To stop my daughter (what I see as) overeating?

[isthisfairidontknow]

She's 7, fit and healthy but neither skinny nor fat. Does gym, dance, etc each week.

But she has an enormous appetite. And we keep clashing over it.

For example this morning she has cried that she is hungry but has had a bowl of rice crispies, a banana and a cheese sandwich. She's only been up since 7. I've made her have a big drink in case she is thirsty. I would be full if I had that.

Yesterday she had a bowl of bran flakes, strawberries, breadsticks and Nutella (as a snack) mid morning, kids portion of fish chips and peas (at a restaurant) and apple crumble and custard for lunch then 'green pasta' for tea (peas, pesto, courgette, garlic, onions) and a corner yoghurt for pudding.

There is a rule in our house that food is unlimited but if it's outside of mealtimes it's fruit veg and water or milk. And I've offered all of that but she's still whinging on.

She's been like this every day of the holidays and it's relentless every day. Even before the holidays she was always complaining about portion size, 'can I have more? I'm hungry etc'

Is she just chancing it for more food? Because she doesn't want the fruit and veg and water on offer.

why are child portions in restaurants so small.

Probably for the same reason that a 4yo and a 11 yo get the same amount of food in a school dinner.

Cost.

With the added bonus that a restaurant meal might not necessarily be a main meal, more than likely more calorific than food at home and an occasional treat rather than a staple part if their diet. (In theory)

There is also a handy table at

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/618167/government_dietary_recommendations.pdf (this is from 2016, though if anyone knows of more recent guidance that would be great)

and

www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/lifestages/children.html

My first thought was diabetes type 1 but after reading the rest of the post and comments maybe it's just bordom but yes it's a lot 🙈

Help he’s 36 , lam 50 he wants kids l have had all mine ... we get on great it’s early days but he talks very long term .. l am kinda hoping he can get passed not wanting kids ? Need advice please ?

@orangesun35

You need to start your own thread to get proper advice

When I was growing up in the late 60's it was breakfast, dinner and tea, and we simply weren't allowed to badger for snacks all the time. The mantra was "Ask, don't get".

For elevenses you'd get a small glass of milk and a rich tea biscuit (and you had to wait until 11 to get it). Mid-afternoon was weak squash and an apple, or maybe a fairy cake if you were really lucky and your mum had been baking. A glass of warm milk or Ovaltine at bedtime. You knew that you'd get those, and nothing else. That was it.

I was looking at my old primary school year group photo the other day, about 100 of us all in the playground on some sort of stand. There was only one child who was overweight. One. In the entire year group.

Do you have issues with food? Cereal is not filling and you are going to seriously affect your child's relationship with food if you carry on like this. I'f she is not overweight then what's the problem? Maybe some research needed by yourself into more filling meals.

Seems like she is having too many carb/sugar-heavy foods, which lead feelings of hunger not long after eating. More proteiny foods needed. Eggs for breakfast would be a great start. And no need to limit the amount, since appetite is much more effectively regulated with foods that are high in protein and fat.

Similar situation here. I think it is important to make sure that they eat properly during mealtimes, and that they are not hungry. Once I am certain that she has eaten all the food she needs, it's not a problem to refuse snacks/discussions about snacks.

What works for us:

• no snacks whatsoever, really no need for them except before and/or after sports (a piece of fruit or similar)
• we always use butter and full fat milk (keeps her fuller for longer)
• unlimited vegetables at lunch and dinner - in general I don't really limit how much she eats at mealtimes but if she asks for thirds (she usually does!) we tell her to wait 15-20 mins. She usually realises that she is full by then
• only drink is water, and the occasional fruit juice or smoothie for breakfast which we make at home
• during growth spurts I sometimes offer an extra smoothie after dinner, with full fat milk, banana, and a spoonful of peanut butter (unsweetened kind). Very calorific and filling for these times

Sweets and treats at birthday parties but we don't keep these kinds of foods at home.

