What’s the most minor thing your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

[FiveFarthings]

Confession time just for fun (need some light relief after being up all night with baby!)

What’s the most minor thing that your other half does that unreasonably winds you up?

For me, it’s that my husband squeezes the tube of tooth paste from the middle rather than the bottom, leaving the tube all twisted so you can’t get anything out. It is such a minor thing but my god it makes me rage and I am totally disproportionately unreasonable about it!

Anyone else have anything similar?

Endless endless endless cracking of knuckles. Endless.

DP clangs her spoon on her breakfast bowl, clink clink clink. It drives me mad.

She uses more toilet paper than anyone I’ve ever known. We live separately but I’m now making her buy me a large pack each month to make up for it. Me and DS can use 2 throughout the week, but when she arrives on friday evening suddenly they start disappearing. I’ve got one of those loo paper spikes that holds four rolls, so I’ve taken to fully loading it before she arrives, just to show the ridiculous amount she gets through.

She also leaves lights on in rooms when there’s nobody in them. If I do this in her flat she gets quite huffy, but she does it at mine all. The. Fucking. Time.

Oh, and how could I forget this, the thing that infuriates me more than anything. DP will start a conversation without telling me what she’s talking about.

She’ll suddenly say something like, ‘oh, they’ve finished now.’ Me, ‘what? Who has finished what?’ DP, ‘they were supposed to be done last tuesday but they ran over.’ Me, ‘who? What are you on about?’ DP, ‘they were supposed to be done last week but it ran over.’

Sometimes it can take me several minutes to find out who they are and what it is. I frequently have to try and guess what she’s talking about by working out the clues, and these conversations can be literally about anything. One minute we’ll be talking about the car’s MOT then she’ll flip to talking about next doors dog without telling me. It’s very frustrating.

what you have reminded me - around an hour into any car journey (after big and small chat slightly dies down a bit) my dp, if a passenger, starts to read aloud signs of any sort - so suddenly from nowhere I’ll hear ‘windows and blinds’ or ‘county show’ or ‘take care’. It was funny when we first realised but it’s not any longer. It’s through boredom and also ‘in case I hadn’t seen it’ (ffs ‘windows and blinds/‘closing down sale’, ‘steep hill’ - ffs.)

Definitely slapping his chops and rustling a crisp packet

@Whatisthisfuckery My DP does something similar. He'll come home from work and talk about the bloke he saw walking a dog, a bloke he line manages, a senior male manager at work, a male colleague from another country. Then five minutes later he'll say something like "He's buying a new house..." and I have to guess which of the several men he's mentioned in the last five minutes he's actually bloody talking about

I've remembered another one. He hangs the cellar door key on a nail above the door. There's no need for this what so ever. He just thinks it's a good idea as then we'll know where to find it. If he left it in the feckin keyhole we wouldn't need to bloody find it. Every time he's notices that I've left it in, he takes it out and hangs it neatly on his sodding nail.

Arrrrrrrrrgh!

I have no idea why this gives me the rage it does.

Oh where to start....!

We could be out somewhere, where neither of us has ever been. Asks me where the toilets/pay desk/drinks etc are...How the F do I know??? Read the bloody signs same as me!

Mispronounces certain words such as 'film' is 'fillum' . Momentum becomes 'fermentum'. No such thing!! Argh!

Leaves things in the sink - winds me up no end as I then have to take it all out again to fill the bowl. On the rare occasions he washes up, sticks it all in, leaves to soak. For AGES. Water now cold and greasy. Urgh.

We have an Ikea show cupboard. He hasn't grasped the concept at all - still leaves his shoes on the mat by front door where I invariably trip over them.

Suddenly decides to do some weeding - pulls weeds from between cracks on driveway, but just leaves them where they are? WHY? Now I have dead plants on driveway! PUT THEM IN THE COMPOST BIN OR DON'T BOTHER!
Oh, and never completely finishes a job - eg, there is one tiny bit of tile missing in kitchen from 2 years ago. No skirting board along one side of lounge (fortunately behind a bookcase so not too noticeable) and so on...….
Love him really

Makes noise - particularly whilst eating
Slurps his tea
Snores
Breathes
Doesn't listen
Falls asleep in public/at my parents/on public transport/in my car/whilst watching tv - then denies he's fallen asleep

yep, so many of the above.

On odd occasion that he washes up leaves things in a haphazard manner on drainer, and not only that but wrong way around for them to actually drain?! And doesn't actually wipe worktops but the general area around sink is left flooded.

Doesn't flink after showering so towel and mat are left soaked, then towel left on top of anything other than actual airer or towel radiator, ie the step ladder that has been stood in kitchen instead of shed for god knows how long even though he goes out to shed at least 5x a week to get his bike.

Shoes everywhere, especially by back door so when I want to open it to be able to peg out I have to sort his shoes- in to the box that is there for that exact purpose and will have 4 shoes in it placed in such a way that box is 'full' even though I can fit 10 in there.

