What’s the most minor thing your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

[FiveFarthings]

Confession time just for fun (need some light relief after being up all night with baby!)

What’s the most minor thing that your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

For me, it’s that my husband squeezes the tube of tooth paste from the middle rather than the bottom, leaving the tube all twisted so you can’t get anything out. It is such a minor thing but my god it makes me rage and I am totally disproportionately unreasonable about it!

Anyone else have anything similar?

Leaves cupboard doors and drawers open every. fucking. time.

Leaves his stinking football bag in my car so when I go in in the morning the car reeks of cat piss, why do football boots smell of cat piss?
Takes all baby seats out the car so when I take the kids out to strap them in I have to plug all the seats back in first. Eaves manky work clothes all over the house, there is sometimes 3 different piles on our bedroom floor, I have now bought drawers and stuffed them all in there. Says he will do things around the house or garden and never does.
Drags my nice chair into the middle of the living room floor 3 feet in front of the couch to play playstation on the TV.
Wales up in a hyper annoying mood every Saturday morning, winds the kids up, winds me up because Saturday is football day.
Goes to football training and sometimes doesn't was after and jumps straight into bed next to me stinking.
Never ever takes any of the bins out or back in, even if I ask him to.
Empties all my pockets, purses, bags of any money that's in them so when I go out I never have cash unless I've hidden it.
Lies a lot about how much he gambles.
Does absolutely no housework.
Goes to football 3-4 times a week and is never around to look after the kids when I need him to.
Pees the toilet seat and doesn't clean it off.
Comes into the bathroom whenever I'm in there sometimes just to check what I'm doing 🤨
Leaves mess behind him everywhere he goes and never cleans it up.
Always moans that I haven't got his football stuff ready for him.

Mine hasn't been so lighthearted sorry, not sure why I'm still with him tbh.

Two things:

• Seems physically in capable of changing a toilet roll even though it's a slide on/slide off one - no fiddly inserts at all. He leaves the old roll on the holder (more often than not with two or three sheets left on it) and puts the new one on the back of the toilet seat, which makes it more difficult for him to use than it would do if he put it where it's supposed to be!

• the use of the word "purchase(d)". Why do you say "I need to purchase some new trousers" or "I purchased a new game". Why not use "buy" or "bought"??? It's got less syllables in it! (I realise this one is really petty, but OP did ask for "minor" things!)

My DH turns off lamps at the wall instead of the button thingy on the lamp. Drives me mad as I always forget and try to switch them on and nothing happens and then have to turn it on using both the switch on the wall and the one on the lamp.

Always chooses the EXACT moment I am throwing eyeliner on before racing out of the door to work to initiate a conversation about eg whether we need to get the guttering cleaned or whether I think we should install smart radiators or something. Why? Can’t it wait?

Always expects me to choose his clothes when we go out. He usually waits until I’m drying my hair against the clock to hold up several trouser/shirt combinations and ask me to tell him what to wear. As if I don’t have enough to think about!

Then stands by the door jingling his keys because I have made us late, after 10 minute interlude of choosing his outfit and explaining my reasons for rejecting certain garments, at his request!

Doesn't lift a finger round the house.
Is forgetful to the point I don't know how he holds down his job.
Uses tonnes of toilet paper and hangs the roll round the wrong way.
Chucks dirty cutlery in the sink so I have to later fish them out to put in the dishwasher.
If he makes a cup of tea he leaves the tea and sugar canisters pulled forward.
Leaves dirty mugs on the floor by the sofa.
Dirty laundry gets left on the lid of the laundry basket.
Picks his toenails and leaves the bits everywhere.
Blows his nose in the shower.
Leaves the bathroom in a mess.
Is a secret eater and consequently overweight but won't admit to/face it.

Leaves socks on the floor.

Can't find items of clothing but hasn't thought to look anywhere laundry related.

Gets surprised when he runs out of underwear. I've pointed out that taking the last one out of the drawer would in itself be a hint to put a wash on.

This sort of thing used to annoy me, but I've got some little sayings now.

"adults tidy up after themselves" (ie I won't tidy up after an adult)
"adults don't need to be told what to do" (so I don't)
"let them crack on" (general umbrella term to stop giving headspace to behaviour that annoys me)

Today crumbs on the work surface because he didn't use a plate or chopping board. Just left there.
Plates on the surface above the dishwasher 'I didn't know if it was clean or dirty' OPEN IT THEN
If I go to bed first, I leave the kitchen spotless. Guarantee that I will get up the next morning and his glass is by the sink. Why can't you just rinse it and leave it on the draining board?!
Never ever opens the curtains and blackout blinds.

