To think a lot of affluent people in the UK are quite miserable?

[AliceAbsolum]

Maybe it's the circles I move in, but I see so many people who are not happy. I'm assuming they're not happy because:

-They're on antidepressants
-They use alcohol or food excessively
-They talk about moving away to a different place
-They talk about struggling with everyday life (kids/parents/jobs)
-They have time off work for stress
-They work long hours and feel overwhelmed
-Some are obsessed with exercise and clean eating and seem very tense

I feel like living in the UK (and not in poverty, as that's a whole different story) is such a privilege. I wouldn't last a week living on a dollar a day without electricity or running water! So why are so many people miserable?
For me I have come to the conclusion that I need more time outside. I spent a lot of time, especially in the winter staring at a screen, I feel like I'm surrounded by concrete and consumed by work stress. I don't feel like I have a strong sense of community (small family who live far away, and no children as an older millennial).

Do you think most people you know are happy with the lifestyle and culture in the UK?

You can work hard and still not be comfortable. You can also work full-time and still not be comfortable.

Topsecret thank you.

Helena yes and even in work, bereavement leave is often two days or no days, so into holiday and unpaid leave.

I had one colleague use all her annual leave when her father was dying of cancer, they kept thinking he was about to go.

My manager actually lied to HR about me working from home when I was at dad’s because she was worried the same thing would happen and was trying to buy me time.

The only reason me and my colleague were able to take unpaid leave was that we were okay for money. I think bereavement would have been worse for both of us if we’d been living hard to mouth.

As for the person saying “it’s better not to ever have had certain options” I really think that’s shit. And kind of screams “check your privilege”.

*dad’s bedside, that should say!

Interesting thread. I chose a non-high-powered, modestly-paid career compared with most of my university contemporaries. Started out in London but have moved to increasingly rural places. Don't spend a lot on holidays, haveoldish second-hand cars etc. I don't envy them their money or lifestyle, because it sounds stressful and overwhelming.

I agree that we often lack a real sense of community, and I think social media isolates us from seeking that. Plus it pits pressure on people to always be buying more stuff and having Insta-perfect family lives.

I've been a single working parent and been relatively well off, I've been a single parent on benefits and very poor.

We're what would be deemed as affluent, my dh works full time in a highly paid job that he enjoys and it's only a 10 minute commute. I work part time in a just above minimum wage job that I enjoy. We don't have to worry about money.

I'm most happy as we are now, we seem to have somehow struck the right balance. We decided a couple of years ago that we weren't interested in a bigger house or extra stuff, we went necessary minimalist and we don't shop as a hobby. We don't have high needs of materialistic stuff at all.

I do wonder how many people like our family there are out there?

I have carried out my own little audit of this.

I have worked as a Community Nurse for 21 years ranging from the depths of deprivation (very inner city, gangs, shootings), to working class folk who just want to get on with life, to the middle classes to mega wealthy footballers type wealth.

In all of those areas I would hands down say the richest were the most miserable, hardest people to be around.

I was moved fro the wealthy area to the inner city and by god it was a joy!

My small perspective is that I work as a public sector lawyer and I get a huge amount of job satisfaction out of what I do. Many/most of my friends who are the similar level of qualification but working in huge law firms/commercial chambers (for double or triple my salary) are fed up. This leads me to wonder whether working in something that has a wider social impact is ultimately more rewarding than financial gains, when you compare people working in a similar field.

No. Most of the people I know would be considered affluent. Some are very, very wealthy. Most are really quite happy. Most are in the first marriages still. Most have reasonably successful and happy children.
They do nice things, are generally healthy, are sociable.

I suspect it’s a simple lifestyle with a secure marriage and enough money to never worry. Nobody’s bothered about fancy clothes or jewellery. Muck boots, dog walks, meeting for coffee and growing veg are the norm. Nice holidays are a bonus but many just go their holiday places in , Annecy or Garda; nothing fancy.

Statistically, those in the lowest socioeconomic groups are more likely to have poor mental or physical health, more likely to have addictions, more likely to have serial relationships. Poverty is a key indicator for ill health and misery.

Rosa Sorry about your dad

I wonder how much our upbringing affects where we stand in respect of this. I would imagine that an impoverished upbringing could work two ways - either working incredibly hard to ensure your own DC have a life different to your own upbringing- alternatively those caught in the poverty trap and never escaping.

But perhaps those people brought up to an affluent lifestyle are already caught in a trap of expectations, if you attend private school, expensive holidays, all your friendships are with people with the same lifestyles, i would imagine it would be quite difficult to conceive of a life without these things.

My own upbringing was in the 1970's when people generally didn't have so much stuff. My parents were teachers in an era where a primary school teacher could arrive at school at 845, leave at 3.30 with just the odd bit if marking at home. We were often the last people out of my friends to have things such as a phone, colour TV, video player, even if friends parents earned less than mine. We always had holidays and time together though and I'm sure that has had an impact on what I see as important in life.

The other side of @JoJoSM2 's comment about not wanting to reduce hours at work as this would mean they couldn't afford to pay cleaner, gardener etc is that when I considered raising my hours from PT to FT I realised that with the money I would end up paying out for child care, ready meals, cleaning etc I wouldn't be any better off. I'm a lot happier on my modest wages with time to relax.

My friend has a huge income, lots of financial handouts etc but she’s always striving for the next level and doesn’t appreciate where she is at at all. She’s never happy and neither are her children. Their recent move to have the ‘best’ house has left them extremely tight financially and more miserable than ever.

I think the constantly striving for more is the issue. There is a lot to be said for being thankful for your lot and not always striving for more.

From a very MC perspective (so I'm talking about academics and social workers, not factory live), not enough money = constant stress and unhappiness.

But beyond that it's not about money so much as attitude - the happiest people I know have (1) a real passion, which may or may not be job related and (2) good interpersonal skills, strong & solid relations with family & friends.

Galling as it may be to someone's who's poor, being rich doesn't automatically equal being happy.