To stop my daughter (what I see as) overeating?

[isthisfairidontknow]

She's 7, fit and healthy but neither skinny nor fat. Does gym, dance, etc each week.

But she has an enormous appetite. And we keep clashing over it.

For example this morning she has cried that she is hungry but has had a bowl of rice crispies, a banana and a cheese sandwich. She's only been up since 7. I've made her have a big drink in case she is thirsty. I would be full if I had that.

Yesterday she had a bowl of bran flakes, strawberries, breadsticks and Nutella (as a snack) mid morning, kids portion of fish chips and peas (at a restaurant) and apple crumble and custard for lunch then 'green pasta' for tea (peas, pesto, courgette, garlic, onions) and a corner yoghurt for pudding.

There is a rule in our house that food is unlimited but if it's outside of mealtimes it's fruit veg and water or milk. And I've offered all of that but she's still whinging on.

She's been like this every day of the holidays and it's relentless every day. Even before the holidays she was always complaining about portion size, 'can I have more? I'm hungry etc'

Is she just chancing it for more food? Because she doesn't want the fruit and veg and water on offer.

[Feefsie]

Don’t turn food into an issue at 7. If she is hungry then get some filling foods to choose from. Avoid low fat dairy as not good for kids. I have always had a big appetite and generally I eat whatever I want. Breakfast cereal makes me feel hungrier so I have eggs, cheese, full fat Greek yogurt. She might just need to eat more in the early part of the day and will naturally taper off in the evening. Try a few days in the holidays with a big cooked breakfast and a substantial lunch.

[EllenMP]

Please do NOT start food shaming your daughter. Some kids (including and possibly even especially) thin ones need more fuel than others. And even if she is overweight that is preferable to developing mental health problems because she told you over and over that she was hungry and you denied her food because you decided there was a 'right' amount and she didn't need any more.

Eating disorders are among the hardest mental illnesses to cure and the most likely to result in death. Don't give your daughter one by telling her she is eating "too much" . By all means limit the sugar and processed foods available as snacks, but please do not tell her she is not hungry when she says she is. You are not inside her body and do not know what she feels. Kids need to listen to their bodies, not be told their bodies are doing something wrong.

I personally do not feel satisfied if I am hungry and eat an apple. My blood sugar spikes and then falls and I feel hungry again all over. Perhaps your daughter needs carbs or protein when she is hungry instead of sugary fruit or fibrous vegetables? Try paying attention to what she may be craving and why instead of performatively issuing decrees about what is allowed between meals.

By all means keep your house a junkfood free zone and take her out and about in case she is eating from boredom. But if she is hungry, please feed her something that addresses her hunger.

[AreYouJoking66]

My son was the same as a child, he was always looking for extra food and was overweight but GP said there was no help unless he was diabetic! He didn't seem to ever know when he was full no matter what he ate...and still doesn't. There's no straight answer I'm afraid except keep the exercise going. He's a teenager now and I have no control over what he eats when he's out with his friends so I hope you're able to get better help than I could find before she gets to the teenage years.

[Booyahkasha]

More protein and porridge and as long as they burn it off, snacks are fine! Mine are super active and I'm relaxed about this.

[cariad73]

Didn't read the whole thread, naturally, but came here to add the 256th message to reiterate that rather than worrying she is eating too much, I would focus more on a healthy balance. More protein! Less simple carbs and sugar! Ditch the cereal. Its a pointless food. Nutella is basically sugar and vegetable oil. Horrible stuff.

[RoseLillian]

I understand your concerns. My oldest Dd (age 3 and a half) has days like this. They are growing though and you can’t possibly know what they need. My niece (now 9) has always put a lot of food away. She isn’t quite so bad now, but probably at a similar age to your Dd it was shocking the amount of food she ate. She has always been tiny for her age and very very skinny. I can only put it down to her being sporty and generally not knowing the meaning of sitting still. I think the only thing you can do if you are still worried is increase the amount of protein and vegetables in her meals and go for wholemeal/ whole grain bread, pasta etc. As others have said.

