To stop my daughter (what I see as) overeating?

[isthisfairidontknow]

She's 7, fit and healthy but neither skinny nor fat. Does gym, dance, etc each week.

But she has an enormous appetite. And we keep clashing over it.

For example this morning she has cried that she is hungry but has had a bowl of rice crispies, a banana and a cheese sandwich. She's only been up since 7. I've made her have a big drink in case she is thirsty. I would be full if I had that.

Yesterday she had a bowl of bran flakes, strawberries, breadsticks and Nutella (as a snack) mid morning, kids portion of fish chips and peas (at a restaurant) and apple crumble and custard for lunch then 'green pasta' for tea (peas, pesto, courgette, garlic, onions) and a corner yoghurt for pudding.

There is a rule in our house that food is unlimited but if it's outside of mealtimes it's fruit veg and water or milk. And I've offered all of that but she's still whinging on.

She's been like this every day of the holidays and it's relentless every day. Even before the holidays she was always complaining about portion size, 'can I have more? I'm hungry etc'

Is she just chancing it for more food? Because she doesn't want the fruit and veg and water on offer.

Yes boredom eating, she really wants, crisps and fatty snacks I would think.
My friends daughter of the same age is enormous, massive belly over hang. I feel so sad for the child. She is constantly whingeing for food, is on a GP supervised diet but without fail mum gives in and decides to "treat" her just this once.
She isn't treating her she is killing her.
No child should be fat. I used to come back from holidays with my grandmother enormous then my mother would be outraged and have me on a six month diet until I was skinny again and repeat.
Now I'm 57 and have been yoyo dieting all my life and have ended up having bariatric surgery.
I associate food with being really happy at my grandparents house in the country and dieting with being poor and miserable at my mothers who had a food and diet fixation and was totally neurotic.
I think modern food is as addictive as heroin.

I agree with all the posters saying she needs more protein. You will feel hungry without protein and satiated with it. If she is slim and very active I really don’t think you need to worry about her over eating. Making sure she is eating protein at each meal and not empty calories, eggs and toast will always be better than cereal.

If she’s not overweight I would encourage her to eat to appetite.
That doesn’t mean providing unlimited bags of crisps but children do often need more than fruit between meals. Let her snack on cold meats, cheese, breadsticks.

I've just offered her a bowl of porridge..... she said yes, thought about it asked if she could have syrup or Nutella on it. I said no, maybe a tiny bit of honey or banana and she declined.... hmm not sure what to do now.

isthisfairidontknow I think this is about YOUR food issues. You have all these posters saying that she seems to eat a normal amount compared to their kids but needs more protein, and you come back with @maybe she's just a gannet'.
SO here's about the 70th comment saying she sounds like a fairly normal, healthy, hungry growing child to the rest of us - not a 'gannet'.

Why not put the syrup on it, it will only be a tiny bit! Why honey and not syrup, they are both sugar?

Do you have eating issues yourself, OP?

Put the tiniest bit of honey on top, a teaspoon full dribbled around. Chuck the Nutella out of the house. feed the child FFS.

I think children who are eating because they are hungry are burning up the calories and growing, so they need the food they are asking for. I think genuine overeating and childhood obesity occurs when the parent feeds inappropriate amounts of unhealthy calorie laden junk food to their child.

Your child falls into the first category so I would give her more to eat. Maybe porridge or slow release carbs, not rubbish like sugary cereals for breakfast. Wholemeal bread, fruit, yogurts, healthy cereal bars. If she's hungry give her food but not cakes, biscuits and similar empty calories.

Like someone else said, maybe she needs more protein! A bowl of rice crispies for breakfast isn’t very filling, especially if you’re following the recommended portion size. Perhaps she could have a big omelette for breakfast, which she might find much more filling, or some scrambled/poached egg on wholegrain toast?

Also, I would really try not to get into a persistent battle over eating, things she’s learning now will shape her relationship with food forever. Restriction followed by compulsive eating, is a dangerous self perpetuating cycle.

A tsp if Nutella or Syrup is the same as a tsp of honey or a banana in terms of sugar content.

Sounds like boredom eating.

I've just taken a packet of DS's hula hoops. Bored not hungry. Also a bit overweight.

Most breakfast cereals are very high in sugar, so I would avoid those if possible.

A few ideas for filling her up. For breakfast, try wholemeal toast (toasted from frozen to increase the fibre) with scrambled or poached eggs and tomatoes and/or mushrooms or mashed sardines or avocado or cheese and tomatoes; porridge with fruit; plus full fat milk to drink.

Lunch and supper could be a large baked potato, with baked beans or tuna and a salad; wholemeal lasagne; meatballs with wholemeal spaghetti or courgetti; a mild chicken curry with brown rice or cous cous or cauliflower rice; cottage pie or fish pie with veg; mild chilli con carne with wholemeal rice; chicken casserole with veg. Etc

She needs protein! Eggs/smoked salmon/nut butter on grain toast/ beans etc for breakfast.

Omelette/ham/cheese/hummus/lentil soup etc for lunch

Fish/chicken/beef/tofu etc with veggies for dinner. And more healthy fats in the way of nut butters, avocado, seed oils to keep her fuller for longer. Rice crispies and nutella and breadsticks will leave anyone hungry after an hour.

