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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed this happened at nursery

88 replies

GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 19:27

My toddler came home from nursery with red marks from what looks like a hard, twisting grip on her arm above the elbow.

Aibu to be concerned about supervision of us this par for the course/happens too fast to be prevented?

Would attach images but can't.

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Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 19:27

*Or is this par for the course

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MamaFlintstone · 15/08/2019 19:28

Did they speak to you about it at handover? My DD was bitten on the face at nursery once but they told me about it and I signed an accident form.

PotteringAlong · 15/08/2019 19:30

I’m going to take it you only have the one child here, otherwise you’d know it’s virtually impossible to stop a random grab from another child.

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 19:30

No, not a word.

I noticed them when changing her later.

She had a long sleeved top on.

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PotteringAlong · 15/08/2019 19:31

Then if she had a long sleeve top on and she hadn’t cried nursery probably didn’t know.

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 19:31

A bite could happen v fast but you'd imagine the kind of sustained hold & twisting needed to leave several lasting red marks through a sleeve would take longer.

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ClemDanFango · 15/08/2019 19:33

Kids do squabble, pinch kick bite etc. We try to teach kind hands at nursery and ‘not hurting our friends’ but young children are impulse driven and can lash out suddenly and quickly when upset.
Do make nursery aware so they can be aware and on the look out for any behaviours like this so they can use more targeted techniques with any particular children who are prone to hurtful behaviour. I’m a practitioner and believe me I feel bad when children injure each other but it’s almost impossible to predict/prevent unless I’m zoned on a particular child who I know is reactive in this manner.

insancerre · 15/08/2019 19:35

The marks look like a grab mark, doesn’t mean they are a grab mark
Your best bet is just to ask if there was any instances to explain the marks

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:17

I asked/raised it and the manager/owner said it was an impact (from falling off equipment/toy). It really doesn't look like that. I looks like finger marks (with twisting).

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Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:19

This was the reply;

"
It was a very nice dry day, so all children spent most of the day outside. fell a few times trying to get in and out of toy vehicles, she cried a couple of times but quickly calmed down and carried on playing. That mark could have happened when she fell against a toy. Staff didn't report it because there was no obvious injury and *** wasn't distressed or appeared to be in pain".

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Wildorchidz · 15/08/2019 20:20

Are you saying that you think it was an adult that caused the marks?

NoSauce · 15/08/2019 20:22

Any other concerns?

MyFokMarelize · 15/08/2019 20:23

So what do you want them to do? They've explained. You seem to want to make more of it.

Either accept it and move on or don't accept it and instruct a lawyer/move nursery/go to the Daily Mail.

YouJustDoYou · 15/08/2019 20:23

Probably another kid did it.

WhyBirdStop · 15/08/2019 20:24

Did she get her arm stuck as she fell out of a toy car?

ClemDanFango · 15/08/2019 20:26

If you’re not happy with the explanation you need to tell them that so they can investigate further.

purplecorkheart · 15/08/2019 20:30

Would another child have the coordination and physical strength to leave the injury like that.

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:39

I presumed another kid did it while grappling over something.

Just wondered if the general consensus was that that's inevitable and the staff can't really stop it .. or if they should be supervising and breaking up scuffles/attacks more efficiently.

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Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:41

Did she get her arm stuck as she fell out of a toy car?

She doesn't seem to have mentioned anything like that in what she wrote.

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SuperFurryDoggy · 15/08/2019 20:44

Accidental bruises tend to be on or around bony bits. Deliberate ones tend to be on fleshy bits. There are some useful slides here. Obviously that’s just a general guide.

I would raise it as formal concern with the nursery.

My DS came home with bite marks all over him. Initially they said they were more likely to be bruises from falling over, but when I showed them photos of the marks they realised it must have happened when he was playing with another child. They had noticed he was a little quiet and withdrawn, but hadn’t suspected anything bad because he hadn’t cried.

So staff don’t always notice (understandably).

Also, teeny, teeny, tiny chance that it was inflicted by a member of staff. Very, very unlikely indeed, but if it is reported they would be able to spot any patterns.

flashdancer19 · 15/08/2019 20:44

Is she old enough to articulate who or what did it? You say she didn't mention falling out or a toy so maybe she can?

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:46

Would another child have the coordination and physical strength to leave the injury like that.

I dunno, they can be strong/vicious wee punters, can't they. She's "settling in" in the toddler room -that's up to 3 (??) They can be surprisingly big and strong at 3.

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Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:47

Is she old enough to articulate who or what did it? You say she didn't mention falling out or a toy so maybe she can?

No, she's coming 23 months and it's just words/phrases.

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flashdancer19 · 15/08/2019 20:47

@GilbertMarkham sorry I misread your post, I thought you meant your daughter didn't mention falling out of the car Confused

Original poster
GilbertMarkham · 15/08/2019 20:52

Grin no the manager.

My daughter mostly just says "Peppa pig!"

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