To firmly encourage DD to get a PT job?

[Wrongdissection]

DD is 16 in a couple of weeks, I have spent today sitting with her writing a CV and applying online for jobs for her (with her beside me). She isn’t unenthusiastic about the idea but I know if she was left to her own devices she probably wouldn’t bother. I’m not asking her to work all hours and any money she earns will be her own but I feel really strongly that she needs to get out there and get a job and start learning new skills as early as possible.

DH on the other hand says I’m pushing too hard and need to chill out, ‘she’s not even 16 yet’. There might even have been an eye roll.

DH and I have always been employed, both from a young age with PT jobs before we settled in our chosen careers and worked alongside school/uni etc. DD as I say just doesn’t seem to have that drive to work just yet and I really want to encourage it.

Am I being too pushy and need to lay off?

I worked from the week I got my NI number so just under 16, I got excellent GCSEs, AS and A levels (my generation did both), a high 2:1 at a very respected RG whilst also engaging in a lot of extracurricular activity. To dispel another MN myth, I'm also a summer baby.

I have recruited a lot in my line of work and the graduates who have some real life experience fare much better, dealing with irritated customers in a shop, running around prioritising talks as a waiter/waitress in a busy restaurant, learning to work with others of different ages, intellects and backgrounds, it's all positive. YANBU

We had to push DS at 16 to get a job as his hobby was costing us too much! He got a job pot washing on a Friday and Saturday night at the local pub. They taught him to cook far better than I did! (He makes a mean sticky toffee).
He’s now 21 and at uni... and really looks down on those friends who have yet to have any kind of holiday job.

It teaches them so much as others have said.

Is she 16 or August or September? If she is just heading into year 11 I would get the GCSEs out of the way first.

Greek OP clarified earlier, about to enter y11.

@hashtagthathappened ‘I really feel sorry for this kid tbh’ 😂😂

Oh don’t be so blinking dramatic. I’m not frog marching her down the mine or shoving her up the nearest chimney.

It’s really interesting reading (most of) the responses. I have to say I still feel as though giving it a shot at this age is no bad thing. Yes it’s GCSE year but DD won’t spend all day every day revising anyway and of course if she was struggling then any job would be the first thing to go. I guess we’ll see where these applications land, it seems to have fired something in her as she has asked me to speak to my friend whose husband manages her favourite restaurant.

Nothing wrong with trying OP, but just make sure she doesn’t struggle as well as doing GCSE’s. It may put too much pressure on her.
Equally doing a shift or two a week might do her the world of good. I worked from 16 (and moved out, due to necessity. V different situation) so maybe I’m biased. But I don’t really see the issue unless she struggles. But you won’t know how pressuring she finds it until she does it and she may be very happy with having her own (albeit small) paypacket every week.

Personally I think y11 students should focus on being kids.

They need to focus on their studies and have social time and hobbies to relax, not have to worry about not being able to see their friends or keep to hobby commitments because their shift pattern hasn't come out yet.

Even at A Level there's a noticeable difference in approach to studies between those who have a job and those who don't. The ones who do think nothing of working til 11pm/12am and then rolling in tired and without prep done because "I was working last night". Coursework is frequently last minute because "I had thie on and that on and then I was working" then you point out they had all half term and it turns out they'd been asked to pick up extra shifts. I find 16/17 year olds get taken advantage of in the workplace and it affects their studies. 6th formers it's reasonable to have a job,year 11 seems ridiculous to me

You sound disbelieving BackforGood!

The links to some of the studies
www.iser.essex.ac.uk/research/publications/working-papers/iser/2014-42.pdf
www.researchgate.net/publication/254345619_Effects_of_Part-Time_Work_on_School_Achievement_During_High_School

I know you’re not OP but there’s a big wide gulf between ‘I’m not putting a child up a chimney’ and ‘I’m doing this parenting thing well.’

Sorry - you asked if you were BU or not and I think you are.

She’s one of the oldest in her year: some kids in her school year will still be 14. She’s going into Year 11 when she’ll have GCSEs to focus on. If she was burning with desire to get a job it would be different but she isn’t and it’s crap pay and it is tiring.

Like others have said she’s got the rest of her life for work.

