To ask why men take so long...

[Whiteorchid55]

....in the toilet? Or is it just my OH?

I really don’t understand. I’ve never felt the need to make a big deal of going to the toilet! In and out as quickly as possible as it’s not exactly fun and who wants to sit on a cold hard toilet seat for any longer than necessary?

My OH can’t seem to go to the toilet without taking a Youtube video in with him and being in there for 10+ minutes - I think the record might have been 40! And this was not him having an upset stomach or anything like that!

Is it really that enjoyable to sit on a cold hard toilet seat for long periods at a time?? Does he just want to avoid me?

Disclaimer: we don’t have children so it’s not like an excuse to avoid sorting anything children-related out!

He will however decide 10 minutes before we need to leave for somewhere that he needs to just ‘nip’ to the toilet...10 minutes later I’m tearing my hair out telling him to hurry up!

Yes!!!!!! Thus is my DH too. I’m fact I was thinking this exact thing only half an hour ago. He always takes ages. What do they do in there????

It think it’s a male thing as my boys are the same, it’s weird!

Haha YABU I am the leisurely pooer here, dh is fairly quick! I like a good half hour, twice a day

@escapade1234 - glad it’s not just my house!! Bizarre. And it’s not like he’d do it at work or out in public so it’s something about enjoying being in our bathroom on his own clearly! That or men have very different physiology to us and take 10x longer to go to the toilet!

@Thehop. Interesting! Why does it take half an hour? Is that because you enjoy just sitting there or it literally takes you that long to ‘go’?

I sat on the loo for a whole 23 minutes one day last week for no reason other than the fact it was peaceful. Try it. It's a revelation when they shout "Dad, Dad, Daaaaaaaaaaaad I can't find Mum" and you hear the panic in DH's voice when he realises he's got to parent at 6pm which is the absolute worst possible time because the biggest one is mardy, hungry and just a pre-teen ghoul and the youngest is still off his nut on the sherbet he ate at 3pm. Brilliant fun. Take a book in with you and enjoy the silence.

My partner says it takes him ages cause he's got a hairy bum 😂😂😂😂

@FudgeBrownie2019. I could understand this if I lived in a busy house of kids and wanted some quiet but it’s just the 2 of us and there’s a nice comfy sofa or bedrooms for him to chill out quietly in if he wanted to?? Why the bright bathroom with the fan whirring is the best choice I have no idea!

This is my DH too! I don't know if it's a sit and wait situation or what, for knows why it takes so long!

Sometimes we can be just about to leave the house and he'll say "actually, just going to pop to the loo first!" I've been known to get the Hoover out to pass the time...

Yes. I always wonder why it takes them so long. What are they doing? Do they hear the plop and then just sit there for ages afterwards. Its weird.

@cheeseislife8 literally my life

@Beaverdam. Seemingly so because I often hear some ‘activity’ (small cottage!) and yet he’s still in there for 20 minutes! And because it’s been left so long before a flush inevitably the toilet ends up stained...bleurgh!!

My DH does this for at least 20 minutes and it drives me mad, especially when it frequently coincides with times when a second pair of hands would be useful, like if I'm cooking the dinner or trying to get toddler up and dressed.

I know hes not actually shitting for the whole 20 minutes because if something else comes up (e.g. dinners ready, doorbell rings etc.) He is suddenly finished

I don't get it either. In and out, anything more and you don't need to go really. Unless massively constipated or something.

I have a theory that women (or maybe just me) go when they need to. So I'm in and out within minutes. Where as DH will go before he showers in the morning, but will sit there for 20+ minutes. But this is every morning, I don't think he needs to go at that time but will sit there until he does.

He will go at exactly the same time in the evening too. Almost like a schedule. Omg I'm married to Sheldon Cooper 😂

Some people like the calm, clinical quiet 🤷

I'm like your DP. The bathroom is my safe, calm space 😂 even way before kids.

My main bugbear is DH and the DSs do that annoying thing of having a shower, wrap themselves in a towel then sit on the bed for ages instead of getting dried and dressed. Either watching TV (DH) or on their phones (DSs).

@Florencenotflo maybe that’s it! Almost like he thinks he ‘should’ go or he gets the slightest feeling and he’s off!

@BeanBag7 yep - always able to suddenly finish if he needs to! Usually as we only have 1 toilet so I end up telling him to get out so I can use the bathroom!

Yes i think the sit waiting for it whereas women go when they feel its in the canal. Maybe they also like the feeling of fresh air in their asshole too.

2 minutes genuinely using the toilet
15 minutes looking at memes.

I also think DH just sits there until he ends up going, whereas I don't go until I actually need to go.

In fact the most annoying thing he can say as we are about to go out is "I need a poo".
So that's another 30 minutes until we are going out then. Also men don't seem to have ANY ability to hold it in. They're like toddlers. Abandon all plans because they need to poo.

My dd can be in there for half an hour then have a half hour shower. God does she take after her father and grandfather. 😂