To ask what's 'normal'?

[Andysbestadventure]

Shamelessly posting for traffic.

I'm trying to find out what's the 'norm' with toddler educational development. This is not a humble brag, I'm genuinely after advice on next steps or how to nurture, if needed, as I don't have anyone in real life I can ask to be honest.

My 2yrd old (26mths) so far is totally NT and developing very well socially and physically, but have been told he may be 'advanced' when it comes to learning.

He's currently happily counting up to 20, learned to count to ten probably a year ago now, can name all shapes, colours, even differentiating between shades of colours for a few like lilac instead of just purple. Has known his Alphabet for several months too.

His fine motor skills are excellent and he holds crayons well and tries to 'colour' properly. He tries to copy what we draw too. He reads ahead (by quoting the next page) in books before we've even turned the page.

He has always been ahead with speech and took to baby signing before that like a duck to water. He talks well and has short conversations already.

He seems to absorb everything. As silly as this sounds, I thought half of this was normal, half of it was just him maybe being a bit ahead. But apparently maybe not?

The HV said he was very advanced - more than she'd seen in years. We've been to two nurseries recently to view them and the staff have commented the same. So has our GP 😳 But no one seems to be able to offer advice or point us in the right direction to nurture it in the right way.

Do we even need to do much? Is he advanced or are they all just blowing hot air?

He seems very bright.

I'd say just let him do what he wants because he doesn't seem to have to learn much more before he starts school. Just let him play now.

Just let him be. Let him play and socialise.

😂

Op, he sounds as bright as a button but you don't need to do anything different to 'nurture' him. Just play with him, read to him, chat to him, give him crayons and paper etc etc. He'll do just great!

I'm trying to find out what's the 'norm' with toddler educational development. This is not a humble brag, I'm genuinely after advice on next steps or how to nurture, if needed, as I don't have anyone in real life I can ask to be honest

Genuinely, why did you think posting here would be better than googling "gifted toddler tips" or something?

Just carry on doing what you're doing.

That's nurturing in the right way.

Also, be prepared for his peers to catch up in the next couple of years and possibly 'get ahead' of him.

the only rbi g I’d be doing is making sure he went to the best schools I could get him into as he sounds very bright.

Carry on doing what you’re doing and if it does carry on when he’s older, don’t put too much pressure on him.

The only person I know that could read at 2 and was probably similar level, has the IQ of 180 or so.

I suppose the challenge will be to keep him challenged or offer appropriate stimulation as top set work in school etc will be way too easy and it can get frustrating.

I agree with pp, let him be. Let him play and socialise with other kids his own age. He does sound bright but I think it's best to let him be a 2yr old. Let him go out in he garden and get muddy, be silly etc. When he starts school it can then be nurtured as much as is necessary.

I often think people forget that children are children! Let them have fun! I believe that socialising well is a huge skill to master in itself and can often be forgotten about if a child is clever.

so HV, nurseries and GP (professionals who have met DS) told you he is ahead. Why would you need this professional opinion validated by non professionals who have never met your DS?

Fwiw, DD2 was similar. far ahead - speaking in complete sentences at 18 months when friends toddlers only had a handful of words, counting early, drawing early etc. she stood out. by 5-6 other kids had caught up with her and is is now a very average child (8 year old) and not outstanding academically. HTH.

Read with him, play with him, help him to follow his interests... seems pretty obvious to me.

He reads ahead (by quoting the next page) in books before we've even turned the page.

how is he reading if you haven't turned the page? he is clearly extraordinary!

He just has memorised the story. very common.

@Dailyfailisfulloffail because I wanted specific advice and given this is 'mumsnet', it's a pool of parents who may have experienced similar, also parents who happen to work in relevant fields that may offer advice. And google is full of nethuns replies like yours, frankly, and no actual advice. If it's not relevant to you then why even bother to reply?

@thebig3 we do. He spends most of his time outdoors getting mucky and socialising ☺️

I suppose one question is is he actually reading or reciting? What happens with a book he's never seen before? Can he read that? A lot of kids IME recite, not read.

I could read before I went to school, because I'm stubborn and didn't want to wait until mum was ready to read me a story.

I'd be guided by him. Encourage the things he enjoys. Show him new things and take them further if he shows an interest. Don't push, don't make it hard work. Have you thought about music? Fun toddler music lessons.

He sounds bright but I don't think anything you described is off the charts in terms of development.

