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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset DD couldn't go out with her friends to celebrate A level results?

110 replies

Needtobelessemotional · 16/08/2019 18:56

Just that really. DD is 17, not 18 until late August. She is the youngest in her friend group and they all went out clubbing to celebrate, she couldn't go because she's not 18. She is devestated as now they're all posting pictures on social media.

OP posts:

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 16/08/2019 21:22

My DS wasn't 18 until a month after his freshers week.

EH? How? WHY?

How did he start uni at 17???

My mate was 16. She had a January birthday which, in Scotland, made her one of the youngest in the year. She went straight after 5th year instead of staying on for 6th year. So, 16.

thenightsky · 16/08/2019 21:25

My DS was the same. Birthday 31st August.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/08/2019 21:27

Yep it’s pretty strict in our town. Summer born DD2 used DD1’s ID on many occasions.

On the plus side, when she went to uni she got kids fares on the city transport system for the whole of the first year until she turned 19 (Dublin), which saved her quite a bit as halls were a fair distance from uni.

Waterdropsdown · 16/08/2019 21:33

I didn’t turn 18 until the end of January after starting uni in September.
Only place that you really needed ID was the union. My friends and I never went there. Helped that some other friends had Oct/Nov birthdays so at the start it wasn’t just me.
Someone has to be last.

JammyGem · 16/08/2019 21:42

I was the same with a late summer birthday.

My friend gave me her sister's old passport to use as ID. If it was ever refused for being expired (or because I only bore a passing resemblance to her sister) I would say to my friend in earshot of the bouncer about not to worry about giving me a lift home, have a good time and I'll just walk home. 9 times out of 10 the guilt trip was enough to convince the bouncers to wave me in.

Rachelover40 · 16/08/2019 21:48

I don't understand why she couldn't go. I used to go to things when I was under eighteen, who is going to ask?

SeaSaltandLime · 16/08/2019 21:52

Don't know why everyone is so gobsmacked that she can't get in underage.

Clubs/pubs have machines at the door now to scan ID. The picture comes up on the screen massively enlarged so they can get a good look to see if it's actually you.
If the ID is fake a big red cross pops up.

You can't just get in now!

SeaSaltandLime · 16/08/2019 21:56

If you're under 18 (21 or even 25 in some places) you're not getting in!

Mummyshark2018 · 16/08/2019 21:59

I was going to clubs when I was 15. Has she never been to a bar or club even though she's so close to age? Failing that could she not have arranged to go for dinner and have a few celebratory drinks - if that's what she wanted?

DonnaDarko · 16/08/2019 22:01

Everywhere IDs you now over a certain times. in some places, even the shitty wetherspoon. Some places even have machines to scan your ID...Its definitely not as easy to get and it sounds like it's our generation that ruined it for the young ones now

Maybe take her out for a really nice dinner? I think she might still be legally allowed to drink in restaurants.

CoughSplutter · 16/08/2019 22:04

Sounds like she needs a house party!

OwlinaTree · 16/08/2019 22:38

I don't understand why she couldn't go. I used to go to things when I was under eighteen, who is going to ask?

Umm the door staff? Have you been to a nightclub?

BlueThursday · 16/08/2019 22:48

Aw I feel for her; my first few weeks of uni I couldn’t be served at the bar. Made up for it massively in the following months

Topsecretidentity · 16/08/2019 22:51

Surely she could have borrowed ID. I look very young for my age and forgot my ID last year so borrowed my friend's passport to get in (who was with me so we went in 2 separate parties so she could use her drivers while I used her passport) ...and it was fine (even with the scanner thing)- so long as it's a blurry photo they only check quickly especially in a busy nightclub. For next time she just needs to memorize the Id's name and DOB.

They do check more these days than when I was a teen but it's still not that difficult to get in and teenage girls look so much older these days

Topsecretidentity · 16/08/2019 22:54

@SeaSaltandLime yeh fakes are a definite no with the scanner. But borrowing a friends real spare one has never come up wrong for me with the scanners. It blows up the pic,sure, but ID pics are normally blurry and dodge looking.

Celaeno · 16/08/2019 22:55

I do get that she feels a bit hacked off but it’s only one night. Two weeks of August to go and she’ll be out clubbing with them.

And if it’s any consolation, there’s downsides to being the eldest in the year too... my September born dd was thrilled to turn 18 but of course hardly any of her school friends could drink or go clubbing with her. And when she was little, it seemed an age until she could start school - she was tall, looked older and would have been more than ready soon after turning 4. Bummer for me too paying nursery fees (no free hours then) until 2 weeks before she turned 5.
Someone’s got to be youngest just as someone’s got to be eldest.
Presumably they did all the pre drinking and getting ready at someone’s house though... did she get to that?

honeyloops · 16/08/2019 22:59

I'm a late August birthday - I just borrowed ID, but I'd been going out for about a year by then (mostly to a relatively strict club with a scanner, too!). Unless you're a real baby face, it wasn't that difficult - but that was 11 years ago.

Grandmi · 16/08/2019 23:00

All my children when they got ALevel results had friends who were still underage ...its amazing how they managed to errr borrow ID from friends older siblings 😁

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 16/08/2019 23:07

I wasn’t 18 until the end of my first year at uni - Scottish, was put up a year in primary school...

Didn’t stop me from drinking when I was underage...

Op, have a party at yours and invite all her friends. But couldn’t she borrow some ID?

cece · 16/08/2019 23:11

I get asked for id and I'm in my 50s. They do it to everyone.

ohtheholidays · 16/08/2019 23:13

I was just coming onto say could you let her have a results party at home?

That way she gets to celebrate with all of her friends,her mates all get to celebrate with her and get a really good,really cheap night out and they'll all have the pictures of them all together to look back at in years to come and you will be known as the best parent ever by your DD.

Congratulations to your DD

LimitIsUp · 16/08/2019 23:15

Apparently there is a boy at dd's sixth form college who charges £30 for fake id and his customers vouch for the fact that they work. Dd is buying one (her friends are all older than her)

Bit mean of your dd's friends not to do something like a meal first followed by a club

Brainwashed · 19/08/2019 18:35

@zeezee3 17 at start of university as in Scotland. Not even the youngest in the year.

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2019 18:41

I get why your DD is upset but as a parent I would not be upset at all. Result’s nights tend to consist of 18 years olds getting very drunk, very messy from early on. As a parent I would have sympathy with my child’s fear of missing out but also happy that they are not out on one of the worst days for teenage drinking.

This.

Coconutbug · 19/08/2019 18:43

I think you can feel upset but these things happen. I wouldn't expect all of her friends to not go out just because one can't. Do they not go out on nights out already? Can she borrow someone's ID?
It is really hard I miss out on loads because of DC but don't expect my friends not to go out just because I can't!

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