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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would it be rude/weird to give this necklace back??

76 replies

beckieperk · 16/08/2019 10:59

Bit of a back story. I'm ex forces....as is a man called Burt*. Burt used to play for a rugby team I followed and supported whilst serving in Scotland. Not that it really matters, but back then Burt and I were single and good friends. Literally just friends, nothing romantic ever happened, neither of us interested in that way. Anyway, when I left my posting in 2007 ish Burt gave me a necklace with a rugby ball charm. It was a goodbye/good luck type gift. I used to wear it. But I've just been sorting through my jewellery and I found it. Unloved and gathering dust with the rest of my pandora/cosmetic monstrosities!!!

Should I send the necklace back to Burt? He still loves rugby and I think he may still wear it. Would he be offended? Would his now wife be suspicious etc?? We are both now married and are no longer in touch except via facebook, but rarely.

It is real gold and I think it's a shame that it's not being used. It is no longer really my style.

Would it be unreasonable to ask for his address to send it back??

*Burt not real name. 😊👍

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/08/2019 11:01

This can't be real. You want to send a twelve year old gift back? Seriously?

summersherewishiwasnt · 16/08/2019 11:01

Charity shop. Don’t send it back. That would be strange.

joyfullittlehippo · 16/08/2019 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theemmadilemma · 16/08/2019 11:03

I think he'd probably be weirded out and possibly offended.

wonderingsoul · 16/08/2019 11:04

Other then it being really werid to think it in the first place its also really rude

Here have your thoughtful gift back because I no longer like it enough to look at.

If you dont want to keep it pass it on.

Walkacrossthesand · 16/08/2019 11:04

Sounds like it's time for a Marie Kondo moment - thank it for the happy times it's linked with in your mind, then say goodbye to it via ebay or charity shop.

BruceAndNosh · 16/08/2019 11:06

Really rude

PooWillyBumBum · 16/08/2019 11:07

Yes it’d be weird/rude. Burt wanted you to have it, presumably in part to remember him. If you don’t want it then sell it/regift it.

Original poster
beckieperk · 16/08/2019 11:09

Thanks. I knew I could count on you all for your honesty! I'll out it back in my jewellery box and stop being weird now. Promise. Grin

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 16/08/2019 11:09

It would be very odd to send it back after so long.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/08/2019 11:10

Hey man, long time no speak. Found this, it's cluttering up my house, have it back. Can't be arsed to eBay or charity shop it.

I mean however you phrase it, that's what he's gonna hear.

pinkyredrose · 16/08/2019 11:10

Please don't return it, it's massively offensive. Sell it if you must be rid of it. Or you could keep it and fondly remember your friendship whenever you see it.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 16/08/2019 11:10

Very odd. He’ll think it’s some sort of message. Just give it away.

FreddyFazbear · 16/08/2019 11:11

When someone gives you a gift, its yours to keep. You own it. You can wear it, throw it in the bin, give it to someone else. But you don't give it back - not twelve years down the line. That's just bizarre.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 16/08/2019 11:11

Honestly, it sounds like you're looking for an excuse to get back in touch with him.

GoGoGoGoGo · 16/08/2019 11:13

Of course you can’t give it back.

If you think it’s real gold then take it to a jewellers and get the gold valued and sell it. Or get it made in to something else.

JollyAndBright · 16/08/2019 11:13

I can totally see where you are coming from,
You like the necklace and the sentiment behind it but you would never wear it and would rather it we worn and enjoy by the other person you know likes the necklace and has sentiment attached to it.
However, sending the necklace back to Burt would we weird and possibly hurtful to him.
Either keep it or sell it so that someone else may enjoy it, but don’t send it back to him, at best he will think you are rude and strange for returning a nice gift that you claimed to love over a decade ago, at worst he will think you are trying to send some kind of message that you never wanted it and it’s meaningless to you.

summersherewishiwasnt · 16/08/2019 11:13

Unless you are hankering for a reconnection??
My mind jumps to conclude he meant a lot to you ??

JollyAndBright · 16/08/2019 11:15

An alternative may be to get the necklace melted down and made into something that you will wear and enjoy.

Original poster
beckieperk · 16/08/2019 11:15

Really not Minister but thanks for the insight. I get that people may think that.

OP posts:
whattodowith · 16/08/2019 11:16

Agreed with pp’s, are you looking for a way to reconnect? It’s just a strange thing to do.

Thingsdogetbetter · 16/08/2019 11:18

Sell it, give the money to charity. I believe there are rugby organisations for disadvantaged kids etc .

Original poster
beckieperk · 16/08/2019 11:20

I could reconnect at any time if I wanted to. But I don't....not in that way. Anyway, I've decided my idea was weird...thanks to you all.Smile As I said I'll keep it. Couldn't sell it. Thanks.

OP posts:
verticality · 16/08/2019 11:24

I'm a great believer that men and woman can be just friends - I have many male friends. If you want to reconnect with the guy as a friend, drop him a line. If you don't want to, no pressure to do so. But don't send him back the necklace - it would be hurtful.

Original poster
beckieperk · 16/08/2019 11:30

Thanks Verticality. I've often got on better with men. But it was never like that with us. I was trying to do a nice thing....didn't realise it would be so offensive. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts: