Would it be rude/weird to give this necklace back??

[beckieperk]

Bit of a back story. I'm ex forces....as is a man called Burt*. Burt used to play for a rugby team I followed and supported whilst serving in Scotland. Not that it really matters, but back then Burt and I were single and good friends. Literally just friends, nothing romantic ever happened, neither of us interested in that way. Anyway, when I left my posting in 2007 ish Burt gave me a necklace with a rugby ball charm. It was a goodbye/good luck type gift. I used to wear it. But I've just been sorting through my jewellery and I found it. Unloved and gathering dust with the rest of my pandora/cosmetic monstrosities!!!

Should I send the necklace back to Burt? He still loves rugby and I think he may still wear it. Would he be offended? Would his now wife be suspicious etc?? We are both now married and are no longer in touch except via facebook, but rarely.

It is real gold and I think it's a shame that it's not being used. It is no longer really my style.

Would it be unreasonable to ask for his address to send it back??

*Burt not real name. 😊👍

Weirdness scale differences. #recalibrating

It's not that bad surely.

Just because it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard doesn’t make it not weird.
It’s totally weird.

You’ve had lots of responses here but just also wanted to say I’d find that offensive.

He wanted you to have it. I’d keep it to remember your friendship as you were (are) clearly fond of him.

If it’s really cluttering your house (which I doubt a necklace could ) then you should sell or donate it.

You should not send it back to him!

on the other hand he's a bloke, he'd probably not be that offended would he

Men have feelings. Of course he'd be offended - or least completely baffled and freaked out.

There's clearly a lot more to your motivations here than you're prepared to reveal either to us or to yourself, but no, absolutely do not send back a 12-year-old gift to someone you don't even see any more because you've gone off it. If you don't want it, sell it on eBay or flog it at a cash-for-gold place if you wanted.

Haha dollydaydream that's deep. And no there isn't , but thanks for your comment. Haha.

MN never disappoints in total bizarre hysteria

For me giving back a gift is a relationship terminator. I find it absolutely offensive.

JacquesHammer preach. I'm seriously considering sending Burt this thread....I think he'd probably piss himself.

He's probably forgotten anyway! And I doubt he would wear it and I truly doubt it is worth much and certainly not 100'as of £££ as suggested.

But, as you know - too odd. It's not as if it takes up much space but if you really don't fancy keeping it (no offspring you can gift it to as an heirloom?) then take a photo of it as a keepsake and pop it in the charity bag.

I have a necklace my parents gave me as a child with Winnie the Pooh on, not sure I even wore it when I was a child and I do look at it now and then and wonder why I've still got it, so I get the issue.

A big fat no

So give it to him then, and watch him piss himself .

You asked if it would be rude or odd, then argue against it when people say it is. If you don’t care, just send it.

I'm not arguing....I am however finding it amusing just how weird people think it is. But we are all different.

Yes it would be very weird and attention seeking.If I were his wife I would think you had lost the plot if you did that.

If you don't want it then either sell it or give it to charity. That's more sensible.

Also it's the psycho analysing that makes me giggle too. Reading between the lines etc....

I appreciate peoples opinions and I've changed my mind/made my mind up accordingly. So for that I am grateful.

In 40 years you may pick it up and fondly remember Burt and your time in the forces with him.

If you do give it to a charity shop put a note on it saying it is gold, so they can price it accordingly or put it on their own eBay. And gift aid it too. That way they are getting more money .

I’m glad you have changed your mind OP. I would give it to a charity shop as it is gold so they could get a good price for it. Or flog it on eBay.

Nice idea...but I'm not really sure that's me/us. We never had an emotional 'sharey' kind of friendship I suspect he thought you did or he may not have bought you a solid gold necklace.

Just charity shop or sell if it's causing you that much angst.

Sell it and donate to a forces charity.

Why would he wear a Pandora necklace?!

Why would you send it back? Give it to a charity shop or let it gather dust

His wife would probably throw a hissy fit

Feefee832 I don’t think this was a pandora necklace (do they sell anything real gold) it was just amongst pandora stuff

Strange idea! It's rude to return gifts & it's highly likely he'd see it as a sign you're now regarding him as more than a friend or as come on.

Thanks all. Yes you're right, it wasn't a pandora necklace. It was a necklace he had on the day I left, he took it off to give it to me. He didn't buy it for me. It's not causing angst, I just came across it and thought about sending it back. Glad I didn't reading some if these messages!! I had no idea it would be considered so rude, honestly. I was trying to be practical/do a nice thing.
I did discuss it with my husband and he didn't think it was such a bad idea, but he did agree that it might seem a bit odd having left it so long. It has gone back in my jewellery box.