To firmly encourage DD to get a PT job?

[Wrongdissection]

DD is 16 in a couple of weeks, I have spent today sitting with her writing a CV and applying online for jobs for her (with her beside me). She isn’t unenthusiastic about the idea but I know if she was left to her own devices she probably wouldn’t bother. I’m not asking her to work all hours and any money she earns will be her own but I feel really strongly that she needs to get out there and get a job and start learning new skills as early as possible.

DH on the other hand says I’m pushing too hard and need to chill out, ‘she’s not even 16 yet’. There might even have been an eye roll.

DH and I have always been employed, both from a young age with PT jobs before we settled in our chosen careers and worked alongside school/uni etc. DD as I say just doesn’t seem to have that drive to work just yet and I really want to encourage it.

Am I being too pushy and need to lay off?

Have you looked at the GCSE requirements for your local sixth form?
Ours requires 6s as a baseline and then for high demand courses they take the best which pushes it up to an 8 for some A levels.

You have to balance job vs GCSE grades and getting 5s and 6s may not make the cut off for sixth form and so that extra time is better spent going after an 8 than working PT as a cashier in a shop.

I don't really get this whole "kids must get a job as soon as they turn 16" mentality. I think it's probably a cultural thing in the UK ?

I also don't think it's a bad thing if a child wants to work. But the keyword there is "wants".

Certainly working so young may be beneficial to some children, just as it may not be so great for others. Sweeping generalizations don't work there, it really depends on the kids.

There are also other endeavours that are just as worthwhile as getting a job (learn a language, engage in sports, learn music, whatever).

I think a child develops at their own pace. Obviously there are some basic things they should all do (help with house chores, get decent grades) but I don't thing getting a job is the be-all and end-all. I think the most important thing is fostering a good attitude.

I'd talk to my child if they want more money/seem to be bored and explore options. Getting a job would be one thing they could do but so would taking part in an association, doing sports, doing extra chores for extra pocket money...

If the child is happy, doesn't ask for extra money and keep themselves busy, I don't see the point of making them get a job.

You mention your daughter would like more money, and it's very reasonable to deny her more than a normal amount of pocket money. But if that doesn't motivate her to find a job on her own, forcing her to do it isn't really gonna work. Not least of all, if she doesn't want to be there, people will most likely feel it and that's not going to be a great experience for anyone...

So, long story short, talk to her about it but don't write her CV for her, don't send applications for her, don't hover while she does it (or doesn't), and be ready to accept that she may not be ready to work yet.

Frankly, I don't think time spent working at 16 is valuable. It can become valuable if the child is motivated and turns it into a good experience but otherwise it's just a waste of everyone's time.

She’s only year 10? YABVU.

Sandy with work being a relief from it

I think that's the crux. If work is a welcome break, then that's fine.
If work feels like yet another slog & commitment, then that becomes an issue.
I agree, you can't spend all your time doing schoolwork. But you can choose to do sport, or a club, or see friends to relax - all of which you can cancel at short notice if needed.

The fact that I had held down a part-time job since 16 really impressed the interviewers from my grad scheme assessment centre. I beat out candidates who had had Summer internships with the world's biggest companies.

As a 16 yo I actually really enjoyed working in John Lewis and socialising with people my age that attended different schools (I went to an all-girls school). One day a week is hardly going to kill her and I'm sure she'll enjoy the extra spending money.

AngelasAshes I completely disagree with all your points. My first professional job after uni the hiring manager specifically said my previous part time jobs were one of the main reasons she interviewed me - lots of the other graduates had completely blank CVs. Surely for employers actual work experience is always going to be more relevant than unrelated random extra-curriculars? One of my best friends works in HR now and she rolls her eyes over 22 year olds who have done uni and travelled on their gap yah and all the rest but have never worked a day - those who have actually worked at some point will always get the priority for interview and will usually interview better because they have better examples than 'the time someone stole my tent at Glasto.'

I worked 15 hours a week (more in the holidays) from the April of my GCSE year until I got my first full time job aged 21, and got the best grades in the school for GCSE, AS and A level and a 1st. Most of my friends who got good grades worked too, and the ones that didn't spent the extra time watching more TV, not studying harder (and before you ask how I know, because in uni at least, I lived with them!)

re: wages being a pittance, that was the point - I only learnt the value of money when I started earning it myself, and realising how hard I (and as a knock on, my parents) had to work to get the things I wanted.

