To firmly encourage DD to get a PT job?

[Wrongdissection]

DD is 16 in a couple of weeks, I have spent today sitting with her writing a CV and applying online for jobs for her (with her beside me). She isn’t unenthusiastic about the idea but I know if she was left to her own devices she probably wouldn’t bother. I’m not asking her to work all hours and any money she earns will be her own but I feel really strongly that she needs to get out there and get a job and start learning new skills as early as possible.

DH on the other hand says I’m pushing too hard and need to chill out, ‘she’s not even 16 yet’. There might even have been an eye roll.

DH and I have always been employed, both from a young age with PT jobs before we settled in our chosen careers and worked alongside school/uni etc. DD as I say just doesn’t seem to have that drive to work just yet and I really want to encourage it.

Am I being too pushy and need to lay off?

She's only 15 - I would wait until she's done her GCSE's.

Just don't be surprised when she finds it much, much harder than you did to find PT work. There are so many over 18s applying for PT jobs that it makes it much less tempting to hire younger staff as there are so many rules and regs on employing younger people.

Can you encourage her to plan her own business instead?

@SamBeckett no danger of living any dreams through DD. I’m in my dream career anyway (that she has precisely no interest in) and I’m happy for her to do what she likes so long as she does it well to the best of her ability - and when the time comes allows her to be independent. (Obviously not for her first PT job - I don’t plan on turfing her out as soon as she gets her first job 😂).

It depends if she wants much. I felt DS1 "should" get a job as he went into sixth form but actually he had very little need of one as he hardly spent anything. If he'd been demanding designer gear and an active social life, I'd have told him he needed to work for it, but as it was he could manage quite well on the cash his GPS sent him for birthday and Christmas and was happy with the supermarket clothes I bought him.

School strongly advised against any Alevel student doing more than 8 hours' paid work per week and TBH my DS1 was only just an Alevel student! He needed that time to study.

Nothing wrong with encouraging her. I got my first Saturday job with the help of my parents; our NDNs son-in-law had a market stall and I used to do Saturday 9-5. I wasn’t keen at first but my DPs made it clear that I couldn’t expect them to subside me. It was great and I loved having my own money (£15 a day).

The downside as a pp has mentioned is that I did extra in the holidays between school and 6th form and as such focused more on the money than my schoolwork. As a result I packed 6th form in as I needed money more than A levels (my parents weren’t able to sub me and we had loads of trips we were ‘expected’ to go on). They were also quite inflexible with students who worked, my boss wasn’t unkind but found someone else to do my ‘extra’ hours and so I had to go back to just working Saturdays. No EMA than either. It took me a long time to get qualifications (did OU) and an OK job.

If she's only 15 she's going to find it very difficult anyway. The Saturday jobs with the chain stores we used to do are only available to 16+ now. The only people employing under 16s are the small independents.

@munemena she’d blinking bankrupt me if she could with her spending on cinema trips, buses to see her friends, makeup, clothes, McDonald’s etc! I refuse to pay for it all but I know she’d like more money.

She is 16 in 3 weeks.

My 16 year old works and earns loads and has worked since she was 14.

Like a pp she moans about it all the time and thinks I know nothing about work (I have two part time jobs, what could I know?!)

Most importantly she is learning that she is Not entitled to lounge around all summer, she is making friends at work and learning how to deal with people. We are lucky in that we live in a touristy town so jobs are easily had and most kids earn money from a young age helping in family businesses, most 16 year olds work here at weekends and during the holidays.

It's never going to be a negative thing: working at 16 and earning your own money so I think you are right to encourage but I would have her write her own cv too.

PP makes a good point. I took a PT job that I did well at, was promoted quite quickly and was well paid compared to entry level jobs with better prospects. I stayed there when I (probably) should have gone to university.

I finally did my degree at 35 with two young children, so I did get there but I did it hard way and I don't think my career ever really caught up with where it would have been if I'd been a graduate entrant at 21(ish)

I had a Saturday job from when I turned 15, then worked 16 hours a week in the evenings when I was 16 and 25 hours a week all through AS, A levels and university.

Before that I had summer fruit picking work from 13. Never been out of work, except for 9 month maternity leave and have a great job now. I see nothing wrong with a 16 year old doing 8 hours work a week.

I have three teenagers. The eldest two were both employed by the town owned rec centre at 15 as slide attendants and lifeguards when they turned 16. (One had also spent a summer dishwashing in a hotel at 13). My current 15yo is a full time summer programme assistant.
I am slightly weirded out by the concern about kids working while at school. Dd1 has just finished her second year of university (microbiology) and ds1 is just embarking on a gap year to work and travel before he starts. In both cases, working instilled discipline that crossed over into study habits and overall maturity. Oo. Scary.

