To ask what's 'normal'?

[Andysbestadventure]

Shamelessly posting for traffic.

I'm trying to find out what's the 'norm' with toddler educational development. This is not a humble brag, I'm genuinely after advice on next steps or how to nurture, if needed, as I don't have anyone in real life I can ask to be honest.

My 2yrd old (26mths) so far is totally NT and developing very well socially and physically, but have been told he may be 'advanced' when it comes to learning.

He's currently happily counting up to 20, learned to count to ten probably a year ago now, can name all shapes, colours, even differentiating between shades of colours for a few like lilac instead of just purple. Has known his Alphabet for several months too.

His fine motor skills are excellent and he holds crayons well and tries to 'colour' properly. He tries to copy what we draw too. He reads ahead (by quoting the next page) in books before we've even turned the page.

He has always been ahead with speech and took to baby signing before that like a duck to water. He talks well and has short conversations already.

He seems to absorb everything. As silly as this sounds, I thought half of this was normal, half of it was just him maybe being a bit ahead. But apparently maybe not?

The HV said he was very advanced - more than she'd seen in years. We've been to two nurseries recently to view them and the staff have commented the same. So has our GP 😳 But no one seems to be able to offer advice or point us in the right direction to nurture it in the right way.

Do we even need to do much? Is he advanced or are they all just blowing hot air?

Ah, OP, he’s probably peaked and it’s all downhill from now on

Sounds like my kids... And my friends. He sounds very bright and also very normal. Sorry not what you want to hear OP but with today's technology and all the songs they can watch and listen too kids tend to recite and remember. Mine can count in different languages because they keep listening to different songs over and over and over again. People think it's impressive. İt's not they just remember things with music. They don't know they are counting in Spanish etc. Just keep doing what you are doing and he will carry on doing well

It sounds like you're doing the right thing already! I wouldn't worry too much about any formal nurturing / education at this stage. Once he is in school they can advise on that. At his age it's all about him playing, having fun and developing social skills.

Most kids' toys, songs, games etc are designed to nurture their skills anyway. If you think he's bored with things for his age range, and it's safe to do so, you could give him some things aimed at older children.

They all develop at different rates op, some are more ahead socially or empathetically for example at this stage. I'm afraid it's no indication at all that he'll be the next Einstein, or even that he'll do well in year 2 sats.
Just keep challenging him to the next level.
Also, of course any nursery who you're looking to spend your money with is going to say positive things about your child.
Please tell us you didn't specifically go to the doctor because you think he's ahead?!?

(I have to say I am so amused by all the snide posters on this thread who are so desperate to put OP in her place for suggesting her child is gifted. Cat bum mouths all round...)

If he is memorising books, he is not reading. That’s not what reading is. Lots and lots of children memorise their stories.

Is he actually counting twenty things, or just repeating the word pattern 1-20?

Talk to
Him. Read to
Him. Take him out exploring. Do classes.

He sounds very clever! I don't think he sounds "average" at all. I do agree with PP that quite often children just learn by reciting, and so whether he really knows how to count etc or not may be debatable.

But OP you really don't know at 26 months if he is NT. I didn't worry about my DS being not NT until after he turned 3 when his play group flagged a couple of things. I have no idea whether he is now, and we won't for quite some time. But his private nursery had never flagged anything and he certainly appeared to be developing very typically. A lot of non NT children are missed until school.

I don't think you need to do anything in particular just provide opportunity for him to learn and play.
My DD was very similar at that age but evened out and is the higher end of average now.
My god daughter who has been labelled as gifted at 9, didn't say anything other than 'no' or babbling until she was almost 3. She really struggles emotionally and is very immature in that sense which is apparently quite common in very bright children.

Ex teacher here. 'Reading ahead' the next page is just him quoting from memory if you've not turned the page yet. Toddlers do that with well worn favourites. The numbers, colours etc is not exceptional, I've met toddlers who can count to twenty in 3 languages by 2 . They were all pretty average ability once at primary school with their peers.

Sounds fairly normal to me. There's nothing you should be doing other than the norm- play with him etc
I'm not sure what you'd expect to be told.

Just keep going as you are OP.

To be absolutely honest, my DS was similar at that age and I was convinced he was “gifted.” Various people said the same. Now he’s 16 and although he’s hoping for all 7/8/9s in his GCSEs, I wouldn’t say he was academically gifted, no. He’s in a very selective school and he’s average.

There are so many developmental phases. Some children don’t read or “get”numeracy until they’re 8, but then they simply overtake others in a matter of months. DC that seem to stand out at 2, sometimes don’t by the time they’re 6 or whatever. I have 3 DC and have seen this over and over again.

Chances are he’ll do well school though, so it’s good news!

Also he's not reading ahead at all. Just has the story memorised which is normal at that age

Honestly OP I think it's probably too late. If you were going to nurture his obvious genius you should have started by now, sorry.

You don't need anything "extra" if he's learned all that without the "hot housing" that some go in for he will continue to learn nursery/ your home/ getting out to interesting places will provide enough learning well into school age. Enjoy his young years, don't start obsessing about what new thing he has learned or what mark etc.

You say he plays outside, I’d recommend continuing this. Also I’d suggest music classes ☺️

Music classes are meant to help with numeracy and literacy development

Wow some mean comments here! My DD was also told same as yours, and is still advanced now (8), but it has come at a cost. She always works with the older children instead of her own age group, and her social confidence could definitely use some work (maybe because of this?). I would rather they just developed with their peers and maybe had the luxury of finding it all a bit easy! Apart from getting into good schools where possible, I would focus on social skills...often more useful in the workplace than genius maths/whatever anyway! As a teenager he will discover his own interests and maybe choose to devote time to those by himself. Self-motivated us best. Other than that just expose him to experiences - zoos, playgrounds, theatre etc. Good luck!

Genuinely, why did you think posting here would be better than googling "gifted toddler tips" or something?

Little unfair given that 90% of threads on here could be solved by googling

Just read others suggesting music. Yes, agree with that, although too young yet for proper lessons. Maybe at 6/7?

There are gifted and talented programmes in most primary schools with options for expanding curriculum knowledge for those who are able and want to access it. In my opinion 2 is far too young to put a label on a child. My niece was branded talented as a young child, sent to private school at great personal sacrifice to my BIL and his wife and then rebelled as a teenager and did not even go to university. Leave it for a few years and maybe do as much as possible out of school with him and relax. If you go into his reception class saying he is gifted be prepared for the teacher to give you short shrift. There are many parents who think that.

My DD could do all that at that age too. They tend to all level out a bit with time.

You don't need to do anything.
My 2 year 4 month old is reading 3 letter words, I just move onto the next thing for him to try if he wants to, if he's not interested I just leave it. I am a mum of 3 and he's my first one like that, it's just the way they naturally are you don't need to change what you're doing or nurture it. I don't get the point of this post.

Oh and when I say reading, he isn't memorising words, he goes "d.. o... g...dog"

He's great at that stuff but not the best with communication. I don't think it's a gifted thing and I imagine they're just going through a bit of a development growth spurt.

It doesn't really matter whether he's more advanced than other children. He just needs you to go with him at any stage he's at. My four children were all different, and it's only now, looking back, that I realise how bright and ahead my 3rd child was. If your child was six, and doing what he's doing, what would you be doing? Most of us at some stage have said "He can do those puzzles/read those books/ manage proper Lego now...let's move to the next stage up" and that's all that you need to do.