I have battled with my weight my entire adult life. I went through a bad spell where I pretty much stopped eating and dropped from a size 16 to ending up having to wear kids clothes as all adult clothes were too big. Luckily I had help and started eating again, although I am now overweight. I think part of my issues are the fact my Mum was very strict over food when I was a kid. She also would point out if I’d put on weight and tell me I needed to eat less. I found it very upsetting. You really don’t want to be that Mum.

[Nettie1964]

Don't make food an issue. I have 2 V slim sons but my my daughter 😒 she's in her late 20s I felt helpless try distraction and exercise x

[isthisfairidontknow]

I try really not to talk to her about limiting food really my concern was whether she actually could be hungry or whether us was habitual/ boredom, and the answer seems to be yes because she isn't getting enough fibre and protein. So I've changed what I offered. She had porridge the first day after I created this discussion then crepes with eggs this morning and it has made a difference.

We were at a museum today and ate in the cafe and had one of those awful lunch box things sandwich, crisps, Fruit drink etc and guess what... she's asking for snacks as the crappy lunch box didn't fill her. But we have home made chicken burgers and salad for tea and she had some apple and soreen for her snack and she's been ok.

I'm agreeing with the consensus of part unbalanced diet, part boredom and trying to fix it!

[LovelyIssues]

Could be boredom, could be a growth spurt or she could just naturally have a big appetite

[Putyourdamnshoeson]

Brilliant news op. Think of it as habit rather than boredom. She's used to feeling hungry, so is topping up often. If she starts feeling more satiated, the habit will start to break.
Good luck.

[CountryGirl1234]

I’d up her protein intake, lots of white flour type things in there which don’t help satisfy hunger and only make it worse.

More Protein, less poor carbs.

[Missingstreetlife]

I hope all the porridge makers are using milk (soy or almond milknare fine) for protein, not nearly as good with water
I don't know why ppl think starving children is a good idea. Salad is also not very nourishing for every meal. She should be having a variety of coloured vegetables incl root and leafy, also pulses (humus is great) and whole grain rice, brown bread and pasta a well as potato.

[00100001]

Almond milk has hardly any protein in it...0.5g per 100ml, compared to 3g per 100ml of cow's.

[00100001]

3.6g*

[00100001]

And how are "salad" vegetables less nourishing than other veggies?

Pretty sure the carrots and spinach you use in salads are just as "nourishing" as the carrots and spinach served with mash and pie....

[Missingstreetlife]

If you use carrots. Lettuce and cucumber is mostly water

[00100001]

Most vegetables are mostly water.... carrots are 88% water.... Broccoli 89%... Asparagus 93%...

What's your point?

[00100001]

How is the lettuce which has around 95% water, any less nourishing than ... Cabbage which has around 91% water?

[Pasteldenata]

My kids eat whenever they want, they can have crisps etc if they are hungry between meals - they are all really slim. I’ve always eaten what I want - sometimes I have really hungry days where I don’t stop, and then usually a period where I am barely hungry at all for a few days. I’ve always been size 8/ 10 (apart from pregnancy when I ate like a beast the whole time and gained a lot of weight)

My kids are similar. Sometimes they crave fruit and eat loads, sometimes carbs, sometimes lots of protein. I think they self regulate when food isn’t restricted. We have quite small meals, probably because of grazing throughout the day.

And I would hate someone telling me I wasn’t hungry when I knew I was, it is someone else attempting to define your reality and just seems cruel.

[Nicpem1982]

My dd is 5 and is also very active she does organised activities of ballet, tap, drama, swimming, skiing and mixed martial arts when not at activities she's climbing trees and running around with her friends. Like your daughter she is neither under nor over weight. My dd also eats alot and I don't really worry about it as she's so active

On a normal day she will eat

Breakfast - eggs and toast or porridge followed by fruit

Snack - cheese crackers and veggies

Lunch--soup, bread roll, Yoghurt, fruit portion

Snack - veggies/salsa/1/2 pack Crisps

Dinner pasta and garlic bread /fruit

On a hungry day she will eat more I really don't worry too much