Since she is entering yr11, I think YABU
First, she should be focussing on GCSEs
Second, any job a 16yr old can get will be a bullshit job for spending money. It is not only secondary to education but gets you zero points on your CV after you complete uni. The earnings are so small, they don’t even get credit towards the state pension. They will have 50yrs of work from age 20 to 70 for their generation so why the hurry to start early?

The only exceptions would be

1. if you plan for her to leave school after GCSEs and do an apprenticeship (cheffing, retail,etc) or vocational course (hair dressing etc).
2. household finances are such that she has to contribute and must work (poverty).

If she wants a job, then support her ensure it’s no more than 8hrs a week paid time plus no more than 1hr total commute time both ways.

If she doesn’t want a job, then I’d leave her well enough alone and perhaps encourage an extra curricular activity that shows extra skills like learning guitar or sewing or sports- anything she has an interest in.

If it’s too comfy a life she won’t work. You already pay for cinema trips etc so she probably doesn’t see the need to work. Dear old mum will pay for everything!

If however you were to agree new rules about how much you were prepared to give her in pocket money (ie she can spend it on cinemas or jewellery or whatever but once it’s gone there will be no more) then it may encourage her to try harder to get a job if she feels like she can no longer do the things she previously enjoyed.
However if she does need to study for exams which will be important for her to get good grades in so she can have a good career, then the job may have to wait?

Depends how bright she is and how much sleep she needs.

You’d be gutted if she prioritised extra shifts at a wee weekend job that suddenly had her working loads of days to get money to get designer gear and nails, lashes etc and failed her exams.
Your work ethic is great though I’m not sure on the timing of exams etc these days, which could be the deciding factor.

Another who thinks that you seem to have crossed the line from 'encouraging' to 'forcing'. The key is, to encourage your dc to be motivated themselves to get a job, not for you to make them.

I think some y11s can no doubt cope well with a part time job, but I do think at y11 it should come from them.

Many of the new GCSEs have more content than the old ones, and the moving more-or-less everything to terminal exams rather than the coursework/controlled assessments or modular exams from before mean that there is more pressure on exams.

For me, the issue isn't the 8hrs/week as such, but the commitment at a regular time irrespective of tiredness / homework / mocks etc. Some DC will be able to handle it well, but I think y11 should be about parents doing things to relieve additional pressure, not parents adding to it.

As long as it's only a few hours a week it sounds like a great idea. Where I used to work people who started at 16 often did overtime in the holidays, and could even come back over summer break from uni if they wanted. Things are different now but a lot of local businesses still tend to do this around here. GCSE's are intense, but you don't spend every minute of the day revising; it did me good to have a few hours a week where I couldn't sit and think and stress about them. I went to uni with a few people who had never had a job, and they are the ones who struggled to find a job to give them some extra money, and took longer afterwards to land a job. This isn't the case for everyone, but whichever route she takes after school it will stand her in good stead, she might meet more people as well.

As soon as my dd turned 16, we went to town and walked around with her CV and she got a part time job that day by just chatting to the manager. She was paid under £4hr but stayed a year.
Once my son was 16,two years ago,we walked around our local town and handed in a CV. Three shops called him within the week and he worked in New look for 6mnths.
Both have turned out to be hard workers and reliable and managed to save for their first cars on their own

I’m all for kids working during summer holidays. Does she have any outside of school commitments? Sport etc? If not then a Saturday job will be fine and doable even when doing her GCSEs (maybe not the actual month she’s sitting them).
I might put her in a good position to up her hours for next summer.
But she needs to do it herself - fine to help her with her CV but don’t go calling around - she needs to do it!

Good evidence that children who work whilst doing A levels underachieve. Many schools ban part-time working to encourage youngsters to focus on studying.

@Ornery
My concern is more about parental pushing of a teen into a job before they are mentally mature enough/ready and how that often results in said teen developing an aversion to work in general. Especially considering that the type of work a teen can get is BS in nature and therefore not well treated by customers or employers. The wages are crap too with under 18s making a pittance.

I personally had to start working at age 12 due to poverty.
My husband started at age 14 as well.
It would have been nice to have a few years to enjoy being a teen before working.

But with our kids we’ve expressed that education is #1. If they want extra spending money, they can CHOOSE to work but they have to keep their grades up & on top of schoolwork or we will forbid them from working. But we’ve also said, if you don’t want extra money, no need to have a job at your age.

YA definitely NBU
I worked from age 14 earning pretty shite money but it was at least something, and really made me appreciate the value of money. I got 3 A’s and 2 b’s in my higher exams all while working on Saturdays and some Sundays.

Pretty much everything AngelasAshes's said. Her GCSE year is already going to be pressured enough.

For a different perspective on "when I was young"... When I was in sixth form we were strongly advised by our teachers not to work except in the summer, as in their experience it always negatively affected students' performance.

I truly think it’s good for year 11 kids to have a break from studying, with work being a relief from it. It’s such a full on year at school with revision sessions and longer days, they don’t need to spend every second studying at home too.