To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

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Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

I'm kind of glad we are not 'that' family...I took DS10 away to the seaside for a few days in the first week of the hols, one day she made me move camp 3 times as the tide went out. As there were only 2 of us to carry stuff, thank goodness camp was only my little rucksack (always needed on the beach when it's just us so I can keep my phone & purse safe when we go to paddle) one big bag, the rug, bucket, spade & shoes!

When my grown up kids were small I was much more organised with activities etc to take on the beach. Now we tend to keep bucket, spade, fishing net, towel in car so if we head out somewhere we can spontaneously go to the beach.

We are a "professional family"; we have four lovely (mostly grown up now) kids who all get on and we were fortunate to be able to spend loads of time with them when they were little, so everyone knew the drill on days out and holidays.

Yes we had lots of beach stuff but we had it for years and years and having games and bodyboards and stuff to spend long days on the beach saves you a fortune in expensive attractions. And kids who are big enough to play with stuff are big enough to carry it so no problem there.

If you camp a lot, a day at the beach is a doddle in terms of organisation. Make a few cheese rolls, supplement with sausage rolls and crisps, some bananas and cake bars and jobs a good un.

I have an acquaintance like that, but tbh, if you only let your DC play with one colour of Play-Doh at a time in the interest of organisation then we’re never going to be actual friends.

Lisa you are spot on with me being a former high powered SAHM though: when my kids were small I was on a bit of a mission to make my parenting as alpha as my career. And fortunately, putting the time in when they are small pays dividends when they are older.

I do think some of it comes with experience. Like I won't leave the house without water bottles as they ALWAYS get thirsty. Likewise a pack of tissues or wipes. That's quite a (minor) mum thing to have in a handbag and I never used to, it just started. I've accumulated serving spoons and jugs and paper napkins in a napkin holder, plastic table coverings and aprons. These things never used to be on my radar. I'll buy bags of ice and store them for the odd hot day. I tend to grab craft stuff that looks interesting when I see it because I've learned DS2 will eventually use it. DS1 couldn't have cared less so for years I never bothered. I have a rigid paddling pool that can be slung on the lawn in a minute and filled up if we get a burst of hot weather. This after a million blow up ones which needed pump and would burst and by the time it was up they'd lost interest.

That experience also tells me that if we book into something like Rock Up, or the trampoline play places DC will get bored after 20 minutes so despite it seeming like a cool energetic outing, it will be a fucking waste of time and money.

It also tells me that if we go to the seaside nothing will make DC happier than pissing 20 quid away in the arcades and that they'll remember that for YEARS as the best holiday ever, over and above the naice gite in France. Someone else might be sitting with a lovely picnic on the beach with windbreaks and sandwiches, but my kids are perfectly happy and that's all that matters really!

I still can't be arsed to pair up socks or put crockery and pans away in anything other than a hasty ziggurat so I'm still very much a work in progress.

We are one of those families... I only do outdoors in comfort...

to transport the stuff that makes outdoors with kids bearable - we shove it all in our 4 wheeled cart that the side folds down on. Take cushions too - and the cart becomes a 2 seater "sofa" so we don't even need to sit on the ground or bring chairs.

Yep. We went for a picnic to a country park once, and not long after we arrived we noticed a Rolls Royce parked near us. Out came the folding chairs and table, out came the picnic basket, out came (believe it or not) a wine cooler, some ice and a bottle of champagne. Immaculately-dressed children frolicked among the daisies while it was all set up, and then joined their parents and presumably grandparents for a full-on banquet.

I was rather disappointed they hadn't brought the silver candlesticks

We are that family at the beach but we love 5 mins from sandbanks so I just have two packed boxes, a wagon and a cool box that needs filling. We have beach shelters etc.

Anywhere else in a disaster but I know how to do the beach

I'm a very disorganised person, therefore I have tons of strategies for not being a total disaster at all times.

For things like in your OP, this means we basically keep a tent, a mat, towels etc in the back of the car. We have a daybag for the dog. We have a ready made up weekend bag and when we come back from a weekend away, we immediately repack it. We have toiletry bags that are ready packed too. We have a list of things we need to take camping and a list of things we need to take to the beach. We keep the camping things in a cupboard and beach things in another.

This makes me sound anal but if I don't do these things, I will literally never get out of the house.

It is totally horses for courses, though. DH's family is incredibly organised and everything is 'just so' and done miles in advance and I find it really stifling and quite frustrating, but I know they (and he, to an extent) find what they see as my slapdash and disorganised approach really stressful. Neither of us are right or wrong, we're just different.

On speech day at our DS school we are asked to bring a picnic. Some parents bring the works, tables, chairs, rugs, F &M picnic hampers, silver ware, china, I swear they would bring a chandelier if they had somewhere to hang it. We bring a cool box and a rug.