Apart from anything else I learnt so much from my part time jobs: responsibility, commitment, how to interact with people of different ages and backgrounds to me. I made friends outside of school and grew hugely in confidence. I also learnt how hard it was to work, how physically tiring the traditional p/t student jobs (shop assistant, waitress etc.) are, and what dicks the general public could be, which made me more committed to studying hard and getting a job I'd enjoy in the future.

The only reason I wouldn't encourage any children of mine to get a pt job as early as possibly would be if they were really struggling at school and needed the extra time to revise, or if they were already very committed with extra-curriculars. Otherwise for the vast majority, I can't see how 8 hours a week would do any harm at all.

Yanbu. Both of mine were encouraged to get a p/t job at 16 and it's done them the world of good. Tesco are a particularly good option (they advertise all their vacancies online) as they pay them the same as the adults and are really flexible with shifts. They can have an 8 hour contract and do extra when it suits them.

No teenager should be working in year 11. Its massively stressful and full on and no teacher would encourage it in my children's schools. Year 11 is nose to the grindstone. Why are you so keen to push her into work? My son finished his GCSE's this year and went onto NCS for four weeks. He is shattered now and needs a break, He has been given bridging work to start his A level studies which he has to hand in on results day and I would not be badgering him to get a job yet. Let her enjoy her last peaceful summer holidays and slow down she will be grown up soon enough.

@onceandneveragain
There is a big difference between a 22yr old who has never had a job ever and a 16yr old “needing a job NOW” to impress hiring managers 6yrs down the road.
You are extrapolating my points about a 16-18yr old working as applying to 20-22yr olds.
They don’t.

From a hiring perspective post uni, no one cares if you got a job at 18 or 20 instead of at 16. You get no bonus. They only care if you are 22 with a freshly minted degree and have never ever had a job whatsoever.

The OPs daughter is 15. 22 is 7 years away. There is no hurry and hurrying will take away some of her potential academic achievements.

Just to add, my pt job as a teenager improved my confidence tenfold and made me far more independent.

I’ve been a hiring manager a very long time now. And the lessons having a BS job can teach you take 12months max. All that about commitment, value of money, customer service, etc etc do not take 7yrs from age 16-22 to pick up & pontificate on.
It’s much more valuable to me to see breadth of experience than depth (unless depth is technically or skills related to job they are applying for).

I feel really sorry for this kid tbh

For me, the issue isn't the 8hrs/week as such, but the commitment at a regular time irrespective of tiredness / homework / mocks etc.

More and more jobs these days are not at fixed times. A lot of companies are more flexible with hours, and operate on a basis of sending out a message for those that want to work this event or that event, and you opt in and out accordingly. I know lots of youngsters that work like that, in catering/ service industries particularly. Then there is slightly more skilled work, like lifeguarding, where, when you are 'a casual' you pick up shifts as they fit round your other commitments.

@CherryPavlova Can you link to that "good evidence" please?

@Debfronut You are over generalising. " No teenager should be working in year 11. Its massively stressful and full on". Not every teenager is stressed out by school. Indeed, as has been said by previous posters, a break from study can be a great stress buster. "Year 11 is nose to the grindstone." Maybe being told that is pressure that many teens just don't need. All of us, at whatever stage of life we are, need to learn to find the right balance for our health and well being. To my mind, 100% concentraion on just one aspect of our lives, to the exclusion of everything else, is not a healthy mental diet.

She’s not even 16 - what sort of place do you think will employ a 15 year old?

One that’s dodgy AF.

It's perfectly legal to employ a 15-year-old part-time and lots of perfectly good, reputable employers do so. I get my hair cut in an award-winning salon known for its excellent training and apprenticeships, and they employ two 15-year-olds on Saturdays to staff the reception desk, sweep up, make tea for clients and assist the stylists.

I worked part-time from the age of 15 in a very well-known department store chain.

She’s not even 16 - what sort of place do you think will employ a 15 year old? One that’s dodgy AF

Completely disagree, Hashtagthathappened. My youngest is 15 and is the only one of mine who has got her act together to get a job. She took herself round possible employers, and ended up with a job in one of the most reputable local venues. She hates it and is paid relatively poorly, but it enables her to have some money to do the stuff she likes doing and which I can't/won't fund.

I wish her older siblings were as enterprising. Instead, they loaf around hoping that I will pay for them to do the things their little sister can do as a result of being enterprising (I won't).

