To be upset with this (date night)

[RJonezy]

I will probably get stick for this... but please hear me put.

Me and boyfriend (been together 9 years, lived with each other for just under 1 year we are 27) went out for a rare meal tonight.

I got a text at work from him to say 'I'm taking you out for a meal tonight and it's a secret' I literally nearly fell out of my chair. This is so so rare for him. We never have nights like this, no kids, we should be making the most of it right?

The bill gets shoved on the table. He whips out our 'joint account' card. This is the card for the account we pay all our bills from sick as mortgage, gas and electric, tv bills etc (but not good). We put a certain amount of money each into it ever month. I hope that makes sense.

So realistically I paid for this...

Isn't the idea of being taken out for a meal is to be treated ?

Could be another nail in the coffin for us really

Am I being unreasonable ?! Driving me insane...

You are 27, no kids & rarely go out together !

Sounds boring

Why have you put up with this so long, the doing nothing ? You have nothing to look forward to

Earlier in the week I went out for meal & cinema
Then a lunch was provided in return
I've got a holiday booked to look forward to

@N0N1ceIcecream I'm very happy for you.

Hmm I'd be pissed off that he's overspent on the car and he's getting you to indirectly pay towards it by spending less on other things. Maybe you need to have a chat with him tomorrow about it.

yanbu op. Bills and mortgage account should not be used for meals out. We dont have debit cards for our bills account. It is all direct debits out of it.

Youre young and child free. You should be enjoying your evenings and weekends more. Is this what you want for the reat of your life?

I always think people who say it is the thought that counts have very low expectations.

No @RJonezy you both paid for it, it came out the joint account. Be thankful you went out instead of reacting like this.

Why is it so rare that you go out? That's what I'd be pissed off about.

Thanks all for your comments

@ElizaDee I don't actually have an answer to that, I know that sounds awful. I guess the reason we don't go out that often, especially over the past year is because I've stopped being the one that insinuates it. I can't remember the last time he insinuated going out for food or doing anything. I think this is why the cracks are showing.

I've held on for so long I think because part of me inside still loves him, I'm not emotionally ready to leave him... maybe a hope that he will change ...

You are young, you have no kids. I'd seriously consider cutting my losses and go out and find someone fun. If he's like this now, what will he be like in 10 years time? Plus he's tight.

Another one thinking you should cut your losses. If the magic is gone when you're in your 20s and childless...what's it going to be like ten years from now?

You're so young, find someone you're excited to spend time with, who is generous and fun.