Seemingly has no feeling in his arse as will sit on my handbag (never looks before he sits) and not even notice, which leaves me incredulous as I'm like the princess from the princess and the pea.

Doesn't rinse his hands after food prep, so I'm constantly going to open the fridge/cupboard/tap and getting sticky hand. Serves on to plates/trays which he has put on to a surface with crumbs, or worse, then that mess goes on what I am wearing if I don't remember to check when he hands it to me. (Lap eaters due to current lack of table.)

I could go on, but I won't as I'm feeling a bit guilty due to his awesomeness in other areas!

Flink?

not only that but wrong way around for them to actually drain?!

DH loads the dishwasher like this. I think he thinks it cleans like a microwave heats. So bowls stacked on bowls... and then wonders Why they’re still dirty.

He will use the entire house to undress!

Jacket off (and thrown on the sofa ) in the living room.

Tie comes off in the kitchen and no dumped on the work surface.

Socks in the conservatory.

Shirt and pants on the bedroom floor NEXT TO THE WASHING BASKET.

DH is very good at clearing up after a meal. He puts everything away and clears dirty pots off the table. However, instead of putting said dirty pots INTO the dishwasher he spends about 10 mins creating a precariously balanced pile on top of the dishwasher with all the cutlery placed inside a dirty cup in such a way that as soon as I touch it the whole lot falls onto the worktop/floor.

He says it's because he doesn't know how to fill the dishwasher efficiently and I always move stuff around which is true but I only reorganise it when it's ready to go on and I need to make space for the last few bits. I have never complained about his dishwasher filling skills ever!

He breathes

Squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle.

Not putting lids back on things properly.

Leaving used dental floss on the bathroom windowsill.

Expecting me to know where he has left his wristwatch. Again.

Emptying the bins and taking the rubbish out, but not putting a new bin liner in.

Living room floor shoe abandonment.

Half-doing the washing up, and leaving the rest in cold scummy water.

Putting dirty clothes on top of the lid of the laundry basket.

Not liking it if I interrupt him when he's doing something 'important', but expecting me to drop everything and listen to his boring tales of what he did at work today.

Texting to ask me whether we need any milk or cat food - when I'm at work and he's at home.

Cutting cheese all wrong and leaving a lump so wonky it is impossible to slice properly, often does this with a loaf of bread too so the carnage when he fancies a cheese sandwich is something to behold.

Give me a minute and I'll think of a few dozen more.

I want to have a go. I've got loads. My husband eats his bodies. I swear it kills me. I tell him not to and whinge 'i cant breath' I'm like 'what so you eat your bodies?' He infuriates me. He leaves pooh stains around the toilet and all it takes is a second flush before it dries and sticks but he is adamant he flushed. But I heard him and he didn't. Because of his boogie eating habit I cannot kiss him.
He fidgits with his feet. Also will often leave the toilet door open while he does a pooh. When I say close it, he says it's closed. I'm like ffs if the door hasnt clicked it NOT closed. He hangs his clothes in the doors. Like actually over the door or he will throw the trousers he wears on the floor. He drives like a lunatic. Often climbs over curbs or just not very alert. He really winds me up with all this especially when I am PMSing. I do love him though.

I did not mean bodies omg I meant bodies. My phone is mental

OH my days BOGIES

@PasDeGeeGees hahahah I'm dead this is so funny at the same time and infuriating because my husband also empties the bin but wont put a new liner in. He says ' I just emptied the bin, how have you filled it so quickly' it annoys me because I dont even know how to respond to that. There was crap I put in the bin, why are you asking me about why the bin is full?

He will put a wet towel over dry clothes and on the bed.
He will use the hand towel to dry himself all over with.

He will sometimes wrap a damp towel around him and sit on the sofa.

Oh god I'm driving myself nuts jist going over this.

Sometimes I will go though a drawer of clothes to find something clean and find he screwed up dirty clothes and shoved them with the clean ones.

He looks at his phone when I'm talking and I know he is not listening.

@KaleidoscopeEyes oh my god mine does it with the hot cup of tea/coffee as well. I feel like a recorded message always saying “Can you put it on the table please? Can you put it on the table please? Could you just put it on the table please? Would you put it on the table? ...Thanks” like a maniac every day. Reckon by now he could have learnt I’d like it put on the table. What kind of freak wants to HOLD a cup of tea for 10-15 minutes until it’s drinking temperature anyway? Especially in August when it’s humid as fuck.

@PasDeGeeGees “Expecting me to know where he has left his wristwatch. Again.”

Do you also get “well, I’m sure it was here - you must have moved it when you were tidying” ??

Currently on night watch with teething baby and DH is snoring so his annoying habits are magnified right now!

@iklboo
Flink= that thing you do with your hands to skim off excess water from your body before you step out of the shower/bath.

LittleTopic oh god, yes.

Also, he says he can't find x, it's nowhere to be seen. I have a look and find x in 5 seconds flat.

I call it a man-look.