FWIW, I am secretly matching DD's earnings and putting the same amount into a savings account, because I think she has done well not only to get herself a job, but to stick at it when she hates it.

She’s 16 in a couple of weeks, suggests she’s finished year 11.

Year 11 is nose to the grindstone.

Really? It certainly wasn't for my older ones, Debfronut. I can't imagine it will be for my youngest, either. Most reasonably bright and engaged children who have been to decent schools are pretty much bound to do ok in their GCSEs without too much grind.

One way or another, children doing their GCSEs or A levels need a structured break from studying - sport, hobby, volunteering, job. As important as a good diet and proper rest at this stage in life. Not all children are stressed by exams and a lot of them do prioritise their own work load and rise to the occasion when it really matters because most of them are intelligent, know what is good for them and actually make the effort to study properly. Any of these will demonstrate discipline, commitment, organisational skills.
I think it’s good to encourage children to get a part time job as early as possible. My own has been working, training regularly (5-7 times a week sometimes)for her sport activity, volunteering and got top marks throughout. Because she wanted to. I helped with lifts when it was needed and made sure meals and rest were adequate for the extra effort. All these combined, helped her get amazing work experience in her chosen industry for which she studies at higher education and when changing jobs she was in a much better position than other applicants. Her jobs also helped her to develop inter-personal skills as she can be quite reserved with strangers and in her future profession she will be required to deal with people at some point so she now has some experience of customer interaction and dealing with complaints. Her jobs did her a world of good. It is surprising how less clothes and expensive trainers she buys with her own money because I’m not funding much of that anymore. And she has successfully learned to save money for particular goals.
I’m all for it, as long as the child puts in the hours for their studying.
She sometimes complained how unfair it is that her hourly rate is so low compared to her parents’ but she has been motivated and actually enjoyed working especially as most of her colleagues were young.

@GreenTulips - no, OP was asked that earlier in the thread and confirmed she will be 16 in September, and will be starting Yr11 in September.

Starting year eleven? YABU. Let her study. Next summer she can get a job.

Making revising her job would be better! Unless she has a hobby with a natural job she could do connected to it (football coaching, mucking our stables, etc) then I’d leave her be.

Also, if she’s a lazy sod, you’re just pushing that onto her future employer. The worst 16 year old PT I had to manage in retail were the ‘my mum did my application form’ ones. And I was only a few years older myself.

I think it's hard as when I was growing up, jobs that teenagers did, weren't the same really as today. Friends worked in all manner of places. I can only imagine that is pretty restricted now, the only jobs she'll be suited for, might fill her with dread.

Does she have a hobby she could utilise? Is it about the money, or if DD volunteered, would that be ok in your eyes?

Experience comes in many forms.

I know it’s a different time now I’m a 90s baby and I worked at my first job when I was 13 yo, my own decision. And I’ve worked ever since. Built me up to have a great work ethic! I’ve really found that kids these days really do pull a smoke screen over their parents eyes, they’re out doing all sorts these days. Encourage her to get a job keep her out of bother! But if you are really wanting her to go into education it might not be the best route OP. You get addicted to the money.

It totally depends on what else they are doing as to whether strongly encouraging 16 year olds to work is reasonable or not. DD has at least two 12 hour days a week at school plus compulsory Saturday sport and 4-5 hours rehearsals for the school musical on Sunday at the moment. She has homework/assignments/exam revision on top of that. We want her to make the most of the educational opportunities she has been given, telling her to get a job would be ridiculous. If she got home every day at 3.30 with no weekend commitments then a job might be a good idea.

Personally I think at that age I wouldn't push it
I think the focus should be on their studies
They have all their lives to work

My 15 year old is working her 2nd summer. She tried work in a hairdressers for a couple of weeks last summer, hated it, and so started in a takeaway, taking orders. She only lasted a week or two after being back at school, but is at a different takeaway now, since about 3 weeks before breaking off. She does Friday and Saturdays, 5-9, gets paid £35-40 for the shift. She's also been babysitting 2 weekdays over the holidays for £25 a week. I have no expectations that she will keep it up when back at school, which is absolutely right, but was more to stop her lazing in her bedroom all summer.

Last year she got the job as she wanted a new iPhone, which I refused to find, saved up £400 for a second hand 6s+. This year, she's funded for herself lots of nails being done, new make up and a pretty little thing habit, as well as spending money for a trip with friends. So basically, she is earning to pay for luxuries and upgrades that we won't do for a 15 year old!