Do I book this operation or is it a vanity based disgraceful waste of money?

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For background: I'm a single parent. XH is very supportive with money and flexible custody. I work full time in a secure (as possible) civil service job. I have about £850pcm to spend after rent (a secure HA contract), after school club and bills (not including car/food which comes to around £300 depending on the month).

I have always yo-yoed with my weight (between 10 and 19 stone)and I had a huge baby and un-elastic skin. I have a huge 'apron' of loose skin. It flaps and is obvious under clothes. I hate it and I think about it all the time. This is not just a tiny pouch: I can literally lift and bunch it to the side and see how I could look.

I had a free consultation and was quoted £10k for removal with lipo and 3 years aftercare (I know you can do it cheaper abroad but no).

I have excellent credit and a regular income so can borrow. Some offers I've looked at are £4k at 0% for 30 months, £10k for 4 years at £250pcm, £10k over 12 months 0%.

Basically I mean I can affordably loan this money over a short ish term and it would improve my physical ability and confidence 100 fold.

However, I could die or be disfigured with this surgery ruining my son's life. Or, more likely I'll just be funneling all my spare money for the next few years into a "vanity project" when I should be spending it on my son: holidays, significant presents, school funds etc.

AIBU to get the surgery?

I look like you. I’m currently pregnant; before this baby I was pricing it out myself and had to cancel the consultation when the test turned up positive.

You do it and I will be here cheering you on!

I had a full tummy tuck due to recti diastasis. The results were great and I've never regretted it. I was back at work (in an office) after 3 weeks.

The thing is though, you never see women undressed. Or if you do, the ones like me are hiding underneath a towel in the swimming pool. You wouldn't really know that I had a terrible stomach just by looking at me. I doubt that anyone else could tell if you are clothed.

^

This is true. I'm 9.5 stone and look fine clothed. I do, however, have a section overhang, so don't look quite as neat naked.

I can understand how much this affects self esteem though.

I have the same issue as you, OP, and I hate it. If you can afford it, do it. And let us know how you get on!

I'd rule out everything else first, lipo, laser etc and then go for it

I'll post a before picture after I go see surgeon. He took loads but I didn't.

Can't work out how to PM. Can you PM me and I'll just reply.

People were surprised I was going through with it. It wasn't dreadful, just had a piece of skin in had to tuck into my knickers or luckily with my job gym tights which are surprisingly forgiving.

Please don't pay for a 3 year aftercare OP. You really won't need it.

“Please don't pay for a 3 year aftercare OP. You really won't need it.”

You see, this says it all for me. Trying to get as money out of you as possible.

The 3 year aftercare isn't an add on cost- it's standard with the Hospital Group. It's a guarantee and what stops me from considering going abroad. There are a few wound check ups and you can have as many appointments and advice as you need and then they will correct anything if it's not right once healed for up to 3 years.

I’d put savings, home ownership and money aside for a rainy day so you can still support your child over surgery that’s a want not a need.

What happens if you lose your job? You’d have a large loan payment to support on no income.

OP I had my boobs done with the Hospital group can’t fault them
However I wouldn’t take the guarantee they offer as gospel that if anything goes wrong that they will correct it You will probably
end up back in the NHS for corrective surgery if they will even do it

My TT I picked a local surgeon in my home city as I didn’t want to travel
Personally I wouldn’t discount going abroad just do as much research as possible
There are loads of FB groups for surgery abroad where the patient post photos and give excellent info
10k is a huge amount of money when the exact same op can be done for 4K. Many of the surgeons have trained in the NHS before returning home
Both the surgeons that did my surgery abroad had both done training in the UK
( not sure if training is the correct word 😂)

OP do read the reviews on Trust Pilot
While there are many favourable reviews there are many that mention the poor aftercare and how they are treated
Generally if something goes wrong it tends to be in the first week infection

But by that time your already home
At least abroad you’re kept in the hospital for around a week sometimes more and attended to every day
When I had surgery abroad I had two night in hospital.3 nights in a medical suite in a hotel where nurses looked after me and I booked a further 3 nights in the medical
Suite so that I could relax and completely
recover
In the uk your normally home after 24/48 hrs

Honestly much as I can see why you want one, as a fellow LP there's no way I'd ever have an elective surgery requiring general anaesthetic and risk leave my child an orphan. I had to have a non elective surgery a couple of years ago and the fear of something going wrong was very stressful (did force me to sort out my will and decent life insurance though). All these 'why not' and 'go for it' responses I can only presume are from women with partners or no children. I would wait until your DC are no longer dependant personally. Also no decent surgeon would consider this procedure until you'd been at your target weight for a decent length of time.

Not quite the same thing but a few years ago I paid £5k for a gastric band (I was pushing size 20 so only able to pay privately - not big enough to get on NHS IYSWIM).

Same risks and possible complications. But I had no kids - just DH and a dog.

However, if I hadn't had it I doubt I would've been able to get pregnant and had my lovely DS last year.

It was the best money I've ever spent (although it did lead to me overspending on new clothes afterwards!).

If you can afford it - do it. Life is too short to be miserable in your body if you can do something (reasonably safe) about it.

Honestly I think I'd do it. You've maintained, it will help with continued fitness and your son gets a happy Mum.

Yanbu to spend your money on anything you want. You don't have to justify it

I had a tummy tuck in Turkey last year and it was the best thing I did. My apron was huge and has completely gone. I still have upper abdominal fat but that will improve once I lose weight through an improved duet and exercise. Do it- it will be great for your confidence trust me x

I had it done - it changed my life.
I hated the apron more than I hated being fat - and I really really hated the fat.

Worth every penny

I had it done 10 years ago. Changed my life and the best money I have spent.
Do it, I promise you won't regret it. If you don't, you will.
Good luck!