On the beach I see very organised families, I do like the pop up tents for little ones for shade

@crucru

The people with tennis rackets at a National Trust place are making sure that everyone else has to keep out their way while they have picturesque fun.

Yes! This!

We might look like one of ‘those’ families, maybe for 5 minutes. We have all the kit but the DC aren’t willing participants

We had a day out at the beach that ended with me being head butted by a toddler and given a burst noes and a black eye.

I don't do play dough. No way is that stuff coming in my house and getting all over the carpet, they lose interest in it after 5 minutes anyway.

I'm not particularly organised but I do do the beach well as we live right next to it so I've just learned from many years of experience to always take spare dry clothes, towels, talcum powder and something dry to sit on. Also wipes for sticky sandy hands. Our kids have large age gaps (4-18 years) and a big family day out would involve at least 8-10 children so beach ball games are great for keeping everyone entertained. Can't see us playing rounders all day but a game of family cricket or rounders is great fun. The more kids that are there the easier in my opinion as siblings are less likely to bicker when they have friends or cousins around.

I have no idea which family we are. We have some beach stuff we always take, but we really aren't at all organised. I've been talking about buying one of those beach carts for more than a decade now.

But I just looked through my photos from the first 10 years of my children's lives and all I see is us having fun doing stuff together in lovely places. The oldest is now 18 and she doesn't come with us on those trips any more.

Maybe they are all on prozac.

In the 70s, our days out were very occasionally the zoo, but mostly other things.

Going to the spectator gallery at Heathrow Airport to watch the planes.
Going to the beach with warm squash and warm cheese sandwiches... for some reason, we rarely got out of the car! Just sat in the car looking at the beach
I've spoken to my mum about this recently and she said she thinks it's because the weather was usually crap... but I've also spoken to other people my age and they did the same!

However... I loved every minute and remember those days fondly.

My DP is that family you speak of. I'm not because I simply cba. The kids do not lend themselves to that lifestyle

We're pretty well practiced at days out, and can get away with minimal stuff which was the goal. Hannam style towels that fold really small, can be used as sarongs, dry quickly etc. Picnic blanket that folds, if not then use a towel. Swimmers each plus towelling hoody for each child. Small cool bag with cold stuff in. Sun tan lotion. Wetsuit shoes. Balls. That'll normally do us all day easily. Lots of spare plastic bags for separating wet from dry etc. A bucket for crabs, transporting water, stones in etc.

We do have stand up paddle boards too, which we don't always take, but they do add to the 'stuff'.

I sat next to a family like you describe on the beach a couple of years ago, they all had folding chairs that could be carried on a shoulder strap, wicker picnic basket, a folding table, mum was dressed in Boden, dad in linen shirt & shorts with leather boating shoes, mother spent half her time telling the children off for getting dirty. The children were looking envious at ds in his £15 Tesco wetsuit & £7 polystyrene body board & our Tesco prepackaged sandwiches, crisps & cans of pop on a picnic blanket whilst their mother was trying to get them to eat olives. There was a gust of wind & their picnic got covered in sand, ours was zipped up in the cool bag before she had the lid on the olives.

@Wardrobeelf my DH's family are a bit like that, I sometimes wonder how they get through life! His Dad is very successful but just doesn't live in the real world. Last family picnic we had everything and they just bought a sandwich each and then spent 20 mins wondering were their other son was and why he hadn't turned up yet rather than just calling him!

Keep it simple because it often has to be carried, we take surf boards for the sporty ones, but otherwise try to pack light. Walking through sand dunes to get to a beach is hard work. I do wish we had beach cafes here sometimes to save carrying a lot of liquids.

I like being able to have a perfectly pleasant day out with fairly minimal stuff. I hate lugging bags around.
I don’t thinks kids give a stuff about chic picnic equipment and suchlike.

@PartOstrich interestingly I am MORE "that family" due to SEN as if we have the right stuff (clothes, food, equipment) it makes outings much more likely to be relaxing.

We've had lots of lovely picnics in lots of beautiful settings, some with my very posh picnic hamper I received as a gift. It's too heavy to carry so I hate it and the two picnics our kids remember? The one in a Lidl car park and the one outside a petrol station on the A30.

If you really want to try to be That Family there are lots of great tips on this thread, but if you can't be arsed it doesn't really matter, do things your way!

We are that family. I'm ridiculously organised for days out. I have changes of clothes for the DC, weather appropriate clothing etc. A rainy trip to Chessington in March saw us all in waterproof trousers and jackets, so no wet bums on rides.
Come closer. You'll see the picnic is made up of cocktail sausages, cheese sandwiches and things I know will get eaten. And you'll more than likely hear DH or I bollock one of the kids because he's being a dick.