Don't do anything differently unless he seems unhappy. Read books, visit parks, etc do normal stuff.

Deciding a child is 'gifted' and placing that kind of expectation on them can be disastrous. A lot of people I know who were labeled as gifted as children grew up to live miserable and unsuccessful lives. Generally being hard working and personable will get a person much further in life than natural ability.

I was identified as gifted as a child but my parents never told me, treated me the same, were happy to see me succeed at some stuff and fail at others like any other child. I choose an area of study I loved, a career I am passionate about. Free from any pressure to be 'exceptional' or any fear of wasting innate potential. I am so glad they did that instead of getting swept up in the idea that I was special. Special is overrated.

I agree it does sound more like reciting rather than reading - and overall from what you’ve said it sounds like he has a great memory for his age and enjoys picking up and memorising new things. There’s more to being ‘bright’ than memorising things though - especially once he is in school problem solving and reasoning skills will often be a clearer indicator of ‘being ahead’ or ‘mastering’ things.

@k1233 I didn't say he could read, I said he was 'reading ahead' in the books, as in he's memorised them and recites the next page as we go along. These aren't little picture books with one or two words. Apparently this isn't 'typical' which is what I'm trying to clarify, along with everything else, because
I think maybe they're just blowing smoke.

And if they're not then I want to keep the momentum going, in the right way, strike the right balance, but apparently some mumsnet users take umbridge with other parents wanting to do that

He sounds very bright. Just keep following his interests.

My son is similar. He's three now and knows a lot of the times table, can add multiple numbers and can subtract.

I've felt the same as you, but I'm just going to keep teaching him new things as long as he's still interested. Just carry on doing what you're doing, as you're obviously doing something right!

Might work on division this week!

He sounds clever, but not extraordinary. My daughter is the same age and cant count to 20 or differentiate between colours so well, but does hold a crayon and colour, "reads" (recites) books and can have a conversation.

I think just doing a variety of things with him e.g. days out, crafts, reading, games and puzzles, like you would do with any child. Whatever you've been doing up to now had obviously been working so just carry on. I think fostering an interest in reading and books is very important and it seems that you've been doing that.

I have 4 children. First was like yours early talker and early learner.. Now at 9 is middle to average. My second child didn't speak until she was 3 and a half and is now in year at 3 working at greater depth across most subjects and way above average. They all catch up. My youngest son is doing similar things at 2 and a half as your son is, picked it up from his older siblings again, don't think it's anything gifted just he's picked stuff up earlier. They are all different and it evens out at school. Keep whatever your doing I think a leave him to learn what ever he wants and keep it all play based at this age.

Also just wondering does he actually "count" to 20 - as in if you gave him 18 things he could count how many there are - or is he just able to say the words off by heart?
Same with the alphabet. Learning the alphabet song isn't any harder to learn than any other song so unless he actually knows what it means (can recognise letter shapes or something) he doesn't really know the alphabet

Op he sounds pretty similar to my 2 year old who I would also say is ‘ahead’ compared to some of my other dc at that age. There’s a book that may be worth reading called “5 levels of gifted” by Deborah ruf, if you’re interested in finding out more about typical and gifted development maybe worth a read.
One main thing that stands out between “gifted” and bright is how quickly they pick things up, and seeing them make connections between different things. Any bright child can be taught the alphabet, shapes etc but what stands out is when you haven’t “trained” the child in a topic - eg alphabet (just let them be exposed to it) and they straight away seem to know it without effort? Also, gifted children sometimes have a really high level of intensity to them
With the “reading ahead” book memorising thing... it’s a wide one because I’m sure most children do it with the usual rhyming books like the grufallo, or basic spot the dog etc but if it’s longer books with a higher level of vocabulary then it feels a bit different?
If he’s happy now, I’d just continue with whatever you’re doing. Keep educational resources accessible for him when he wants, and let him explore but I personally wouldn’t panic and feel like you should be doing xyz. Take it as it comes as school time comes around and see what his needs are at that stage?

My son is a similar age, he’s 25 months. He can count to 50, knows his alphabet, can differentiate between colour shades and reads ahead. I’ve been told the same things you have but while I’m happy he’s doing well and pleased that people can see this I’m also more than happy to leave him to develop at his own pace with activities suitable for his age. The last thing I want is for him to pressured to become some child genius when really I think he just has a great memory.