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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset DD couldn't go out with her friends to celebrate A level results?

110 replies

Needtobelessemotional · 16/08/2019 18:56

Just that really. DD is 17, not 18 until late August. She is the youngest in her friend group and they all went out clubbing to celebrate, she couldn't go because she's not 18. She is devestated as now they're all posting pictures on social media.

OP posts:
NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 16/08/2019 19:34

They are so strict now with ID, my eldest lent hers to someone in similar circumstances and they took photos so are now both banned. She’s not happy.

OnGoldenPond · 16/08/2019 19:39

My birthday is end of August but I am of an age when checking ID was unheard of. Me and my mates had been regularly drinking at the local pub since we were 16 so post A level celebrations weren't a problem. Grin

Haffdonga · 16/08/2019 19:39

They are always especially strict on results day. Bad luck to your dd but what did you think should happen? Are you suggesting her friends shouldn't have gone out or posted their photos?

Perhaps your dd can persuade her friends to go out again to celebrate her 18th birthday and A level results soon.

YahBasic · 16/08/2019 19:40

Clubs have definitely changed in over 20 years Grin

I remember the same pain, seeing all my friends going out but knowing I couldn’t go as all the pubs/bars/clubs in the area put extra security on for results night.

Saving grace is that this is the last year that it matters. I’m 30 next week whereas my friends are 31 in the next 3 months.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 16/08/2019 19:41

@Needtobelessemotional
that's rotten-could she have some friends round for drinks at yours?

Just so she gets a chance to celebrate too??

Serin · 16/08/2019 19:46

Our DD was just the same.
Graduated at 20
Has spent a year travelling/working as an au pair and is still only 21!
It hurts not to be allowed in but clubs can lose their licences so they are extra vigilant these days .

LoubyLou1234 · 16/08/2019 19:47

A lot of places now are really strict on ID eg they want a passport or something else very official with a photo eg driving license. So it's not as easy as hiding in a group or using someone else's.
I was still getting asked for my ID as I got to thirty ( no way I looked 18) but in some cases you could still be refused. This was in the city. Local pubs were a little less bothered about ID. Yet at 17 when I looked honestly about 14 I got into places as back then not as strict.... times change!!
My nephews and nieces get asked for ID everywhere nowadays.

Carinattheliqorstore1 · 16/08/2019 19:50

I think years ago the ID checks weren’t really that strict. I was clubbing from 15. But these days even adults need to show id quite a lot to buy a bottle of wine

Brainwashed · 16/08/2019 19:53

My DS wasn't 18 until a month after his freshers week

zeezee3 · 16/08/2019 19:54

Awww poor lass! Sad

Happened to a few of my kids friends this did. 2 mates in her group have late August birthdays, and so they all waited til they hit 18.

Shame the kids here could not have done the same.

@Needtobelessemotional

Maybe she can go out in a few weeks?!

Hope she did well! Smile

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2019 19:54

I too was clubbing at 15. No ID required, didn't even think about it.

Now we have Think 25 so if you look younger than 25 you will be asked for ID. Pubs and clubs have a lot to lose as people can get sent in by the authorities as a test to see if ID is valid and checked.

StarlingsInSummer · 16/08/2019 19:56

Gosh, are they really so careful in nightclubs these days to ensure people aren’t under 18?! I was going clubbing at the weekend from age 15 or 16, the only time I got asked for ID was the week after my 18th birthday!

Poor DD, that really sucks for her.

zeezee3 · 16/08/2019 19:56

@Brainwashed

My DS wasn't 18 until a month after his freshers week.

EH? How? WHY?

How did he start uni at 17???

RadicalFern · 16/08/2019 19:58

zeezee3 He might be Scottish, or might have been to an American school.

OP I don’t think your DD is BU to be sad. It is sad not to be able to join in.

PixieLumos · 16/08/2019 20:00

Why couldn't she go? I used to go clubbing when I was 14.

Have you been clubbing lately? They ID people who are blatantly in their late 20s and scan your driving licence in a machine on the way in to some places. It’s really not the same anymore.

pumpkinpie01 · 16/08/2019 20:00

My DD is one of the youngest as well but has been borrowing ID all year , I don't think she looks like any of her friends but she hadn't been refused entry anywhere yet. But the big bonus is when they go out to celebrate her 18th everyone will be able to go without anyone worrying about whether they will or won't get in .

StealthPolarBear · 16/08/2019 20:07

zeezee3 same here, I turned 18 at the end of October in my first year at university. I was put up a year when I moved schools aged 7.
I went out drinking all through sixth form!

Likethebattle · 16/08/2019 20:07

Out of my group of friends at school:
1 in March
Me in May
1 in July
1 in October
1in December and
1 the following February who just made it into our school year when she was 4 (we are in Scotland). It was a bit rubbish that we had to wait almost a year to go out in the city. We’d been going to the local pub since the age of 15!

amusedbush · 16/08/2019 20:08

I work in university admissions and I’ve seen a couple of people apply from 5th year (equivalent to AS level year) and some of them are 16 when they start (turning 17 shortly after).

Those people have a higher drop out/false start rate. I think the social side of university is a big part of that.

amusedbush · 16/08/2019 20:09

@Likethebattle

My best friend at secondary school was the same. My birthday is in May and she wouldn’t turn the same age until the following February.

CherryPavlova · 16/08/2019 20:10

Two for mine are late August babies. One would rather have burned her eyes out than go clubbing; she’d been up all night waiting for UCAS confirmation online which finally dropped in about 5:30 am. No sleep at all so a nice supper an early night.
The other one bought ID that was ritually passed down through the school. £40 for two items. You just had to find someone with a sibling who was an older ex pupil that looked like you.

Iggly · 16/08/2019 20:11

It’s better to stay off social media. Turn the phone off. Can you take her out for dinner?

HowManyToes · 16/08/2019 20:12

That’s rotten ☹️ I turned 18 on the LAST day of freshers week, missed all the fun, it was rubbish.

butterflyinsky · 16/08/2019 20:13

I can relate. Birthday 30th August. You are not BU one bit. It sucks. I’m not going to lie, I did borrow ID to get it but that was some years ago, things have probably changed.
Have her friends said anything about it? Like going out again when she turns 18?
I turn 29 later on this month. My three best friends all hit 30 between this coming September-December. It is going to be nice to be the last to hit that milestone, I must admit.

Clarissa111 · 16/08/2019 20:13

My daughter was exactly the same. The pubs and clubs are a lot stricter now than when I was underage! But she got over it quickly and has made up for it since she started uni!
I know its rubbish being the only one left behind, but the people saying her friends shouldnt have gone? It's a big deal for these ones just turned 18 and they deserve to celebrate. It's not like theyve left her deliberately and I'm sure they felt bad she couldnt join them. Next week it will be forgotten.