I would wait until she was in sixth form personally, let her get year 11 and her GCSE’s out of the way first.

Is that 16 on 31/8 and has just done GCSEs (in which case YANBU),
or 16 on 1/9 and about to enter y11 (in which case YABU)?
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Wrongdissection Sun 11-Aug-19 20:58:58

@TeenTimesTwo it’s the latter but what is the difference?*

The difference is that for the latter any employer will have to apply to the local authority for a licence to be allowed to employ her and there are rules about the type of places and hours she will be allowed to work.

My dd did GCSE's a year ago. The stress of the new exams os nothing like what we went through all those years ago. She needs to focus on those. My own dd got a part time job once she started 6th form.

My mum worked from when she was 14 as her family was poor and they needed the money. She went back to study in her 20s and qualified and worked as a primary school teacher her whole career. She’s very driven.

I think this experience shaped her approach to my working while at school (I am an only child). She didn’t want me to have a PT job, but wanted me to focus on my studies. This focus did pay off and I got great exam results and a good degree.

But I reckon I could have done it with some hours working at the weekend, too. And it would have improved my maturity and a whole heap of other skills as well. Plus I would have been better placed to work more hours during the holidays and save money for uni or whatever.

So, I think it’s good to encourage kids to work PT jobs as it teaches them responsibility, as well as improving their confidence and organisational skills etc.

Kids generally have a bit more time in sixth form. They have study periods built into the day.

I absolutely take on board that point but respectfully disagree. If DD was refusing to engage and had no interest whatsoever and I was having to force this on her then yes that’s concerning.

I don’t think we’ll agree on this one but it’s been good to hear other points of view and it’s given me things to consider. I think for now I’ll leave it with DD. If she wants to keep looking and asks for help to apply for more then I’m not going to stop her and will definitely encourage. Likewise if she gets anywhere with these applications then I will cheerlead the hell out of her. And if she starts moaning about the amount of money she has I shall do nothing but rise an eyebrow and shrug and see if she’s gets there of her own accord 😂

Ah yes, @Comefromaway good point -
I do understand the new GCSEs are much more difficult than the ones I sat! So that probably should be considered, too. Indeed, perhaps wait until she is in the first year of 6th form (assuming she stays on to do A levels).

Fair enough but do remember you’re a parent forever Op

@Comefromaway they only have to apply for a licence when they are under 16. She won’t be working under the age of 16.

Friends who have children my dd's age who did the new GCSE's last year but also have older children who did them a couple of years ago tell me it was so much easier for their older children.

I think come is correct because she’s of school age and so there are certain restrictions in place, although I’m not sure how that’s policed.

I work in a secondary school and tbh none of the kids have jobs.

That's not correct. A licence has to be applied for untilthe last Friday in June of Year 11 (I used to work in the area of child employment & licensing.

The process varies slightly from local authority to local authority (each has its own bylaws restricting the kinds of places a child under official school leaving age can work in) but some aspects are set in law nationally (England)

I have heard several teachers on here say they don’t recommend part-time jobs during term time whilst studying GCSEs or A-Levels.

That was the advice when I was the same age in 1994/5. No-one listened, mind.

Most girls I knew were working in some capacity younger than that.

I would wait until her 16th birthday has actually passed before turning the thumbscrews. She knows your intentions.

In Year 11 no, I don't think you should be firmly encouraging her. Paid work isn't such a positive in itself that it needs to be focused on whilst in Year 11. The exception would be if a job might relate to something she wants to do post 16, so for example if she wants to go to college for a beauty related diploma then a Saturday job at a hairdressers could be a real advantage, that type of thing. But otherwise no, if you don't need the cash I think there are more valid thing she could be doing with her time.

When I was at school, having a PT job around A levels was the norm because you had study periods in the school day and plus everyone was at least 16, although it was tricky for me as I didn’t turn 18 until August and so I was restricted in the type of work I could do.

But it wasn’t the norm to have a PT job in school (11-16)

We appear to have a lot of snow flakes

Those who do hours and hours of extra curriculum and practise for dance shows etc not see the amount of time spent of them is no different to working kids?

Some families need the teens to work, others want to earn some pocket money.