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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy trousers for wok on my day off?

237 replies

FutureMrsC · 13/08/2019 11:15

Dp thinks I am. Yesterday at work my work trousers got a rip in them. My other pair is a bigger size with no belt loops and will probably fall down whilst I'm working. Today is my day off I popped to shop picked up 2 pairs of trousers and put a cheque in the bank. Do rang me and said "oh your on the street" I simply said "I'm omw back 1 stop on bus from home, I was quick" he then moaned that over weekend I said I'd go put cheque in bank on Tues and he thought it wasn't necessary because I didn't need the money (money is from elderly relative for DC for a gift so has something to open on birthday rather than a piece of paper) and originally he said he would drop me to bank sat morning to pay cheque in but he overslept

OP posts:
onioncrumble · 14/08/2019 13:48

He would love me. In the short course of today I have reversed to fast while the electronic shutter was going up and dented it and fostered yet another stray animal so all spare rooms are now occupied. He accepts me and likewise. I once lived with a guy who went nuts when the ceramic hob cracked, I hadn't even done anything to cause it. He also used to judge me for forgetting things, choices on how I spent my time etc. Thank God I met a normal human who sayshays through life with me not sweating the small stuff (or animals)

Oscarsdaddy · 14/08/2019 17:32

What a bizarre post. Was this real or your dream ?

NigellaAwesome · 14/08/2019 17:52

He sounds very controlling. Why do you feel the need to text to tell him where you are, when there may be no signal? I wouldn't dream of doing this. Also, why is he asking you to account for your time and whereabouts on your day off?

DieBabySharkDie · 14/08/2019 17:53

If this is a serious thread (I thought it was a “snapped and farted” thread for a minute but I’m guessing not...) then your DP is a controlling cunt. Why the fuck does he care that you left the house on your day off? What does he suggest you should be doing instead? Housework? Worshipping him? Running his bath for when he gets home?
What if you wanted to go out for the day? For lunch with a friend? Christ... don’t marry him, PLEASE!

Justontherightsideofnormal · 14/08/2019 17:54

Just call him a knob next time and tell him to grow up!

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2019 17:55

Saturday do [DP] was supposed to take me to bank to cash in cheque (cheque from elderly relative for DC for gift for birthday so have something to open on day) he overslept Saturday so I said I'd do it on Tuesday (today also my day off) I sent him a text this morning saying I will need to go to the shop to buy trousers for work as mid ripped at work yesterday. He didn't reply. I text him so if he tried to contact me and couldn't get through it because shopping centre has really bad signal for whatever reason. Just a polite thing to Do.

@FutureMrsC You do know that having your behaviour-controlled- that means asking or feeling you need to tell someone your whereabouts and seek their approval- is emotional abuse?

Why do you need your partner to take you to the bank? Why can't you go on your own? why do you think it is polite to tell him if you are going shopping or doing the banking on a different day?

Things like this a re trivial. No one really needs to run them past their partner before they do them, or tell them where they are every minute of the day.

This is not how normal and healthy relationships work.

You are in an abusive relationship.

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

ToftyAC · 14/08/2019 17:59

So you need his permission go out of the house without his permission? If that’s how it isn’t he’d have got short bloody shrift off me OP. I don’t justify myself to anyone.

RaspberryRippleCrisps · 14/08/2019 18:03

Trousers for a wok? Grin

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2019 18:04

sorry but reading your other threads OP about how you have 2 kids and you and your DP split them up, because you split up and can't afford to live together and 'share them' makes this trousers lark sound like a picnic.

Pumpkintopf · 14/08/2019 18:05

He sounds like a controlling arse. Don't put up with it op.

Lozzat85 · 14/08/2019 18:10

@FutureMrsC I think the fact that so many people don’t get it should show you how odd this is. What’s it got to do with him if you go out on your day off? Why does he need to know where you are? Doesn’t sound like a heathy relationship at all and you ANBU!

partypooper40 · 14/08/2019 18:12

Why the fuck can't you go shopping on your day off? Why does he need to know where you are all day??

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2019 18:20

You need to have a long hard look at your 'relationship'. Your other thread(s) shows he treats you like shit- turns off his phone when you have made plans for your DCs (who are separated as you didn't get on with him....)- one lives with you, one lives with him. he oversleeps a LOT it seems and then reneges on plans.

The whole thing is highly dysfunctional and your children are suffering in the middle of it all.

Seriously, you need to access professional support in relationship to see how bad this all is for you and the children.

Pixiegirl76 · 14/08/2019 18:24

Hey??? That does not make sense?

nocoolnamesleft · 14/08/2019 18:25

He sounds very controlling.

PancakeAndKeith · 14/08/2019 18:27

If you didn’t get your work trousers on your day off then when would you get them?

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2019 18:28

What doesn't make sense?

The OP has another thread asking for help which another poster here referred to.

In that thread, it's clear the OP's 'partner' behaves badly in other ways. I don't know why she puts up with him.

JinglingHellsBells · 14/08/2019 18:29

They don't even live together.

Why she needs to tell him where she is, is a mystery.

TheCherries · 14/08/2019 18:32

He sounds lazy and controlling. Start doing more things that you want to do when the hell you want to. He needs to know you are not there to be controlled

Queenioqueenio · 14/08/2019 18:33

You don’t need anyone’s permission to go out, you don’t need any ‘excuses’ whatsoever. It’s perfectly reasonably to buy a pair of pants in your day off, and not answer to anyone why or for how long you were out. This man sounds horribly controlling to have you thinking like this.

beingmum39 · 14/08/2019 18:34

I'd be annoyed with myself if I did anything work related on my day off but doubt my other half would bat an eyelidWink

NotStayingIn · 14/08/2019 18:52

I think the reason this post had so many funny replies is because the situation is so completely and utterly ridiculous most people couldn't take it seriously. (Myself included, sorry!)

OP honestly, when your life is literally becoming a joke you must wake up surely? You must know that he is ridiculous. I just don't get what more it will take for you to stop questioning his behaviour and realise that yep, he is a wanker.

Wingingit247 · 14/08/2019 18:53

The guy is a controlling fuckwit. I’ve been in a relationship like this, you having to text in case he doesn’t know where you are, defensively explaining that you were quick, wtf??? This not normal I promise!! He is not the boss of you!!

TooTrusting · 14/08/2019 19:10

Run for the hills 🏃🏾‍♀️

GabsAlot · 14/08/2019 19:11

Hes sounds absuive why ar eu texting him when he wasnt even at home-i mean i text my dh asking if he wants anything when im out but thats about it-he doesnt need to know everything

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