Eesh no I don't have any food issues what an accusation. Imagine if I did?

Gannet was a term of endearment. Saying maybe she just has a big appetite. I get the previous days protein was lacking but I have also said that was unusual, and that she eats plenty of chicken fish, green veg and occasionally eggs.

She's actually a brilliant eater, she'll try and eat mostly everything. But what I was asking was 'could she just be bored?' And people have rightly pointed out that maybe yesterday she had not enough protein and too much sugar. Which is fair enough.

But don't throw around the 'food issues' accusation, it's not great for actual people with food issues.

OP, she sounds active outside but you can't be outside permanently and you were involved in making the soap bombs, my point is what does she do on her own, for herself? Read, play with toys, practice an instrument, paint?

@80sMum thanks I forgot she loves sardines and mackerel so I'll make her that on toast!

Just to reiterate she's not a junk food kid she's a good and healthy eater.

I have to say though, I brought my son up vegetarian from birth, he is nearly 40 now and has never eaten meat.
He runs marathons and cycles miles to work everyday but doesn't really eat a lot.
We always ate good vegetarian protein and tons of veg, pasta and what have you which really fills you up. He was never fat and never felt hungry between meals although he did eat a lot at mealtimes.
Vege food isn't particularly "moreish" unless you put a pound of cheese on top and even then you have to stop eating when you are full.
I also never made puddings and he has never wanted them.
He might have a bit of icecream and cake for a birthday but that's it. He did eat a lot of fruit.
There is just so much fibre in it that you cannot really overeat. He had white bread and white pasta when he was young but once he got to about 10 it was wholewheat everything and I think that fills you up too. We didn't have things like crisps, sweets and biscuits in the house because I didn't want him grazing on them.
If he got really hungry between meals he's help himself to left overs from the last meal and only really ate a few mouthfuls until he was full.
Hobbies helped too, he's an artist now and would spend every waking hour drawing, making things out of clay and painting models. I think he was too busy with all his craft hobbies to think about food.

Just to reiterate she's not a junk food kid she's a good and healthy eater.

Then let her eat.

@Goldenbear actually that's one of the things she's not so great at. She's an only child and really struggles with entertaining herself. She likes to be in the yard playing basketball, or drawing or cleaning (weird I know- but she loves a list of things to do!)

We also have to plan out our week in advance so that she knows what she's doing. Like I said before she needs constant entertaining, very high energy, clever, tendency to get destructive when bored

So this could definitely contribute to the boredom.

Keep offering the healthy options that she is refusing, but teach her that you are doing this not to restrict her or to spoil her fun, but because you care about her and she should care about herself.

I grew up in a household where food was severely restricted in both sense of that term - there was not enough of it, and the type of food on offer was deeply unappetising. I've struggled with a cycle of both anorexia and weight gain my whole adult life. I think if my parents had presented it as positive self-care rather than negative prohibition and privation, I would have had a much healthier attitude. Don't even mention weight - it's not about body shape, it's about being the healthiest, sparkiest person you can be.

TBH, that's pretty similar to what my DD eats. She could actually eat more if we let her. We tend to give her more protein & vegetables, thankfully she's not too fussy about veg (although she won't touch onions). We do try to get her out & about every day to "run her" as she has massive energy, I know exactly what you mean about being like a collie!

Sardines on toast, egg on toast etc - cheap, nutritious & filling. She also likes baked potato with butter & tuna or cottage cheese. We always put some veg sticks with every meal.

I'm not judging you but I know that's why I have difficulties getting my DD to eat 'meals' because of the things she has going on in the house and she doesn't want to interupt them. I say it's good your DD likes lots of types of food as my DD has a sweet tooth I think because it's a quick fix for hunger and back to doing the stuff she enjoys. Everyday her packed lunch comes home pretty much untouched except probably half a cereal bar and a pot of raspberries gone as she says she wants to go out to play rather than eat.

My mother still does that, 'I'd be full if I ate that.' I've learned to say, 'That's good for you then. I'm not you.' Let her eat! Personally, if I ate that much fruit I'd be on the loo all day and skint, fruit's expensive. Point is, we are all different and being overly controlling and restrictive about food is setting your child up for an unhealthy relationship with food.

Probably boredom eating but in all honestly most of us have done that. She isn’t over weight so just give the kid a biscuit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Unlimited fruit is fair enough but even as an adult sometimes I want a snack that isn’t fruit, now and then that is perfectly fine.

Also honey isn’t really any better than Nutella, it’s still sugar! The “health” bloggers on Instagram and such like may pretend it’s not but it is still sugar. Just give the kid Nutella

My 5 year old is like this, she swims and does a martial art and runs around a lot however I can see her preference towards overeating and binging on sweet things already.

She's pretty fussy about veg and I can barely get anything in her veg wise but I insist that any snacking is fruit first and if she is still hungry after it can be some breadsticks or a cereal bar. I'm pretty worried about her food habits as she grows though. I was a "not thin but not fat kid" growing up and always felt bigger than friends so you are doing the right thing to be wary. No advice unfortunately but following with interest.