Do I book this operation or is it a vanity based disgraceful waste of money?

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For background: I'm a single parent. XH is very supportive with money and flexible custody. I work full time in a secure (as possible) civil service job. I have about £850pcm to spend after rent (a secure HA contract), after school club and bills (not including car/food which comes to around £300 depending on the month).

I have always yo-yoed with my weight (between 10 and 19 stone)and I had a huge baby and un-elastic skin. I have a huge 'apron' of loose skin. It flaps and is obvious under clothes. I hate it and I think about it all the time. This is not just a tiny pouch: I can literally lift and bunch it to the side and see how I could look.

I had a free consultation and was quoted £10k for removal with lipo and 3 years aftercare (I know you can do it cheaper abroad but no).

I have excellent credit and a regular income so can borrow. Some offers I've looked at are £4k at 0% for 30 months, £10k for 4 years at £250pcm, £10k over 12 months 0%.

Basically I mean I can affordably loan this money over a short ish term and it would improve my physical ability and confidence 100 fold.

However, I could die or be disfigured with this surgery ruining my son's life. Or, more likely I'll just be funneling all my spare money for the next few years into a "vanity project" when I should be spending it on my son: holidays, significant presents, school funds etc.

AIBU to get the surgery?

Get it done. Not being horrible but if it was me I would do it. I’d probably save as much as possible to reduce the loan amount though.

I would very aggressively work at getting your weight down and dealing with your eating issues for a year, and if you've been successful, get the surgery. In the meantime, you can save money for the procedure.

I can understand your hatred of your belly (mine isn't much better and has a lovely overblown bread dough effect on top) but if you're prone to yoyoing, successful surgery might not work for long. Others have already touched on the risks of a poor outcome in relion to the fact that you can only just scrape to afford it.

You can have a hell of a lot of fun on £10K.

Do it, negotiate a raise at work to pay for it.

You look lovely and slim elsewhere, having the op will make a big difference to you, I’d do it

I'd do it in a second.

I’d take the advice re other posters experience, save up at least half, get into a self-care frame of mind over a year and totally go for it

The one thing I'd like to add is to have consultations with a few plastic surgeons (different to a cosmetic surgeon). From the pics you've shown, I wouldn't have thought lipo would be the procedure required (though I could be wrong). You want to be sure that if you do go through with it, you're having a procedure that would produce the best possible results.

I’d take a year, work on your health and exercise to see if you can improve its appearance, meanwhile I’d save the £250 a month to see if you can manage comfortably on it. If so, go for it. You’ll have £3k at that point which will significantly reduce the size of the loan.

My friend had it with lipo. It's not a small op. It's major surgery - they cut through muscles - more than with a CS. So make sure you have great support and help for after. Make sure the surgeons are amazing. Good luck.

I too would do it, but have a 1 year plan. Save 250 a month. Work on your heath and fitness and diet and self care and make sure you’re in a good a place as possible. Then go fo it.

I have similar after the birth of my 2 kids via section. My tummy shrunk after they were born and I am losing weight but the apron is likely to always be there. After I complete my family I fully intend to have the surgery if approved. I wouldn't wear a bikini anyway but would.like to feel comfortable in my own skin again. You deserve to be happy weigh up the pros and cons and go for it .

I had a c-section over three and a half years ago. Last year i started to get horrific pain on the right side of it just below the scar. We found I have pretty bad nerve damage from the operation.

Before we discovered the nerve damage I was fully up for the tummy tuck in a few years time. After dealing with nerve damage however I would never wilfully put myself in for an operation on fear of something going wrong and being in more lifelong pain. Sorry to put a downer on it. Is there any other non invasive treatments you could have that would help I.e cool sculpting?

How long has your weight been stable for? and are you at your long term desired weight?

I think with the yo yo history of weight maintain it for a year look in to some psychological help if you need to about your food issues and then consider surgery. Maybe you have already worked on this and are already at the place to make that decision.

Thank you for all the messages. I have been at this weight for 4 years. I'm fit, I run, I just cannot get rid of it. I did the 6 week 6 pack challenge and once I scooped up my loose skin you could see the 6 pack. So disheartening.

I have another consultation in September so I'll do some more thinking. Thanks all.

Totally get the surgery. It's not 'vanity' - if you had a large benign tumour or a birthmark that was considered disfiguring, you wouldn't think twice about getting it removed. This is no different.

You're not talking about a bit of a paunch or a slightly untoned belly, here. You're talking about a pouch of loose skin that is visible under your clothes and hangs down. If it is bothering you and you can afford it you should absolutely get it treated. Apart from anything, I'd have thought it would be physically uncomfortable too - a friend had a similar issue and she kept getting rashes under the fold and found it hard to get comfortable in her clothes.

You will need liposuction.

If you're borrowing the money please don't pay for care you may not need.

There are probably insurance policies you can take out to cover any additional care you may need which cost less than the extra you are paying.

My surgeon is v well known in the SE of England. He doesn't use drains as there is more chance of complications, especially infection.

I can PM you pictures of what my tummy looks like now. It's still a little swollen and wasn't quite as bad as yours but made me feel uncomfortable and it just didn't go with the rest of my body.

Go for it op.

You have worked so hard and it sounds like it will make a huge difference to you. I would say it’s absolutely justified.

Sorry should have specified, you're in such good shape but you have excess skin which I thought would need to be removed by a tummy tuck or what Not as lipo can still leave excess skin!

Get the surgery!

Go for it. Maybe save for a year first?

Go for it OP, you can afford it. I would have no qualms in your position.

Yes having seen the picture I'd say go for it. But shop around for recommended top surgeons, because I think many top quality UK places will do it for a lot less than £10k, with great after care.

Friend had it and has improved her confidence 100%. The aesthetic is a much flatter tummy, and she looks so much better in clothes.

There is a big scar though.

I would do it.