To firmly encourage DD to get a PT job?

[Wrongdissection]

DD is 16 in a couple of weeks, I have spent today sitting with her writing a CV and applying online for jobs for her (with her beside me). She isn’t unenthusiastic about the idea but I know if she was left to her own devices she probably wouldn’t bother. I’m not asking her to work all hours and any money she earns will be her own but I feel really strongly that she needs to get out there and get a job and start learning new skills as early as possible.

DH on the other hand says I’m pushing too hard and need to chill out, ‘she’s not even 16 yet’. There might even have been an eye roll.

DH and I have always been employed, both from a young age with PT jobs before we settled in our chosen careers and worked alongside school/uni etc. DD as I say just doesn’t seem to have that drive to work just yet and I really want to encourage it.

Am I being too pushy and need to lay off?

Encourage is good - she will have more success in September/October when the first wave of new uni undergrads have departed and shops have their 'staff wanted for Christmas' adverts out.

Encouragement is good, it’s important to learn the value of money from a young age.
It might be a bit harder than it used to be though, Saturday jobs etc seem to be rarer these days and with things like zero hour contracts it seems a lot of workers can’t get the hours they need - so it might be more competitive out there with more people vying for the work.

She’ll get out there and get a bit of independence and she’ll love the spending part

DD has secured two part time jobs

The one was off the back of work experience the other she was the only applicant.

The first step is the hardest - good luck to her

I was pushy on mine she did get a job

I have to ferry her back and forth and sometimes my work doesn’t match up with hers which is stressful

She spends all her money in the first week

Moans all the time about working 😂

Also thinks I know nothing about working

I still think I am doing her the world of good and she will thank me one day but a lot of people on MN seem to think 16yo should not be at work because they need to relax after a hard year at school

DD is very bored when she isn’t working now so it goes to show she does see some value even if she is going to forever moan about it. She’s also made loads of new friends

You sound to me as if you have gone over the encouragement line into the pushy/controlling territory. She isn’t 16 yet and as such will probably struggle to get much. That in itself is likely to be quite demotivating for her - either the lack of job offers or the actual job itself. Perhaps encourage her once she has turned 16 but let her do the actual groundwork. Otherwise you are just helicopter parenting her in a different way.

Her studies are the most important thing at this age, so unless she can find something which is holidays only or very part time I wouldn't push her personally.

She’s not even 16 - what sort of place do you think will employ a 15 year old?

One that’s dodgy AF.

YABU

I was actually surprised just how much was out there, we did 3 applications and each of them were for 8 hours per week. We could have done more but even I thought I best rein it in a bit.

I haven’t raised her expectations about actually getting any of these jobs but more I’ve taken the approach of ‘you’ve got to be in it to win it’ and ‘it’s got to be someone so why not you?’ 🤷🏼‍♀️

I get the helicopter parent accusations but what I don’t want is for her to just not bother her arse because she is a lazy sod at heart and will do the bare minimum unless she is given a good shove. I do take it on board though.

@hashtagthathappened she’s 16 in 3 weeks. Most of the jobs have said there is a 4 week period to wait to hear back following closure of the application. We’re on holiday for the next two weeks anyway

Maybe OP and I accept that.

Just the same, IME places that employ minors don’t treat them brilliantly.

She might have luck as a Christmas temp but I really would be cautious.

Is that 16 on 31/8 and has just done GCSEs (in which case YANBU),
or 16 on 1/9 and about to enter y11 (in which case YABU)?

@TeenTimesTwo it’s the latter but what is the difference?

The difference to me is that in y11 she should be focussing on getting the very best GCSEs she can, and not having to spend 'downtime' doing a part time job.

You do sound like you're being too pushy. Encouragement is good, but she needs to want to do it herself. From what you have written it sounds as though this is just what you expect her to do. Push too hard and she is more likely to resist

YANBU - encouragement is great and having her own financial independence (to a point) is invaluable IMO. She’ll learn so many life skills by having a job.

High-achieving DD got a PT job at 16 with my blessing, and preferred it to school - she dropped out and spent a while working in fast food. She's now 10 years on, wondering when and whether the pressures of work and family will allow her to do a PT degree.

Hmmm... yes education is important, but so is learning to be responsible and independent. At 14 I was a ‘Saturday girl’ in the local hairdressers and when I turned 16 I worked weekends in retail - 16 hours a week and overtime if I could do it. I loved working and now I have a child I want them to do similar as I feel it’s important.

Do, I work at a uni and the generally kids who are used to having jobs are more confident, more successful when it comes to finding placements, and more likely to have graduate jobs lined up when they leave. Learning to be part of a team, to work even when it’s hard or boring, and developing skills in customer service, timekeeping, and handling money are invaluable. I’ve told my tweens that as soon as they’re old enough they’re getting part time jobs.

Try applying to places she likes shopping in - my DD would love a job in Jack Wills or Hollister, or places she likes to go to, such as Pizza Hut or McDonalds, or the local trampoline park, or wherever I’d handy.

When I was young I worked in the corner shop, a dodgy local clothing shop, in catering at an airport, and in Next, as well as a number of bars. I loved all of them, and having money to buy the clothes and go out, and treat my mum now and again, was a bonus.

Also to add I was high achieving, always have been and it’s been invaluable to sell those transferable skills.

Actually - if this is her GCSE year I’d hold off and get her to apply after.

8 hours work a week leaves plenty of time for revising for GCSEs and socialising. Mine had work at 15, local cafe, did them the world of good to deal with the public, manage their money etc.

Times have changed since I was 13 16 , I had a paper round and on a friday I collected glasses and emptied ashtrays in my local pub

I went on to having a job at that pub , and many years in the pub trade after , so it is worth your DD looking for a job either to just earn some pocket money or to try out a few trades that she may be interested in going into in the future .

Just be careful to not try to live your dream through her , I have seen some parents do that and it normally ends up badly.

I worked from 16 - my family was poor so I needed the money.

I wouldn’t encourage the same for my child at the same age - it’s a distraction from school.

I have heard several teachers on here say they don’t recommend part-time jobs during term time whilst studying GCSEs or A-Levels.

I think YABU.

I voted YANBU but I've changed my mind with her going into YR11. She's going to need those 8hrs a week for homework and revision. The time to apply is straight after she's finished her GSCEs. Both my 2, and all their mates, got part time jobs then.