We had a great nanny a few years ago who didn't believe in snacks, so all the rice cakes and eating on the go disappeared. This helped a lot.

That’s a snack compared to my 9 year old who has been eating adult meals in restaurants for the last 2 years at least. She’s not average though she’s actually ridiculously skinny. She’s very active to the point she can’t even watch tv with out constantly wriggling around in to strange positions. You’re dd is

Sorry posted too soon, if it’s not always been the case your dd is likely having a growth spurt. I agree mine snacks more when bored but if busy and not snacking meals will be even larger.

I wouldn't be clashing with a 7yo over this especially as you describe her as fit and healthy. You don't want to be sending her the wrong messages over food/weight/body image. She may be having a growth spurt. Or she may be getting energy crashes after a sugary start to the day. Maybe porridge in the morning? Increase her meal portion sizes, as she has asked, and keep offering fruit/vegetables as snacks - if she turns her nose up, then she is not really that hungry.

I was quite relaxed with my 2 ds in the holidays with moderate amounts of ice-creams, pain au chocolats and chips etc and they are now fit and healthy 15 and 20 year olds. My own upbringing was full of meal battles (not eating enough/not finishing meals) and, much as I love my dm and dd, I vowed not to do this with my own.

I’m always hungry after cereal. I switched to peanut butter on thin bagels or scrambled eggs and it made a huge difference.

My ds is a boredom eater but he also doesn’t drink enough water. If he’s out and about or busy then he just doesn’t get as hungry.

Kids have way more energy than we give them credit for. I get exhausted looking at mine. If you keep them busy, they’ll not want as much food. Just decent filling meals 😂😂

Have you considered taking her to see a doctor? Besides boredom or comfort eating there could be something physically or even mentally happening.
Have a chat with her - have you asked her why she always is hungry?
There’s got to be a reason why she’s eating so much, like being bullied at one of her activities or as PP have said, boredom.
I had the opposite problem - skinny as a rail DD & I couldn’t get her to eat. Turned out she was being bullied by a group of older girls. Once we straightened that out her appetite returned. She was 8 at the time.

Too many carbs. She needs more animal fat and protein. Bulking out meals with jacket potatoes won't work. If she's getting overweight that's because you are giving her the wrong foods. If you really care you would research this properly. Zero carb is the way forward including no fruits and no vegetables - just Google it - there's a wealth of information out there.

You seem VERY invested in whether she’s overweight or not OP. (Not that it’s a bad thing in the scheme of where lots of kids are, but it does seem to telegraph some bad attitudes about relationship with food!) It would do her the world of good if your DD can learn to self-regulate, rather than you battling to do it for her, but that means giving her the leeway to eat MORE if she’s had a very active day or may be teeing up for a growth spurt as well as letting her leave food on a plate on days she’s full.

Do you have full fat milk in your household? You strike me as perhaps being a skim milk person and just need to relax a bit about the different nutritional requirements of growing children?

A lot of people have mentioned more protein, but actually the thing that can help a fruit or veg snack make you feel more full for longer is putting the protein and a healthy fat with it so it takes longer to digest. So if a snack was apple slices with peanut butter on, or a satsuma some nuts & a glass of full fat milk, or blueberries in some full fat plain yoghurt, they would all help to satiate her hunger better than just fruit & veg alone. It’s got to be worth giving it a try for the rest of the school holidays, as she’s not going to trip into ‘overweight’ that quickly and it may give her better tools to regulate her hunger signals for the long term.

Other suggestions are carrot sticks-but with hummus, a boiled egg with pepper slices/sugar snap peas, oatcakes with cheese & cucumber slices, (the classic celery with cottage cheese or peanut butter, but good luck getting a 7 year old to eat that! ). Other slightly more effort intensive ideas here, but you get the idea... www.momjunction.com/articles/healthy-and-high-protein-snacks-for-kids_00386631/#gref

If she's not overweight, why torture her? She's active and a good weight.

