... to not say anything

[Yesivenamechanged11]

NC for this one.
20 weeks pregnant, lost my job three months ago and money is tight. Maternity allowance won't kick in for another 7 weeks.
Been offered a job interview next week (2 stage process) an hour away from where I live and am currently car-less so it will be a big effort to get there. Industry I work in generally has a 6 month probationary period so I could get canned at any time.

I am showing a bit but generally just look a bit tubby.
Do I say anything at interview?? Gut instinct says no but not sure I need the stress of being let go again (on top of taking legal action against former employer) so part of me wants to decline but I know that isn't wise.

Thoughts?

@blackchina and @thebakerwithboobs have said it all for me.

Do you have a unique selling point for the company? As in is the job something that's a speciality you are trained in? If not then I'd see it likely they do get rid of you before you have the baby. If you do have a speciality skill that few would have good enough, then they are less likely to do so.

It's a shame. I'm also over 20 weeks and have lost my job. I'm looking at temp jobs instead as i know that if it's not a speciality skill job they either won't hire me or will drop me in the probie period.

Also consider when you'd start/be offered the job? If you are 21 weeks during interview stage 2, is that last stage? If not there could be more a few weeks later-24 weeks pregnant - then no job offer until 25 weeks or after in which case you'd need to inform them then anyway.

Don't tell them op just go for it xx

So, to the employers on here, say you interview a man for job and appoint him. He doesn't mention that he and his DW are ttc and doesn't mention that he will be taking all of the leave that is legally available to him once their baby is born. Is he being dishonest? Or is it ok because he'll have potentially been in the job longer when he goes off on leave?

What about adoption? What if the interviewee (man or woman) fails to disclose that they are a prospective adopter (and could be landed with a baby at much shorter notice than you get in a pregnancy). Are they being dishonest?

The outcome of these situations is no different than a pregnant woman coming along. For all you know, everyone on your shortlist might have one of these issues going on. But hey, it's not right because, well, woman.

I wouldn’t tell them. It is shit, but it is a fact, that maternity discrimination is rife in the workplace. If every employer was like @thebakerwithboobs then it would be different - but they’re not and it’s estimated that 54,000 women a year are forced out of the workplace due to maternity discrimination. Some of the posters on this thread seem to think that’s ok, which I despair at. Come the revolution, when we’ve closed the gender pay gap, and maternity discrimination is no longer a problem then I 100% agree you should be honest in an interview. I value integrity and I would like to be able to be honest in this case. But the statistical likelihood is that being honest will mean you’re likely to be discriminated against. And if it wouldn’t, well then it won’t be an issue for the employer to find out a week or so later, will it?

Industry I work in generally has a 6 month probationary period so I could get canned at any time.

Probation periods are irrelevant as you can be dismissed for any reason at any point up to two years.

I went for an interview for my current job when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I didn't mention anything until I had accepted the offer. I work in the public sector so kept all my benefits and continuous service luckily. I'm sure there were a few raised eyebrows when I told them, but I've been there 2 years and don't see a problem with it, if you were already in the job and got pregnant then nobody would say that was wrong, they'd still have to cover your mat leave at some point.

CoughSplutter

Agree, additionally the right to claim discrimination begins at day one, so if you failed the probation of someone who was pregnant and it was apparent that, that was the reason, then there would still be the risk of a claim.

Its a horrible situation OP and not one I envy you for being in.

The law says you don't need to disclose. The law says that they can't discriminate due to pregnancy, yet it is very easy for a potential employer to decide not to employ you for that reason but officially give another, or a bland "there was another candidate who was better suited to the role/team". I totally get why you might not want to.

I have a disability, one which is easily managed with fairly minor/standard adjustments to my workstation. I have been to interviews where I've declared it, in fact i've been to several interviews who guarantee interview if you gave a disability and meet minimum criteria - and I have been to interviews where I haven't. I have been not offered a job I was perfect for a few times, and whilst I'll never officially know, I strongly suspect from little looks, comments etc made in interview that more than once it was due to or took into acount them knowing about my disability. I lost another job because of it, and took the company to court who said it was the loss of trust in that I hadn't declared my disability before I was legally obliged to - they settled out of court rather than risk the judgement being made against them.

So I completely get both arguments for and against telling employers.

I am lucky that my current employer makes nothing of my situation, which I was desperately nervous of when and how to tell them about, and the disability screening questionnaire was terrifying and touch wood I've never had a day off sick with the condition.

With pregnancy, I'd try to cope with temping if I was in the OP's shoes.

"If every employer was like @thebakerwithboobs then it would be different"

You say that as though it is a good thing - the poster has said that she would sack a pregnant woman for not disclosing her pregnancy in interview - even though the law says the employee does not need to disclose it!

@Pawsandnoses - agreed - it was more of a PSA as a lot of people think after finishing probation their job is secure!

we have a member of staff who has fybromyalgia which I hope I have spelled correctly. Now. Strictly speaking, I don't think it's recognised yet as a disability

A Westminster discussion on Fibromyalgia was held in Jan with suggested steps to make it a named disability, but to date nothing has been implemented (no doubt Brexit is delaying things), but for all intents and purposes it's a moot point. Consultants (Rheumatology) classify it as one, and for all intents and purposes it's covered under the Equality Act 2010. You can also be awarded PIP for the condition.

https://rct.learningpool.com/pluginfile.php/711/modfolder/content/0/Saesneg%20-%20English/Factsheet%20on%20Fybromyalgia%20122_13.pdf?forcedownload=1

You don't need to tell them and I really wouldn't. People here saying it's dishonest? Reality is that women get discriminated against at work because they have children. You don't know if this might happen to you. You tell them and they might pass on you, even if you were the best candidate, and you miss out on a career. You don't tell them, you know they will have to follow the proper and legal procedures. You don't need to feel guilty or apologise for using your rights. You don't know what this employer is like yet, so you shouldn't take the risk telling them. You're not being dishonest at all, you are simply not putting your life on hold, which you are entitled to.