Areyoufree

He used to make 'hedgehog's' out of toe nail cuttings in a piece of BluTac.

I...what?

^Exactly this response.

Only ever does half a job - so manages to take off DD's night time pullup, but not put any pants on her, or put the pullup in a nappy bag, in the bin. Manages not to put the empty milk bottle back into the fridge, but leaves it on the counter, not in the recycling. Manages to put a new loo roll on the holder, but not to dispose of the old tube. Drives me nuts!

Uses his middle finger to swipe or tap things on the iPad 🤯

If I'm washing salad under the tap hell reach in and wash something under the same tap so the dirt from the celery goes over the food I'm washing.

Washes the dishes but then leaves the mucky water in there after, doesn't both to empty the sink. Most of the time I find it the next day. Drives me insane!! He says he's never sure if he's going to do anymore 🤔

Says "I borrowed X to X" it's lent, fucking lent!!

DH will talk to me while I have my hair dryer going so I keep having to switch it off to hear him, I turn it on and he starts bloody talking again. Very irritating.

He drives ridiculously slowly. If we're 10m away from green lights, he won't speed up even slightly to get through them (not over the limit, just a bit faster than he is going). There have been a couple of times I've thought the engine has conked out as he's crawling over speed humps
I do most of the driving now because it winds me up so much

1. Uses a new teaspoon for every cup of coffee he makes (and he drinks over 5 a day)
2. Uses 4 towels per shower - one for top half of body, one to stand on (despite there being a mat), one for bottom half of body and one for hair.
3. Takes off trainers and leaves in the middle of the room/corridor/wherever he is.

Love him to bits but MY GOD

Scratches his balls, literally one day I will boot him in the balls and I doubt I'll feel bad. Harsh, but true.

Christ I thought I had it hard but some of these things are just unbearable. What would happen if you didn't pick up after him? The one that leaves the filthy water in the sink? Mines just a bit annoying at times, but does know how to run a life

Some more ....! He never finishes a mug of tea and chucks the rest down the sink but never rinses it away so I nearly always have a lovely brown stain on the sink. I have told him SO many times but he just will not rinse it!

Takes his socks off in the living room and leaves them on the floor.

Lets the dog tear up tissues, cardboard, twigs and random other stuff but never clears it up - always says I'll clear it up later but never does.

Yes to PP about the new teaspoon for every cup of tea/coffee and leaves them on my clean tea towel on the counter!

Leaves stuff EVERYWHERE, then gets cross when I put it in its rightful place, e.g. ‘Where are the socks I left on the island? I was going to wear them again today!’ ‘Did you move my bit of sandpaper from the coffee table?’ ‘Why is the bread in the bread bin?’

😡😡😡

Decides that the moment I am about to leave the house on the school run is the right time to start telling me things.

Sends hints for "just because" gifts. I get them whilst thinking "grow up!".

Also, has to close ALL the curtains when he has a shower in case someone catches a tiny glimpse of him naked. We live rurally and are not overlooked at all.

Forgets to squeegee the shower screen after use, so I have to spend ages every week scrubbing water marks off it.

Closes all the bloody windows all the time to ‘stop the flies getting in’ when it’s a BAZILLION degrees and our house is South facing.

"I make you right" .... if he agrees with someone. Just why?

Loving @Bezalelle's hovering Pelican of Doom I also have one of them when I'm correctly wrongly loading the dishwasher.
He wfh so has all day to do what he wants in the kitchen but waits until I'm in from work and want to make my sandwich for the next day/start supper to wash the coffee pot from 9 hours ago!
But he's fab in so many other ways, not least for putting up with me

Yes to:
Crumbs on the work top
Not washing the trickier dishes - leaves them to 'soak'
If he does the dishes, he literally does the dishes, but doesn't wipe around the kitchen or put recycling away or anything else
Doesn't shut drawers properly
Asks me 'What do you want to do about tea?' AAAAAAAAAARGH just suggest something, like I do. 'But I don't know what we have' Well look in the fridge/freezer/cupboard!
Asks me what the plan is for the day. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Please, for the love of God, just once make a suggestion!
Waits until I ask for him to empty the bin, even though he can see the bin is full and has been squashing stuff into it himself (Yes, I could empty the bin myself but he has never cleaned the bathroom so I have delegated bins to him)

But he is fab in lots of ways!