To ask if this is just a bit strange or actually concerning?

[ThePolishWombat]

Namechanged as it’s possibly quite outing, but I’m a regular poster and quite prepared to be told I’m just being a nosy neighbour and to keep my beak out, but I can’t help but think this is weird:

So my neighbours have always struck me as a little bit odd since they moved in at the end of last year. There’s Mum, Dad, a primary school aged DD, a preschooler DS and a baby who must be around 9ish month old by now.
The Mum is a very heavy smoker. Literally every single time I look out of my window, she’s out there smoking. Whatever - she’s an adult, she can do what she wants! But there’s a few things that have got me a little about the whole situation:

1. Even during this monstrous heat wave we’ve just had, I have never seen a single window open in the house. Never. Not even the bathroom. Don’t most people crack a window to avoid condensation when they shower at least? There’s also sliding doors that access the back garden - never ever seen them open. Even during this summer holidays, when you’d think most kids would be in and out from the garden?

Literally zero ventilation to the house.

1. The baby never leaves the house and I mean hardly ever. During school time, I see the baby in the pram on the school run and that’s it. During the heatwave, the whole family would spend most of the day in the garden together, kids playing etc same as my family, and I didn’t see the baby a single time. Not once. There’s a clear view from my back windows straight through her back windows, where you can see clearly into the houses, and I’ve never even seen her walking around carrying the baby or anything - even when she was a teeny tiny newborn Now I know not all babies are clingy Velcro babies like mine were, but isn’t it odd that this baby has been around for 9 months, and I’ve never seen her be held by an adult or even leave the house except for a 15 min school run (school is a couple of mins walk)?

A couple of other neighbours have voiced the exact same concerns to me, asking me if I’ve noticed it too considering I live the closest and have a clear view into the garden/house

1. The preschool DS. He is a “school year” younger than my DC1, and not very verbal at all. I’ve spoken to him a few times, and there’s a couple of clear words, but mostly just babble and pointing. Fine - some kids take a little bit longer than others to master speech right? But what me and 3 other neighbours are very concerned about, is the fact that this barely verbal, very young-for-his-age boy roams the streets around our houses completely unsupervised from very early in the morning during these holidays, just wandering aimlessly, knocking on doors looking for other DCs to play with or just any kind of interaction really. He was almost hit by a car turning into the cul-de-sac the other week and when the driver voiced her concern to his mother about him being unsupervised in the roads, she didn’t seem remotely bothered

Is it just a bit weird?
Or would you actually be concerned about the baby and the preschool? Maybe even the Mum’s wellbeing/state of mind? I’m not sure if I’m just being a busybody and my views are clouded by my own experiences with two very clingy, unputtdownable babies!!

Sorry - thread was longer than I realised, so I was responding to a much earlier stage.

"Isloating herself for sinister reasons"? What about she just can't be faffed with going to groups?

CookPassBabtridge maybe - but she did seem genuinely interested when I said it was still running!

OP, it's not about her isolating herself. It's about a toddler roaming the street, knocking on doors!

OP go with your gut instinct. If you genuinely feel there is cause for concern and not just being Mrs Judgypants then phone SS.

Gossiping with the neighbours makes you look bitchy.

If one of my neighbours brought round a food parcel or came to invite me to coffee I would be mortified, I would hate to think my neighbours felt sorry for me and inviting me out of pity. Also if you are gossiping the mum might think you are looking for new subject matter.

Are you sure she even has a baby? Maybe she has one of those dolls that she just takes out in the pram for the school run.

@yearinyearout there’s definitely a baby She was heavily pregnant when they moved in!!

OP go with your gut instinct .
What's gut instinct have to do with it? A toddlers been seen wandering the street and knocking on doors!

Sadly the link quitefranklyivehadenough has posted is spot on about the very real dangers a child of that age faces wandering around unattended in even a cul de sac from something as banal as a Tesco delivery van

The only cause for concern is the preschooler wandering the streets

I disagree - it’s the concatenation (??) of factors

Yes, you should knock on her door one day and see if she wants a cuppa at your house. You could just say that it's a friendly neighbourhood, and she's one person you don't know very well yet... or ask if she could lend you an ingredient for baking (then take some of the bakes back to say thank you

AND report!

The op said she’s seen the baby on the school run, I doubt she’s pushing around an empty pram!

Yes toddler seen wandering the streets is cause for concern and obviously should be reported but the other things mentioned are not in themselves red flags but put together could add up to major neglect/issues, sometimes there are no definite signs but you have a niggle that something is off.

There’s definitely a baby. I think I mentioned earlier that when she first moved in and the couple of months that followed, she was quite chatty - a “normal” level of neighbourly interaction with me, and the neighbours on the other two sides. And the usual “How’s baby doing?” when the baby was a newborn was always part of the conversation.

If authorities/school are already aware, do I still report?

Yes because as a pp said, it's a case of building up a picture and the HV might not pass on your concerns.

Well done for reaching out to her.

Ok OP, there's definitely a baby, she may or may not be isolating herself, she might come to the group next week etc, etc.

But.... What about the wandering toddler knocking on doors? Do you agree that if this is "known" to the authorities, they haven't yet stopped this risk?
If you do agree, what do you think you can do to put a stop to this child being in danger?

I would still log it via nspcc. Make sure you word it in such a way that it they can't work out it's you if you're worried about come back. Even though you now know authorities are aware, it helps provide evidence.