Arguments about food create emotional problems. My children ate tremendous amounts of food just before a growth spurt.

However, it might be worth giving her a different kind of healthy food for breakfast? I can eat a box of cereal and still be hungry but eat a "normal" amount of protein from dinner the night before and be happily full.

I never had firm rules about what my dc had for snacks. I only had healthy food in our home and they helped themselves btwn meals. I would use fancy antique dishes for veg and fruit servings. Little stemmed dessert cups. Fancy trays and tea towels.

My mother had a childcare program. She was taught that children "graze" throughout the day and will get the calories that they need.

No fizzy drinks or junk in our home. But I never believed in the juice ban. I used a blender and made strawberry, pineapple. Banana, orange juice smoothies. Sometimes I added yogurt. That filled them up! They still love them!

To save money, i freeze fruit/berries on sale. I cut them into blender size pieces and freeze them. They make perfect healthy drinks.

My dc were 50% weight and 99% height. And no cavities. They are strong and healthy young adults with good teeth.

Think about how we evolved. We worked outside. We ate as close to earth as possible. We didn't have "experts" paid by big corporations trying to sell us processed junk. Like hazelnut chocolate spread.

Make easy healthy foods like crepes, smoothies and your own chicken nugs or fish fingers. Your dc will be healthy and also learning good skills.

We had sturdy stools for them to use at the counter while I made food from scratch. Both are good cooks now.

DC like what we make special. Make eating healthy fun and interesting and your dc will think you're amazing and they will be healthy!

Sometimes we mistake hunger for thirst? Maybe encourage some more fluids?

I’d urge you to read Bee Wilson’s brilliant book “How we learn to eat”. Making an issue out of food has been consistently proven to cause obesity.

Some bizarre comments on here!!

It’s kinda pointless comparing one child to another. If she is consistently hungry, give more food (yogurt & fruit, toast & pb etc) if she is boredom grazing, she is not going to pile on weight in the couple of weeks remaining if school hols. FWIW I think school life is very sedentary in many cases. They sit at desks a lot, in the holidays kids are active and burning more calories being out and about - stands to reason they’re hungrier too.

I have had a similar battle with one of my DD. We went through a phase of letting both DC have boxed cereals, such as Rice Krispies or Crunchy Nut and within less than an hour would be hungry again wanting something else. Fruit/Veg or healthy snacks were always offered first but never wanted and youngest DD would always be asking for crisps or other crap. We argued that crisps etc aren’t filling and if she was actually hungry, she’d happily eat fruit. Her weight isn’t an issue at all but wanted her to have healthier habits. We swapped “processed” cereals for porridge or eggs & toast aswell as doing more activities during the day (less TV time) and she’s pretty much stopped asking for snacks. Im certain it’s a mix of boredom and those non filling cereals.
I agree with others that you don’t want to make food a battle but if she is genuinely starving, she’d definitely accept the healthy snacks you’re offering.

Yeah fruit is full of sugar and should be limited.

It sounds like she's consuming a lot of carbs. They make your blood sugar spike ans then drop like a stone. Try and get some protein and healthy fat in... Lean bacon and or eggs to fill her up. X

My god. We are really ridiculous about food in this country.
You're not giving her anywhere near enough protein or fibre. Don't even consider restricting food unless you are giving her balanced nutrition. You'll mess her up forever.

Eggs for breakfast otherwise porridge. If my kids don't get a good start to the day, it's a slippery slope. Fruit, nuts, natural yoghurt. Soup/sandwich for lunch, but always with cucumber/fomatoes/pepper/celery etc, whatever we have for dinner, which will always have decent protein, either from nuts/lentils/chickpeas or meat/fish and piles of veg.
My 7 year old boy occasionally snacks on fruit/dried fruit, my 9 year old daughter never does.
We're at my mum's at the minute and it's more cereal/squash to drink etc and they're grumpy and wanting to snack.