Currently in bed with my ex...

[Lostinspacecakes]

Ugh! After 6 long weeks, I moved out on Friday. So far, we’ve seen eachother every day. He’s been round here for dinner,seeing the kids etc.
Back-story... together 10 years, 3 DC, wedding was booked. Our relationship died though. He never wanted to spend any time together, I was very much taken for granted as ‘mum’ and ‘housewife’, told him MANY times I was unhappy but he just didn’t believe me. Anyway, I kissed another man and told DP the next day.
He was devastated. I thought he wouldn’t be that bothered and would be glad it was all over. I was very wrong.
So, the next 6 weeks were spent living under the same roof and, while it was awful, it was perfect, too. He was attentive, talked TO me, not AT me, spent time with me, came to school events for the DC(something he’s never done before). He turned into my dream guy overnight. But he couldn’t get past what I’d done-fair enough.
I’d said, until I move out, I’m totally willing to work on this. He didn’t want to. Now I’ve moved out, he can’t get enough of me! I don’t know how I feel now though. I’m enjoying my independence and the freedom.
But, he’s in my bed... we had sex. Twice. It was better than ever.
I need to miss him to work out if I want this again. He needs to miss me too. But we can’t bear to be away from eachother.
Ffs!
How do I do this?!

And your children @Lostinspacecakes?

Would they prefer to be 'happy & broke'?

I find your posts utterly frustrating & if you and your ex/'D'P are genuinely behaving like this, you are being utterly immature and really ignoring the well-being if your kids.

If you think you can make it work, start talking about that & getting the support you need.

If you can't, make plans to move on, stopping spending time alone (including obviously having sex) and get legal advice. I too think moving out of the house was crazy.

@Andysbestadventure Is hysterical bonding a mumsnet phrase 'cos I've never heard it. Maybe it's not that at all. Just maybe it's wake up call. I'm old enough to be the OP's mum, married for decades, and have seen a lot of friends' marriages survive when one gave the other a wake up call.

Bit cynical to assume he won't change. People can and do.

I’d never heard of it before. I did google it and was a tad sceptical.
Guess only time(apart) will tell with this one.

You Have Children.
You can't afford to dick around like this. You don't break up a child's home on a whim then change your mind just as quickly. Both of you need to grow up and work out what you want bloody sharpish

This ^^

Let's hope your wonderful ex will step up and provide for potential child #4, instead of the British taxpayer. But I doubt it!

OP he's an ex for a reason....

I think some people may be being a bit harsh here..
I haven't read the whole thread but it seems like he has realised now what he has lost. Not sure if I'd believe he's only doing it so no one else can have you. Only you know him well enough OP to work that out for yourself. It would be hard for anyone to see your ex with someone else, always is.
If you feel in time that he has changed and he will stick to being the person you know at this precise time then only you can make that call.
Good luck and hope you find your happiness

Thanks fairydust. Mumsnet can be quite the nest of vipers at times but there’s always good advice in there too x

Child #4 is highly unlikely ✂️

How sure are you that he can be trusted to bring the children back?

He’ll bring them back