the cost of living, housing, transport etc., didn't come in to it? It was largely due to environmental reasons you only had 3 children?
Wow, thank you so much for saving our planet with your selflessness 👏🏼

[ScreamingValenta]

I've never heard anyone say this.

I don't have any children (the environment was not my primary motivation to stay childfree, although it was one of a number of background incentives) and no one has ever congratulated me on my low environmental footprint. On the contrary, when I was still young enough to have children, all I got were negative comments.

[whattodowith]

YANBU. Probably the same people who go on holiday every year, drive a 4x4 (maybe even have two), use disposable nappies, eat meat every day et al. Pure hypocrisy.

[m0therofdragons]

It's the smugness that annoys me. I had dd1 and then dtds so I hear this then they look at me and and remember I have 3dc and announce I don't count in their criticism of more than 2

The thing is, if people don't say knobbish things, how would we know who the knobs are? In a way it's helpful

[DurhamDurham]

I was clearly well ahead of the times when I made the decision to only have two children 26 years ago, I'll start telling people it was for environmental reasons rather than affordability

[spatchcock]

Sometimes I wish I hadn't had my children. I'm so worried about the future they are facing, and when they talk about growing up and having their own children they are so optimistic I get a lump in my throat. I wasn't very aware when I had them, but I am now.

I wish we could stop sniping about "virtue signalling" and work as a team instead of finger pointing and sneering.

[ChildminderMum]

@thedaisychain you're so welcome. Not much difference between 3 and 4 or 5 in terms of cost, housing and transport but I'm prepared to make the sacrifice for the planet.

[Skittlenommer]

I think in addition to the environmental reasons more and more people are realising that having children is just one big pain in the arse. Financially, emotionally, practically!

Women used to have babies because it was what was done, more and more women now see other possibilities for their life be it academics, travel, whatever!

[Skittlenommer]

@ChildminderMum Not much difference between 3 and 4 or 5 in terms of cost, housing and transport but I'm prepared to make the sacrifice for the planet

There is a HUGE difference in terms of planet obliterating emissions! Although it doesn’t bother me. It won’t be my kids fighting for resources in the future.

[ScrimshawTheSecond]

Yes, YABU. You'd best get used to people discussing how to best reduce their carbon impact, and try not to be so defensive about it. We all need to do better, there isn't really an alternative.

[ChildminderMum]

@Skittlenommer exactly hun, I've had two less children so my reduction is massive!