I can believe the women on here who would happily shoot themselves in the foot, and think they are less important than men in the workplace because they are having a baby.

It's the same as applying for a job when you have a health condition that means you need to take time off for hospital appointments and being on sick leave. You don't have to tell them that at the interview. Why would you? If someone doesn't get a job because of their health condition, people consider it clear discrimination. But if you're pregnant, the woman is sneaky and has done the wrong thing. Ridiculous.

Are you hoping they will let you keep the car during your maternity leave?

Well, they aren't going to ask you are they?
You need a good answer as to why you left last job.

twolobsters

@Blueoasis but in your scenario, how would disclosing help? It sounds as though you would be furious if someone pregnant was hired and subsequently went off, either way. To not hire them for that reason would be discriminatory, irregardless of your workload hmm

Because they probably wouldn't hire them. Why hire someone to do a job when they will disappear for any reason after 2 months? How is that useful to a business? What if everyone did it? Businesses survive by making money and providing a service, they lose money doing things like this, and they don't like that. Once they find out the op lied, most of the time that company is just going to let someone like that go. Then how does she find work after being fired twice? Word starts spreading at that point.

My company is shite regardless but that's a whole different longer story on why.

Its a shit situation, but lying about it isn't going to help. Best be honest at least. Starting your first day going 'by the way I'm pregnant and due in a few months' is not the best way to make friends is it?

So, to the employers on here, say you interview a man for job and appoint him. He doesn't mention that he and his DW are ttc and doesn't mention that he will be taking all of the leave that is legally available to him once their baby is born. Is he being dishonest?

It's not comparable. Just because they are ttc does not mean they will have a baby at all or even soon. In this case the prospective employee is already pregnant and knows they will have to go on mat leave in a few months time but is concealing that fact from the employer.

Katherine So presumably if the man's DP was already pregnant you'd expect him to declare it, and state whether he was going to take SPL.

As for PP who stated about declaring a disability in interview - I have never done that, why on earth would I? Unfortunately people still have a lot of negative perceptions about epilepsy (such as one boss who - when I wrote it on a health questionnaire after starting the role - said "you don't look like a [slur that should not be used EVER]"). When would I declare it in an interview about my skills - would I say one of my skills is having seizures?

OP, I would not feel the slightest bit of guilt. If all employers were like the PP who were fine about employing pregnant women then it would be different, but those are few and far between.

Being fully honest...I know what the law is. You are entitled to do this.

However, I couldn't bring myself to do it myself.

At 20 weeks, you'll be going on maternity leave very soon after starting. They'll get you set up, get your cover set up, then you'll go and they'll have to get you sorted again on your return.
Recruitment isn't cheap or easy, and I would feel there would be a high chance of you not passing probation, and of management and coworkers feeling resentful. You may end up burning your bridges with the company long term.
If you are genuinely what they want, they may hire you knowing about the pregnancy.

I know that's not a popular response, and I'm open to changing my mind.

I'm sure actually there was a different thread in reverse about this situation a while back. Someone asked if they were being unreasonable about being annoyed that someone got hired and on her first day announced she was pregnant and would be on maternity in a few months. So the point of hiring her was thrown out of the window on day one. But I can't remember what people said about it.

As someone who recruits, it's actually a bit of a shitty thing to do, recruitment costs, and has to be budgeted for, if you spring a maternity leave on them, they then have to find the money to recruit and pay for a maternity cover person, or potentially struggle to cover the work with existing staff, which may be tough to do and place others in a stressful situation.

I get why it is tempting, but if you are offered the role verbally, I would inform them then so they can make an informed choice and manage their budgets accordingly.

Tell them after the job offer. I didn’t tell my job I was pregnant until 20 weeks because I was afraid of discrimination against me and I’d been there three years!
They were then predictably discriminatory and told me my promotion which I was told I would get was on hold until I returned after maternity.
Telling them after the offer gives you a chance to have the job and prove yourself but also protects you at least initially from being rejected outright at the start.

What are pregnant women supposed to do, STARVE?

@BlooperReel so you would discriminate and say you wouldn’t employ someone simply because they’re pregnant. That’s exactly the scenario OP is trying to avoid. Companies are not supposed to do this. According to you anyone in OP position should not be employed until well after the birth of their dc at their own expense. This is why there are laws in place not least because men just would not have these issues thrown at them and therefore have to set back their career simply for having dc.

@BlooperReel so you would discriminate and say you wouldn’t employ someone simply because they’re pregnant. That’s exactly the scenario OP is trying to avoid. Companies are not supposed to do this. According to you anyone in OP position should not be employed until well after the birth of their dc at their own expense. This is why there are laws in place not least because men just would not have these issues thrown at them and therefore have to set back their career simply for having dc.

What I am saying is that as an employer, whilst I would have no qualms employing the best person for the role (that is the aim of recruitment after all) I would want to know of additional costs such as an imminent lengthy absence due to maternity leave sooner rather than it being sprung on me at the last possible moment, then I can see if budgets can be juggled to cover it accordingly. For a small business, that kind of scenario cannot always be readily absorbed and can have a big impact. Whilst I am aware of the legalities, I value honesty in potential employees.